I'm having total anxiety at the thought of changing my name.

I got a little freaked out. The day before my wedding, before the rehearsal dinner, I wanted some time to spend as ME for the last time -- Kiley ____, not Mrs. DH. I was an English major that worked at a library in high school -- so I wound up getting a little mini bottle of wine, pouring it into a juice bottle, and going to the public library for an hour to drink, read my Bible, and make my peace. After the rehearsal dinner, I spent the night by myself at a hotel and watched the last episode of Gilmore Girls (a favorite show in college). The next day, I was fine.

Now the trouble is getting to all the places that need to be changed...that's a pain. I still find myself on the phone at work sometimes saying "Hi, this is Kiley ____" and then having to correct myself. Old habits die hard. But ultimately it just took some time to come to peace with letting that chapter end because a new, more exciting chapter is starting.

Nervous is not the right word, but maybe disappointed is a little closer. I am the only one in the US with my name (I googled myself) when I change my name I'm one of a few. For some reason that bothers me, when normally I like to blend into the crowd. But I can't wait to change my last name, I go from something no one can pronounce to something short & easy.

YES. I had a lot of anxiety over it. I ended up hyphenating my and FH name and I’m glad I did. Instead of hyphenating you could also have a 2nd middle name or drop your middle name and replace it with your maiden names. There are a lot of options.

You will still be Erica ___ just not on paper anymore! That part of you never goes away you know!

If it's causing serious anxiety, and you have yet to put in your marriage application, perhaps you can discuss this with your FH and see what's best for you both?

There are many people in the US that I served in the military with that did not change their last name, I myself am of puerto rican descent and do not change my last name my kids will have 2 last names the father's first (Morales) then the mother's (DeLaTorre) my name is Maria I Morales-DeLaTorre ...There's nothing saying u have to change your name just a guy a long time ago who wanted it that way :-) if your having a heart attack over it just talk with him and let him know you'd like to keep your last name u were born with but marry him :-) and hope he don't trip out LOL...my FH understands our customs and heritage and is fine with this decision for me to keep my name since the kids will have both last names to continue each family line not just one.

I'm ok with changing last name; but I still don't know what to do about my middle names. I've always been Tiffany Krista Renee____ legally, and while I really don't like the two-middle-names thing, it's what I've always been and it sorta links me to my brothers as they all have Christopher and something else as their middle names! So I still haven't decided whether to make things easy and legally drop the Krista or keep it (I like Tiffany Renee better than Tiffany Krista so that's the one I'd drop.)

I can completely relate. When I married the first time I didn't want to give up my maiden name either. So kept it as a second middle name. So was still a part of my identity. But that was almost 20 years ago and now am getting married again. When I divorced my first, I kept his last name as it took forever to get it finalized and is now, in my eyes not my ex-husbands last name, but my 2 sons. My maiden name is something I simply don't relate to anymore, so am dropping it. But want to take my FH's last name, but still keep the tie of my son's last name as well so am hyphenating them. I'll be Jen MiddleName FHlastname-sonslastname. So think about it, revert to Jr High again and write your name in different variations in a notebook over and over until you find something you are comfortable with. You'll find it. Whether you keep your maiden name, take his, or some variation. Congrats!

I think it's a normal reaction. I am pretty excited because to me it really means we're together and a family unit. I figure I've spent 25 years with one last name, and assuming I live to be older than 50 then more than half my life will be with another name and I'll identify with the new name even more than the name I have now. It is a bit funny though because my FH is Asian so I'll be getting an Asian last name and I'm sure everyone will expect me to also be Asian when they hear my name, then a white girl will show up haha! We also joked about combining our last names because his ends with a U and mine starts with a U...but it would have sounded really funny! But I'm moving up in the alphabet (I hate always being at the end when things are in alphabetical order) so that gets me excited! I'm a bit sad because some of my first published research papers are under my maiden name but I'm sure it'll work out fine. I think I'll go the route with two middle names though!