Gina
Savvy October 2020

I’m fat and i don’t want i get married! :(

Gina, on February 16, 2020 at 5:48 PM Posted in Fitness and Health 4 25
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I feel terrible about my weight. I had precancer in my uterus and needed hormones and I blew up to a whopping 275lbs! We were set to be married this year in September but I just don’t even want to go thru with it at this weight. Not enough time to lose 100lbs healthily.


Half of me wants to postpone it so that I can feel better about myself and my day. The other half of me says that’s ridiculous and “it’s me and he loves me, and it’s not about your weight”
I feel like even if I postpone the wedding I may not even lose the weight so it could all be for absolutely nothing. I mean I’m addicted to food.....and have been heavy my entire life so it’s like a whole life change now....
We’re trying to buy a house, he’s going to into police academy too!! I think I want to do this wedding this year and focus on the rest of the stuff next year but idk..
Any advice is appreciated......💕


25 Comments

Latest activity by Patrice, on February 20, 2020 at 6:33 AM
  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
    • Flag

    What counts is the marriage, not the wedding. Postponing the wedding indefinitely until you are the weight you want to be a) may not work, and b) leaves you not married for the years it might take even if it does.

    Your FI loves you as you are now. Presumably, you will invite only guests who care about you as you are now. That's much more important than looking a particular way on your wedding day.

    • Reply
  • Rebelle Fleur
    Rockstar July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
    • Flag
    I had a baby a year ago and I’ve barely lost any weight since giving birth. I have 7 months until my first fitting and I’m just starting to get serious about loosing the weight. I’m going to start the keto diet tomorrow in order to loose as much as possible. People from work have done it and it’s worked wonders for them. I know what it’s like for your S/O to tell you they love you no matter what size you are and then you look in the mirror and it tells you otherwise. Tell that voice to STFU and that you’re deserving of love and to be loved and that whether or not you loose 1 pound or 100 pounds you have someone that loves you for you and you live yourself too and that’s enough. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies when it comes to love, relationships and self love. Weighing a certain amount isn’t going to determine your value as a person. But using it as a tool to to hate yourself is. Don’t destroy a good thing because you haven’t figure out how to control every part of who you are. I suggest you get into therapy, the gym, the kitchen and some sort of spiritual guidance to help face your demons. Mind, Body, Spirit you’ve got this. All you have to do is do it. And keep doing it. Your partner loves you. You need to love you too.
    • Reply
  • Kathryn
    VIP August 2020
    Kathryn ·
    • Flag
    Deep breaths! There are plenty of dresses that will fit you no matter your weight! If I can find a dress that flatters me at 285, you certainly can find one. I would start making small changes to start prepping for your goals - cut out soda, no French fries, limited carbs. Or really just start meal prepping and attempting to alter your lifestyle. If you're anything like me, then making a huge change is tough. But I made sure I adjusted my lifestyle instead of treating it like a crash diet. My dad did a lot of crash dieting when I was a kid - he would lose 100 pounds on a shake diet and then start eating again and put it all back. The point is moderation, not completely depriving yourself like a crash diet. Start making small changes and those are easier to stick with. I lost so much weight with no soda alone that my doctor thought I was crash dieting, but I had just altered my diet. I would start making small changes and believe in yourself. You know you got this.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    I strongly urge you not to postpone because of your weight. For medical reasons, I’m not at my ideal weight either. So I do totally get how it can make you feel really uncomfortable being the center of attention. But you deserve happiness. You deserve to start your marriage when you’re ready as a couple and you deserve to accept yourself. Your FS and your guests all love you and they will only be seeing how beautiful you look and how in love you are. Don’t wait for something that may never come, it’s not fair to either of you.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super March 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    I might be biased but I'd wait to get married. I lost 90lbs when I was in HS. I totally understand not wanting to have a wedding when you aren't happy with yourself. Why would you want people looking at you if you don't even like what you see?! I get it! You deserve to feel beautiful and enjoy your wedding. My fear is, you won't and this will be a lifetime regret with photos that you hate. My advice, stop telling yourself it may not happen. You can make it happen. Start with smaller goals. 100lbs seems never ending. Go for 10...then 20...then 40. You WILL get there. Honestly, I'd have a courthouse wedding now and then maybe a "wedding celebration" later with a vow renewal and a little reception. Even a few years later would be fine. Then you can celebrate your marriage and your rocking body!
    • Reply
  • Suzie
    Super October 2021
    Suzie ·
    • Flag

    Remember that your worth is not based on your weight or size. As you said, your fiancé loves you for who you are. I also am not happy with my size, but I personally would not postpone my wedding for it. I joined Weight Watchers in November and have already lost 28 pounds. Rather than be down on yourself and push things off, commit yourself to healthier choices and exercise. That’s the first step. There will always be some excuse, some stress, some new step in life... Ignore that inner voice, and continue on as planned!

