I'm bored and want to hear your "crazy aunt/cousin/grandma/etc." stories

Totally not wedding related because mine are, for the most part, deceased.

But my great-grandfather locked my great-grandmother in the attic of their house because she was mentally unstable (which was then passed down because my grandmother was a crazy bitch).

Mostly not wedding related, but definitely have crazy aunts invited.

At my sister's bat mitzvah, one of my dad's sisters got drunk and danced on the table. And at my sister's rehearsal dinner for her wedding, my dad's other sister got drunk, fell walking out of the restaurant, and launched into a monologue about her "big fat ass".

I love my family.

My crazy relatives aren't crazy fun, just crazy bitchy.

Although my grandmother apparently did throw a fit about the cake at the wedding. My sister said that after they were given their cake, my grandma kept saying "No. I want THE WEDDING CAKE. I want THEIR cake" and wouldn't let it go until she took a bit of my cousin's (from the other side of the family) cake.

We figured out later that she must have thought that the guests weren't being given the "wedding cake" somehow. I had 4 tiers, and each tier was a different flavor and I think she must have seen the coloring of the cake that we cut from and hers, being different flavor, was also a different color. -_-

Wedding related: I'm pretty sure FH's great-aunt is going to give us something weird like holiday knitted sweaters or a quilt for our wedding. She posted on FMIL's Facebook wall that she was already sitting down on her living room couch working on our present (can't really think of another crafty thing that someone could do while sitting down in the living room). Also, she clearly doesn't get Facebook, since FH and me and everyone else saw that post.

Almost-wedding related: When my (now late) grandparents celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary and my grandma's 65th birthday, my aunt said she'd bring a cake with "100" in candles (a 1, a 0 and a 0). Grandma told her not to. She did anyways, and my grandma grabbed the candles, threw them on the floor, then STOMPED ON THEM. I had never seen her even raise her voice at anyone, let alone stomp on something, so this completely shocked all of us. I still laugh to tears when I remember that.

I have crazy acquaintances lol.

I have a couple that I have not seen in almost two years attempting to force their way into my wedding. They keep asking for the date, then saying that they just want to attend the ceremony even though they have posted Facebook statuses in the past asking about who's having a party so they can come eat their food. This is not the venue honey lol

I have a good friend that isn't getting along with her mother because she took her to task over her life choices and now is threatening not to come to the wedding if I invite her Mom, which I consider a second Mom to me. Surprisingly, her mother called and said the same, I told them both to stay home if they couldn't get along or ignore each other for one day.

And finally, my fiancé's aunt, who we met once, has started dating and wants a plus one for her potential date. Oh, and my coworkers are saying that they don't want to attend the ceremony because that's reserved for family but they can't wait to attend my reception.

Crazy enough for you or did you want to hear about my bipolar great grandmother? LOL

@Christine: your grandma sounds awesome

Yes @Christine! Best grandma ever!

My grandpa worked for Pepsi cleaning the factory equipment. he used to steal the empty bags of aspartame (a concentrated sweetener used in diet sodas; the stuff they make Equal out of) out of the trash and bring them home. He'd take the empty bags down the the basement, and he'd scrape them with a trowel to collect any remaining residue. He saved the accumulated powder and then would give it to people.

My family has game nights sometimes, and one night we were playing cards against humanity and got my grandma to play... funniest thing ever. she got a card that said something along the lines of "a big dick" and she said that no problem but wouldn't say out loud "masturbation" we were all laughing so hard. a great memory i will never forget.

My grandma is a little nuts.

At my high school graduation we did a rose ceremony where we had 3 roses to give away to someone special. I gave them to DH, my mom and my older sister. My grandma was so pissed she didn't get one that she left early.

I invited grandma to our wedding and she was talking with my sister about how excited she is and how much she wants to be escorted down the aisle. We hadn't been planning on it, but I figured, sure why not, so she doesn't pout and leave. She was a no show...

