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Because I Said So
Super September 2010

I'm doing some research on the ceremony processional

Because I Said So, on May 5, 2010 at 12:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

Hi everyone, I'm working on our ceremony with our officiant and also thought I'd work out the processional while I'm at it. It's basically just 3 attendants and then me and my Dad. I know the groom's mother is seated first and then my mother. Is that the point when the groom and groomsmen enter the scene and line up? Or do they go up first and then the mothers are seated? How are you doing it for your weddings?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Ed Spencer, on May 8, 2010 at 4:50 PM
  • Ed Spencer
    Ed Spencer ·
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    Groom and officiant are in place when the mothers are seated.

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    Groomsmen would also be in place unless they're escorting in the bridesmaids or acting as ushers (double duty). In which case, they would seat them, walk to the rear, and then come to the front down the side to take their place.

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    Ushers stand at the rear after escorting the mother/grandmother.

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    But this is the 'quick' response. There are variations for different cultures, religions, etc that may change this. For example, in a Jewish wedding the mother AND father give the bride away/escort her down the aisle so she wouldn't be 'seated'.

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    I'd talk with the officiant for specifics, and if you have a cultural or religious preference I'd take that into account.

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  • Because I Said So
    Super September 2010
    Because I Said So ·
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    Thanks MM, but our officiant isn't really running the show. It's an outdoor ceremony so I get to call the shots myself Smiley winking The officiant isn't offiliated with the venue, she actually lives 3000 miles away.

    The best man is escorting my mother, so it would be weird to have the groom and officiant in place before the mothers are seated, and then have the groomsmen fill in after my mom's seated, and then the attendants begin process-ing. The processional doesn't truly begin until after the mothers are seated, so once they're seated and the guys are in place, the music changes and the attendants start walking. Then it changes again for me and my Dad. I guess that's the only way it could work out unless you have another idea?

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  • Bri-guy's Gal
    Devoted September 2010
    Bri-guy's Gal ·
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    We are having an outdoor wedding and this is how I am doing it. My brother (groommaid) is seating my mother, then going back to escort. My FH is seating his mother, then going to stand at the altar area. The officiant will come in next. Then the groommaid and maidman (FH sister) will walk, then the bridesmaid and groomsman, then the best man/maid of honor. Then FG/RB, and finally my dad and I.

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  • Ed Spencer
    Ed Spencer ·
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    Normally, the groom, officiant, and groomsmen enter just before the mothers are seated. They typically come from the 'side' because they aren't 'with' the bride beforehand.

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    When we have the groomsmen escorting people in (as ushers) or bringing the mothers to their seats, we've had them 'fill in' afterwards, which might be an issue for you. We've also had them escort the bridesmaids - which is a little different from some traditional etiquette, but it can work - as long as they don't have to run to get in place. Since the BM is the last to escort someone in, he should have plenty of time.

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    The mother's entrance is often called the 'pre-processional' and there is sometimes a slight change in music at that point - normally to 'honor' the person.

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    But if you like, feel free to give us a call, and we can talk about it. Evenings are normally best, but just let us know. And no, there's no charge. Smiley smile It sounds like there's quite a bit going on and it helps to see the whole picture.

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  • Ed Spencer
    Ed Spencer ·
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    If you get a chance, pop into your local bookstore and read the section called 'At the ceremony' in Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette. The section that covers this starts on pp 351 and covers Christian and Jewish traditions. They vary wildly between the two, and just because you're one religion or the other (or none) doesn't mean you can't borrow from one or the other.

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  • Kimmi
    Super May 2010
    Kimmi ·
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    We are actually doing it COMPLETELY wrong, but we like it.

    Our officiant

    FH's Best Man and Groomslady

    My FH escorting his mother

    My parents together

    My Maid of Honor and Groomsman

    Me walking by myself

    And everyone is walking in to the same song--no change for my entrance, although it goes from instrumental only to vocals at that point.

    If you check our Emily Posts' website or the Knot.com they will have traditional processional explanations.

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  • Beverly  Edwards
    Beverly Edwards ·
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    I don't plan the order for all the weddings, but in over 800 ceremonies, I have never seen the guys enter before the parents. Their seating is the signal to the guests that all is ready. They are the hosts/guests of honor. After that, it really doesn't matter....there are so many ways to process. Just if the the groom escorts his parent(s) someone should be there soon so he isn't standing alone for too long. The only commonality is that everyone should walk slowly! and the bride is last (with or without escort).

    RE: music; parents don't have to have a special song...they can just be seated during whatever prelude music is being played at the time, so brides don't have to sweat over choices. Kimmie's decision to have only one selection for the entire processional is actually the traditional way. Having more than one song started in the 80's or 90's to copy a movie or soap opera.

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  • Ed Spencer
    Ed Spencer ·
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    The music can be as complex or simple as you need it to be. If you can find it, a good book is 'Setting your wedding to music'. It has great rundowns on the different types of music and what should be used when. Be it traditional or modern, there are lots of options... and your planner or entertainment choice should be able to help you. Remember that the same piece of music can be played in diffferent ways so Canon in D can be 'light' when played on a harp, or rich and full of life when played by a full orchestra.

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    There are many traditions to the order they come in depending on the culture of the families. Order changes radically between just Christian and Jewish ceremonies. If you're lost the reference I made earlier can help point you in the right direction.

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