immediate family kids at wedding

Hate to break it to you, but If you have other kids at the wedding, it's only fair to have your FH little sister. Sure she's a brat, but you will be so preoccupied with everything to even care. What does your FH think about this?

And she doesn't have to be in the wedding to attend, it's your FH's sister, she has a right to attend, even if it's an adult only wedding (you can tell that to any guests who get upset that there was a child there) It's different if it's a sibling as opposed to guestts children.

I'd highly recommend having something there for her to do if she's that bad. I doubt you're going to get out of having her come. It sounds like she's coming whether she's invited or not, and it's only fair given that she's the sister of the groom. Also, if you had the cousins and NOT the FSIL, it would probably put a huge rift in your relationship with your FMIL.

No we arent having any other kids, we did want the only other 2 kids in his family there because they are very well behaved but we aren't going to so it is adult only. he doesn't want to get involved, he said he wanted her in the wedding but not at the reception. we are young with alot of friends going, and there will be alot of alcohol and we are at a very expensive place and dont want to worry about her running around. but its between me and his mom so he will not choose

With your update there, I think you should consider setting a time limit for her. If that includes the MIL leaving, then so be it, but at least you won't have a child running around with all this alcohol present. Also, another thing to consider is that you have a year. Her behavior could change greatly in this time. I have an 8 year old sister and it's hit-or-miss with her. She's gone through times where she behaves exceptionally and others where she's a rotten little brat.

Thats what i figured. i was hoping to maybe offer a babysitter to take her home after dinner. but i think either way im not getting out of it. thank you

If he wants to include her in the wedding, then it's only fair to include her in the reception. I think that if you didn't include her, there is going to be a lot or resentment and hurt feelings, and you may regret it later. I'm all about having your day your way, to an extent. My advice is to compromise, don't include her in the wedding at all, or even just a minor way (guest book attendant, candle carrier, etc.)And have her attend the reception to a certain point, say after the important dances, then she can go to a sitter.

We are only having our children there..and that's only on the strength of them being in the wedding party.But if they weren't OH BELIEVE ME they wouldn't be there either!lol They are generally well behaved children though.This is a toughy and really I would use the "alcohol will be served at that's no place for children any ways" Excuse so my FH calls it...

Honestly, I don't really understand adult-only receptions, as I think weddings are about family. That being said, if you want adults only, make it adults only! Explain to FMIL that it simply won't be appropriate for her to be there, given the alcohol consumption and the behavior of your friends. Make it more about their behavior, rather than the sister, so she won't be offended. My FH has younger siblings too, and though they'll be at the reception, they'll also leave early so we have time to party withough being afraid of setting a bad example.

Ok am I the only one who has a problem with him refusing to choose sides against his mother? If he wants to have an adult reception, he should say so. This is a huge red flag. Be prepared for your mother in law to run your marriage if he doesn't figure out which side of the line he's supposed to stand on.

Haha, ladylee, i know! she is honestly so great. and i love my FMIL but I know this has been a sore subject. we have recently been to 2 showers and weddings where the little one wasnt invited and she brought her anyways saying oh they mean her too. He wants his sister in the wedding and I am completely fine with that. and even her being at dinner, but once the party starts going, i dont want to have to worry about one kid while everyone is trying to have fun. maybe ill just slip her some benadryl lol. and since my family is paying for everything i feel like i have more of a say.

Fact is 20 years down the road this brat is still going to be your SIL. You need to adjust to her behavior because if she is that spoiled it isn't going to change. Everything in your life will take a back seat to hers from now on. So as I see it you can adjust and invite her or plan on living your life without support from the FIL's.

Well i think you have every right to just tell her "oh no I DON'T mean her too". no kids means no kids. we were initially going to have no kids at all but then we decided to do immediate family only. so just our siblings kids will be there and his great-nieces. That only amounts to about 4 or 5 little ones and a handful of teenagers. But trust me they will all be getting the pep talk about making sure their kids are well behaved and what they should do if the little ones become uncomfortable. they do NOT want to contend with me if I hear babies crying in my video.

Oh and no you don't have more of a say than your FH just because your family is paying. If he made more money than you would it give him more of a say about what happens in your home just because he pays the bills?

I highly recommend having lots to do for any kids. I had 10 kids at the wedding, they had their own table with lots of coloring sheets, crayons and they each had their own goody bag with small (quiet) toys that I got out of the dollor bin at Target. For the girls I had lots of princess things with paper and pens to write on, little stuffed animals and interesting things like a kaleidoscope. I also found things at Michael's. Good luck!

The parents thanked me over and over for having so many things for their children so that they could enjoy themselves. So maybe your FMIL/FSIL would also appreciate it.

Nicole, I know the solution to your problem. Buy a bubble machine and have it setup, over in the corner (carpeted area). I use them for receptions and it keeps the kiddos herded up nicely.

Hope this helps.

This is what their table looked like:

I love all the ideas, but i dont have any other kids in the family. thats the thing, there will not be any other kids to keep her occupied. i have 2 cousins, which will be in the wedding but the parents have already said they r going home so they can have a night out. but that table is the cutest idea

I think having her picked up by a sitter after the wedding is reasonable. We are having our kids only at our wedding and im very worried about them making it to the end of the night buy the time we get married one will be 7 and the other 2 and a half. and the wedding reception is untill 11. So if someone went home with them at a certain time that would be awesome. Maybe consider a family member thats not a big partier. And would probably leave early anyways