    • Reply
  • Gina
    Savvy October 2020
    Gina ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I love you guys. Thank you so much for your comments. It means the world. ❤️
    • Reply
  • plangalCG
    VIP May 2018
    plangalCG ·
    • Flag
    I am firmly of the opinion that you should never wait on your weight. I did for years...and all it resulted in was me not liking myself. You are who you are now, work on loving yourself. And, I don’t think it matters. This is one day in your whole life together.
    • Reply
  • Melissa
    Beginner May 2021
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    I have been using Noom and I love it. It’s teaching me how to take care of myself and love eating healthy and make choices that are good for me. Once your lifestyle changes to a healthy lifestyle, you will glow no matter what you weigh.
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    If it’s going to truly affect how you feel on your wedding day, then I would totally postpone the date and push it out a year. You definitely want to be comfortable, feel great that day and wear a genuine smile.


    As for weight loss, I’d really suggest Weight Watchers. It’s a lifestyle change and also changes your mindset on proper, heathy portions and ways to eat. The best part is that it’s not a fad, you get to eat normal food (just healthier choices and better portions) and you get support via meetings and and an app with lots of info, meal ideas and message boards (just like this one). But most of all... it works!
    • Reply
  • Cortney
    Devoted August 2020
    Cortney ·
    • Flag
    I am also not happy about gaining about 40 lbs in the past maybe 6 years. My fiancé didn’t know me at my best weight. One night, in frustration, I even told him I wasn’t sure about marrying him if I couldn’t lose weight and that did NOT go over well. He said the same as some above - it’s about the marriage not the weight. But I want to feel good about myself in front of 150+ people. So now I have <6 months to do something about it. I’ve done it before, it’s not easy. But have the mindset that you can do it. And the dress can be altered.
    👍
    • Reply
  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
    • Flag
    Ah. I hate my uterus too. We're on much better terms now that she's been evicted.
    You're not fat. You're gorgeous and you did what you needed to do to keep yourself healthy.
    Do what makes you happy, but your weight doesn't define your beauty.
    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    I agree with all the above that are saying do not postpone. If you aren’t happy with yourself that’s deeper than your weight. Your fiancé loves you for who you are, not the way you look. I’m sure he is so proud of you for fighting to beat cancer! That’s huge! Life is short, don’t postpone it. Work on making some small changes that will help you love yourself inside more and the rest will follow. I’m sure your fiancé thinks you are beautiful so you should too.
    • Reply
  • L
    Super October 2020
    Leslie ·
    • Flag

    I’m a big girl too. I have lost about 50 pounds in the last year but I will tell you it’s not for the wedding. I’m 60 years old and want to be able to move better. Yes it’s an extra bonus that I will look a little better but I won’t be thin. You can’t put your life on hold so you look a certain way in pictures. My wedding dress will be a plus size. And I will look awesome because the love of my life will see love me no matter what. When you lose your weight you can renew you vows and have a new reason to celebrate! (I’ve lost weight on the other WW)

    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    I am in the same boat. I am hoping to lose 50+ lbs before our wedding (not officially this year but hoping). All you can do is your best and remember your weight isn’t everything and you can always lose more after!
    • Reply
  • Piperlynn
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Piperlynn ·
    • Flag
    As an ovarian and cervical cancer survivor I understand your struggle but you love this person and you want your life to be there life for as long as you have left in this world don't waste that time because you feel like you're heavy. You're exactly who they want and what they need in this world to be happy, you don't need to be anything different. Start your life together as planned don't postpone your wedding.
    • Reply
  • T
    Just Said Yes March 2020
    Tamara ·
    • Flag
    You can totally kick your addiction and lose plenty of weight and feel better by your wedding. If course we always want perfection, but we can’t not live our lives unless we achieve it. Any progress you make is going to make you feel great! I went through this, as well. I started doing keto a month ago and I’ve already lost 12 lbs and had to have my dress taken it, and that felt great! You just have to withdrawal from sugar and carbs by following the keto diet in combination with intermittent fasting. I usually eat one meal a day, dinner, because it’s easier when I’m busy during the day (my eating period is 1pm-9pm, so I could have lunch and dinner if I want). It will suck for maybe two weeks and then it gets so much easier. Make sure to meal prep or else you’ll have a harder time saying no to carbs... You can do it!
    • Reply
  • M
    Beginner August 2020
    Meaghan ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    This is spot on advice
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    You are beautiful and loved just the way you are, I recommend not putting off the wedding. I wanted to lose weight too and am doing weight watchers and love it. I have lost 13 pounds in a month and a half. It teaches you portion size and what to eat. I have no restrictions and eat what I want. I bought the app and recipe book and it was well worth it. My fiance is a police officer and I went through the academy with him. All they think about it police. Just remember you are beautiful just the way you are!
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    First of all judging by your icon photo you are gorgeous and he wouldn’t marry you if he thought you were a fat cow. The feelings you’re feeling is what almost EVERY bride feels no matter how fat or skinny they are. I DO NOT think you should postpone your wedding. Think about it.... could you imagine if you postponed just to lose a few pounds and then have some major financial ordeal happen which would force you to postpone again?? I think you should stick to your plan. Just remember HE LOVES YOU AND HE THINKS YOURE GORGEOUS! Trust me!!!! Once you get your dress and hair and make up on and you get all your jewelry on you are going to feel amazing! ♥️ We’re all here for you and do us your FH!
    • Reply

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