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Nikki
Beginner September 2020

I'm Just Not Excited Anymore

Nikki, on February 25, 2020 at 9:34 PM Posted in Community Conversations 1 21
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So, I've been lurking here for a while as an anon, but tonight I just got slapped with reality and I really need some advice.

I'm not excited for my wedding or honeymoon anymore. Let me say that I adore my fiance and can't wait to marry him, but I'm 100% over the wedding/honemoon fights we get in. I mean, this is supposed to be fun right? He freaks out about every penny we spend on the wedding (which will end up being about $11,000 USD) and now he's flipping about a trip we already agreed on and that his mom (my fmil) wants to pay for. We're going to Disney (he's been, I haven't) but the last time he went was like a decade ago and OF COURSE prices inflated. So the trip is apparently going to be around $7,500 USD, everything included. He wants to instead go to Europe and he apparently found a travel package for like $4,000 USD not including food. But the package and honestly the whole trip seems like something we would do with his mom, very tourist-y and not really a honeymoon. Lots of driving/traveling. So he agreed to Disney again, but he's obviously upset about the money and I told him we could just not do either and go somewhere like California or New York instead- both places he expressed wanting to go to. He said no, and now I'm not looking forward to anything. I wish we could just elope and do a staycation- I know no matter what we do he's going to complain about money and it just kills the fun for me.
Sorry for the long post, any advice would be appreciated.

21 Comments

Latest activity by Katy, on February 26, 2020 at 12:05 PM
  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    Hmm! Has he helped make many decisions on the wedding planning portion? Sometimes I’ve heard if you involve the guy more they won’t be so negative nancy!
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  • Nikki
    Beginner September 2020
    Nikki ·
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    Actually yes, he's been there step by painful step- that's why he's so privy to exactly how much we're spending and what we're spending it on. I would try NOT telling him, but that would probably just make me feel dishonest and shady.
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  • VIP November 2021
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    Ugh sorry !! Hmm maybe you guys can agree to go somewhere else in Florida and drive to Disney for a day or two to lessen the expenses???
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  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    Oh wow! I figured him seeing what goes into it he’d understand why things can cost so much. I feel like I have been trying to limit wedding convo to a couple times a week. I was slightly talking wedding everyday and I know that can get annoying real quick. As far as the honeymoon goes, maybe start from scratch and pick somewhere neither of you have been and are exited about. We decided on a Europe trip and I picked my bucket list country and he picked his, then we are compromising on the third country!
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  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    This is a good idea!!
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  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    $7500 on a single trip does sound a bit excessive in my opinion! I like the idea of maybe just doing a few days there then the rest of the time so other things!
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    The stresses of planning things big like this can just add to the tension so it’s normal you guys fight and it sucks but remember to take breaks from all this planning to just have a date. I like your idea of not doing either ! It’ll be good where ever you guys go because it’s together
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    How is a Disney trip costing $7,500?! We spent 7 nights in a resort the Bahamas where prices are SUPER inflated because it’s an island plus resort tax and everything, and that trip was only $4,000. It definitely sounds like you could still go to Disney but reorchestrate the trip a bit to spend much less.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    It sounds like you two are on two separate pages. I hate to be a pest but I wouldn't spend $7500 for Disney and I love in Florida. I would fh rather spend that going out of the country. What does he envision for the wedding? Does he feel he's not getting much of what he wants? I agree it should be fun so I can see your frustration too. Could you get the wedding you want and he get the honeymoon you want? Could you do a destination wedding to Florida and go see Disney then?
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    If it helps, DH and I did Disney, and it was FAB.

    We did 6 days - 3 at Disney, 2 at Universal - and stayed at the All Star resorts to save money.

    DH had never been to Disney World, I hadn't been since 1990 (!!!), and it was actually magic.

    Is there a way you can adjust the honeymoon to save some money? Disney is totally worth it.

