I'm having total anxiety at the thought of changing my name.

My MOH felt like this the same week she was changing her name, I'm sure everyone kind of goes through this a bit. You want to continue holding on to who you are and who you've been for however many years. It's okay, your still that girl it's just now your married, this is when you still have your own life within your marriage comes into play.

No, because I'm not changing my name. If I did I'd probably make my last name a second middle name then put FH last name at the end. Would that be a possibility?

Before my first wedding I did. As soon as I started the divorce process I took my maiden name back. I'm relatively excited to change my name this time - I'd be more excited if my first and new last names didn't rhyme.

I'm going to use my FirstName MaidenName LastName professional so while legally I'm dropping my maiden name, I'll still see it and use it.

You have tons of options and you don't necessarily HAVE to change it right away. Give yourself time to get used to it. It may grow on you and the two of you grow into a family and/or after you have children. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it because you feel like you HAVE too. These aren't the 1950s.

Hi Erica ___. :-)

I've definitely had my worries about changing my last name but then I realized that it was really what I wanted and, eventually, I overcame the stress. You seem to feel the same so I'm wondering if maybe it's just the act of undergoing such a major change that's making you anxious. You're definitely not the first. My cousin went through this last year, when she got married, almost opted out and jokingly said "He'll just have to take my last name. I'm giving him my life and he'll get babies, let me just keep my name."

You don't have to change your name.

I've been kind of going through something similar lately. I WANT to take FH's name. To me, that solidifies that we are one.

BUT at the same time, I feel in a sense that I am losing a part of me by dropping my name, like I am going to disappoint my family, which is completely ridiculous because my family is super traditional and would be appalled if a women didn't take their husbands name.

I did exactly what Rev. Ann Fuller talked about. I use my maiden name professionally but on facebook I have my married name. I still haven't legally changed my last name but if I did I would hyphenate. Hyphenating is actually not a new trend its been done forever in South America as a way to remember the past generations.

I went through this!!!! I totally understand the whole 'it's who you are and have always been' and when people called me Mrs. Henry the past couple days it makes me feel so weird because I'm just not used to it. A big reason I don't want to change my name is that I just graduated school, passed my boards and all my certificates are in my maiden name. I might keep my maiden name for work...and just have Henry for the rest of my life stuff...if I can do that.

ME ME ME!!! I am IRISHLOVE ______ I don't want to be IrishLove New name. I hate hate how it sounds with my name. I also would consider hyphenating but my name would be 32 letters long. Such a long name!

I'm scared to death tomorrow we are going for our marriage license tomorrow and it's the time I need to pick. Some days the thought of it really makes me sick and kind of wants me to throw up!

You're not alone Erica!

I'm a little different in the fact that I can't wait to take FH's name. I have my father's last name and he was an abusive drunk. I wanted to take my mother's maiden name, but she didn't change back. So, I want to drop his name. But if I had my mother's name, I think I would be more anxious. If my middle name were my last name though, I know I would be having panic attacks.

Thank you so much ladies for letting me know I'm not the only one!!! It's super important to my FH that I take his name...and it's not even a bad last name, it's just NOT MINE. It means just as much to him that I take his name as I want to keep mine. I know I will cave and take his, it's just. I DON'T WANNA!!!!!!!! LOL I feel like I'm going to cease to exist! And Mrs. NewLastName..reminds me of his MOTHER!

My FH comes from a very well known family in his hometown. I come from a very well known family in my home town and I have made a name for myself professionally. I am really struggling because I feel like all the hard work that I put into my career to make myself known will be gone. And I really don't want to be reminded of his mother when I am referred to by his last name. *shudder*

Hello fellow Erica! It's very normal to feel the way you do. You won't cease to exist, silly!

The first time I was married (briefly, at age 19) I changed my name. I changed it back as soon as I could. The 2nd time I married, I told my husband, "I'll give you my heart, my soul, my body, and all my worldly goods, but not my name." We were married for 10 years, had a hyphenated son, and remained close friends from the time we separated until the day he died.

We were ABSOLUTELY together, without a name change. Lots of people insisted in calling me "Mrs. Hisname" regardless of how I was introduced. I just rolled with it. But people say, you'll be less "a family" and that was simply never true.

Now I'm married for the third (& final) time. My spouse and I had a brief conversation about hyphenating. The thing is, both our last names are real words and either version of hyphenation would sound like a bad joke. Besides, she's a professor, I'm an author, we have professional names that matter to us. We are no less in love, no less a family, and no less together with our 2 last names.

I feel the same way. I honestly wouldn't change it but it seemed to upset FH very much when I suggested it. I'll get over it.

I was ready to change my last name. My last name was my mom's married last name (not my father, but is my sister & brother's dad). My named flowed well but I love my husbands last name much more

For my first wedding, I was super stressed and debated about taking his name or not, so I know how you feel. I liked my last name, everyone knew me by that name. His last name was that of his father (who he had never met and was not in his life). In the end, I moved my maiden name to a 2nd middle name and took his last name.

When it didn't work out, I wanted to take my maiden name back, but I was really torn up/embarrassed that I didn't want to make a big deal out of it (my parents are divorced and I said I'd never do the same), so I kept my married name. Yuck; I've regretted that, but now I go by my maiden name, but have to use my ex's last name legally.

This time, I'll be happy to take FI's last name. I know he's the right person for me and we're in it for the long haul. Some will always know me with my maiden name (and it's not as common) anyway.

ATTENTION:

If you do not want to change your last name, for whatever reason, DO NOT CHANGE YOUR LAST NAME. You don't need to justify why you want to keep your name--keep it if you don't want to change it!

You can ALWAYS change your mind, too. So if you're not sure, then just wait, and you can change it later if you change your mind!

Sometimes, it's just cold feet type panicking, but sometimes, you need to listen to your gut. If you don't want to change your last name, please don't!

I got a little anxious going in to change mine since my dad only has 2 daughters, but i didn't want to hyphenate so i went with the 2 middle names (we'll probably use my maiden name as a future child's middle name as well, just so it doesn't die out completely). It was actually pretty funny @ social security when i looked at my receipt with my new name on it, DH said "you HYPHENATED?!?" all worried-like when it was merely listing my now 4 names Silly hubby

I took my ex's last name when we married in 2000. When we divorced five years later, I never changed my name back to my maiden name bc I didn't like it. So I'm still Amy ExHusband'sLastName. Everhart is a great sounding last name and will be the first time in my life I won't have to correct the pronunciation of my name which is going to be a heck of a treat! I cannot wait! I'm NOT looking forward to the Social Security office, the DMV, the bank and every other damn thing that comes up though!