I'm the bride, but my mom is the bridezilla

Who is paying for it? Let her have input on the small things that don't matter, decide the big things on your own and tell vendors, the venue etc., not to answer to her to make changes unless you have spoken ahead of time with her about it and are both on same page.

Ive had the same problem. I dont know your relationship, but for me I've had to pick whats most important to me and put my foot down on some things. Its gotten a bit chilly between us times but it thaws out. You got alot of time to figure out how to address it best for the two of you, maybe go lunch and talk.

My fiance and I are paying for it, she may have some money to give to us but other than that she isn't paying for it. I'm trying to put my foot down, like on the colors for instance, we have having a grey, white, and black wedding with pops of color, she doesn't like that idea but that's what we are going with anyway. She's just a little controlling, unfortunately we both are so we bump heads a lot.

Its your day! Stay strong. I deterred my mother by giving her some things that she liked to do and it appeased her enough that she backed off of things that were important to me. She tried to change some things that my FH were set on and I had to talk it out with her. I started my planning with my FMIL listing demands prior to his proposal and my parents after. We had some fights and it pretty much came down to "its about us and its out of our pocket so sorry". But over a few months it got better.

She probably doesn't see your vision. Remember that at the end of the day this YOUR day. I think you need to sit down and have a talk with her. You have a looooong road ahead.

No pay, no say. Period.

I just hope that we don't but heads to much. My mother is my rock and my best friend but at the same time she's still my mother, and I'm still her baby. I think it's just because my sister had a small two person wedding since her husband is airforce, but at the same time she won't give me my space about it and as much as I hate telling her no I have to. Thanks for the responses so far, they're really helping with how I'm going to approach her about this.

She sounds like my mother. After the first couple of disagreements I've stopped discussing wedding details with her.

I had the same problem with my older sister (maid of honor) and my mom. I am the first sibling to get married and I felt like my older sister was also talking over my decisions or at least being against a lot of my decisions. Then my mom just taking her side. She called me a bridzilla and I was told to "take a chill pill" I just about lost it at that point. I took some much needed space from both of them...for like 20 mins then came back with this. "I am the leader. This is MY wedding. You two are my supporters. If you are not willing to support me then why are you here?" And it worked. I tend to be a pushover when it comes to my older sister and I think she needed to hear that.

Set boundaries and have an honest conversation about this now or you're in for quite a long road.

Its so nice to hear Im not alone.... sorry ladies for misery loving company.

Yes set boundaries with them. Give them duties if they want to be included in the planning process and have a say in things. A lot of times they just want to be included or want you to like thier ideas so much that they don't think they are stepping on your toes.

Wow. Nice to hear this isn't just me. Anyone think it's a generational issue? Like they don't understand that weddings are unique and customised more today?

I don't talk to my mom at all about wedding and my FH told me to ask her not to come any more. Sad but she was destroying everything.

Ugh im sorry everyone is experiencing this too. I noticed in the beginning that my mom constantly mentioned how her mom planned and ruled her wedding and that she felt left out of my brothers wedding. She has obviously tried to make for loss time with mine and tried to include my FMIL in things (behind our backs) so that she can also overtake us, i mean not feel left out . I do think its a generational difference in how things are done. Whenever they dont like something I have to hear remarks like "we didnt do tha in my day... or... traditionally blah blah blah". I will say that at sometimes its frustrating and at others I just laugh at it. If you let it get to you too much, it'll ruin some really great planning experiences.

My mom makes suggestions, however she isn't in my opinion trying to take over. My mother hasn't been to a wedding since 1990, so a lot of the "newer" things she never heard of, so I just have to explain that it's the norm now.

My sister is fine, she's even trying to hold my mom back with some of it. I'm so,glad to hear I'm not alone in this. It sucks but at the same time I can learn from all of you. Thank you guys so much this is really helping

This may sound weird, but I somewhat envy all of you with over-involved mothers! I know my mom loves me very much, but weddings just aren't something she's interested in. She doesn't really ask me about my planning, the thought of going dress shopping with me never would've occurred to her, etc. She'll be there for the wedding and will be happy to celebrate with me, but there will be no touching mother-daughter moments leading up to the big day.

I understand, I'm like that with father daughter moments. I hope she gets a little more involved in yours, but not nearly as involved as our mothers are. Its insanely stressful.