Immediate Family Wedding Etiquette

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Hello, Brianna:

My son is marrying a wonderful girl from Peru before the end of the year and like you, they want to keep the wedding itself to immediate family members only. I am trying to find information about the same things you mentioned - announcements, bridal shower, registry. It doesn't feel right to do this if people won't be invited to the wedding. If you're willing to share, I'd love to hear how you resolved some of these questions for yourself.

Thanks,

Jami

I definitely enjoy going to weddings of friends and family, and make every effort to attend most, short of spending an outrageous amount so we did not have money for bills and necessary thing. Just as I enjoy every few years travelling abroad to see some family. But I have never felt rushed, or wounded, or upset if for some reason I simply cannot go. A little disappointed, yeah. I think you are projecting too much. Except your mom and dad, most people will understand that this is what you want, and be happy you are getting it. And not be upset particularly that they will not be there. Plan the wedding that will suit your wants and needs. If having 10-20 K left after a small economical wedding is what matters, then have a very few people. More and more weddings these days are very elaborate, with full meals and dancing, lasting 6-10 hours plus travel, and often an expectation of staying overnight. And not necessarily more meaningful than a small gathering followed by coffee and cake, which was the style of the majority of weddings not long ago. If you are not into the spectacle, that is fine. Plan what you want. Entertain people in your home for the next 30 years. Your wedding is not your one and only opportunity in a lifetime.

View Quoted Comment Hi, not sure if you are still on here but I am doing the same thing & would appreciate any and all guidance. I am lost planning a small wedding, I feel with the smaller weddings comes less help and guidance.

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You should start a thread under the planning topic. Share what you think would be a possible setting for your wedding. If you want a small venue, you might find chapels in your location. Or could you do a ceremony and reception in someone's house? People may be available to give more guidance and perhaps better guidance if you know how many guests you will have. You also need an idea how much you are willing to spend for the event.

The basic elements are yourself and your partner, a place to gather, a marriage license, an officiant, some guests, and some food for after-celebration.