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  • R
    Expert May 2021
    Rachael ·
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    Disney is expensive so that's really not a bad price for 2 people unfortunately, my future in-laws go every year and spend about that. I'm confused why he cares the cost of the honeymoon if it's not costing you guys anything. Maybe you guys can agree on a different place all together that will make him hapoy. As far as the wedding costs go, did you guys talk about it up front before you started planning that way he shouldn't have sticker shock along the way? Maybe he's just worried about the financial situation you'll be in after spending that much money ?
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    I'm sorry your experience hasn't been the best. I've been doing literally everything alone and while I was bitter at first, I've come to appreciate the fact that I don't have to argue with someone over the choices I make. FH is aware of the total we're spending but we don't discuss how much I spent on each line item because he panics over going over the budget. I recently bought 60 wax LED pillar candles for our centerpieces, brand new, for $150. I hadn't found a price this good ANYWHERE. Renting would have even been $200. They came in the mail yesterday and he asked me about them so I told him what it was and how much they were and his eyes got huge. "You spent $150 on candles?!?" Yes... because that's what it costs. There's a budget. I'm staying within it. Don't worry about how I get there. I'd definitely try to talk to him and just say "I really don't want to argue about wedding related stuff anymore. Is there something about it that's been bothering you? I just want to get on the same page."Smiley smile

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  • Nikki
    Beginner September 2020
    Nikki ·
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    That's why I include him on everything and we shop together, so he DOESN'T get surprised. In the beginning his mom and I explained our theme, what we absolutely would need for it and about how much we think it would cost. Initially our budget was around $15,000 USD, so me clocking in at $11,000 USD is pretty rad. We ended up having a talk this morning after cooling off and he IS excited about Disney, he was just surprised and didn't handle the initial shock well lol
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  • Nikki
    Beginner September 2020
    Nikki ·
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    Exactly! This morning I told him I don't care where we're go a long as we're both happy and together. He agreed and does want to do Disney, it was the initial shock that he didn't handle well. Now that I've told him how I felt he's agreed to rein himself in and try to be less negative lol
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  • Nikki
    Beginner September 2020
    Nikki ·
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    Ugh it was that way with our Cake Topper. Our budget for it was $80 USD. I got a CUSTOM one for $65 USD. He STILL apparently got whiplash. I had to remind him of our detailed budget and how I UNDERSPENT so we could use the money somewhere else.
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  • Nikki
    Beginner September 2020
    Nikki ·
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    Generally speaking, he basically worries about "what about AFTER the big purchase". However, he's never been this bad before. And yes we made a detailed budget for EVERYTHING and it came out to $15,000 USD. After everything our wedding is going to cost us $11,000 USD and his mom was always going to pay for the honeymoon so that of course isn't something we budgeted for. At first she wanted it to be a surprise, but because he couldn't let it go she let us know and we talked about packages and different things we could do to cut costs there.
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  • Nikki
    Beginner September 2020
    Nikki ·
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    Disney is expensive. We went through different plans to see how we could save money- food alone is worth an arm and a leg there. We settled on a plan that gives us access to everything and food, so honestly we shouldn't have to spend anything while we're there.
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  • Nikki
    Beginner September 2020
    Nikki ·
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    We did do organizing when we initially planned the trip. When we get there we shouldn't have to pay for ANYTHING. We get a hotel, a shuttle between the place and Disney, three meals a day for both of us (6 total) a snack for both of us and a refillable cup for both of us for drinks. That was one of the reasons his mom liked the idea of us going there- because no extra money should be necessary unless theres a souvenir we want
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    Are you staying on Disney property? You won't need a shuttle if you do.


    Could you switch to a cheaper hotel?
    In terms of the wedding itself, your costs are way low, as it is.
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  • Nikki
    Beginner September 2020
    Nikki ·
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    I'm just not sure if we'd have to pay for a ride to the park everyday- the site said there was a shuttle available for us to use I think to and from the airport, Disney and Universal. I dont know if the shuttle is still available from a different hotel. But, we could definitely try a different hotel.
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