A few months ago I posted about my grandmother ordering a wedding dress to wear for my wedding - she initially ordered an ivory, floor length "matronly wedding dress" (was how my aunt described it) from DB. She proclaimed she had to be at the wedding to "represent all the dead grandmothers" since she was the only one left. We finally had to tell her how inappropriate she was going to be/look and she told me to let her do what she wanted. I put my foot down (she would embarrass and upset FH's family if she came storming in ranting about the dead) so now she is apparently going to order the same gown but in plum. She is going to look like Molly Brown just stepping off the Titanic I am sure - she will be 100% overdressed for an outdoor wedding.

I'm on the fence about inviting some of my family members on my dad's side. Him and his brother went through a falling out some years ago and my "aunt" disliked my family ever since. She attends family holidays but shows up hours late, eats, and leaves and doesn't ever contribute anything. She also would get all upset when my cousin and I would hang out and her daughter wasn't included (even though we also invited her daughter but she never wanted to join). My dad and his brother have since made up and they are now friendly with each other but my aunt still acts like she wants nothing to do with us. My cousin invited them to her shower and they did not RSVP or attend and they were also invited to her wedding but again they couldn't even bother to attend let alone RSVP no and they did not RSVP to my college graduation party or engagement party and they didn't show up then either. It's fine if they can't come but just simply letting us know that they can't is better than not acknowledging it. I don't know whether to invite them to my wedding or not because it's probably just a waste of an invitation and postage and we could invite someone else by taking them off the guest list. I'm afraid though that if they are not invited my aunt will throw a fit and say we are excluding them.

Oh, I've got a crazy relative story! my mom and her sister's family all fell out of touch when my grandparents died - long story. I started talking to a cousin I had been close to little by little. he was invited to the wedding last year but couldn't come. :/ I live across country, lots of things.

anyway, there is now talk about a family get together that another cousin is pushing to have, back in my home state. if it comes about, and theres a good air fare sale going on, I was looking to maybe go. see some old friends, that kind of thing.

last time I spoke to the one cousin, he asked me about the get together, then he went on to ask me if hubby and I would have a family wedding ceremony since everyone missed out.

huh!? I'm not against the idea, and sure, putting on a wedding dress again would be fun, but this one left me feeling a bit taken aback.

some of us had showers to make the families happy, looks like I could be looking at another wedding/renewal/handfasting.... wouldn't even know waht to call it- wonder if I could get someone else to make the cake? no, I would not look to plan another wedding all over again, if we did this it would just be a small ceremony with the family. I'd let them plan the party stuff! I already put in my time with all that

My Aunt was at my cousins wedding and the zipper had broken on her dress... so apparently she was out of time and was planning to ask my mom to help her with it before the ceremony. Well she forgot, and then got drunk and instead of quietly getting it fixed off to the side. Yelled at my mom to help her in the middle of the FOB speech and then took off the jacket she was wearing and made the dress fall down and flashed everyone..... That is what I am looking forward to at my wedding... yay family....

Also GrayCat ever time I see a reference to the story about your grandmother I start giggling. I know its not really funny, but in alot of ways it is so ridiculous that it is funny!

My grandma and aunts are annoying! They called my mom to complain about me not allowing my aunts' grandchildren at the wedding. They even suggested me getting a cheaper venue and cut corners in other places so they can bring their grandkids....when my mom said no because FH AND I are the ONLY ones paying for the wedding they got mad and called me conceited. They can all stay home on 8/15 IDGAF!

Here's my story. There is a particular dirty joke I've known since before I even understood it ("What's the difference between parsley and pussy? No one eats parsley!"). well, at my wedding, while I was dancing with my 88 year old great uncle, he tells me that joke. I decided to play along and said, "I don't know, Dan-- what's the difference?" Well, he told me "no one eats pussy"! I laughed SO hard! And then his wife overheard and scolded him for telling 'a joke like that at a wedding!"

FMP you know why they want to bring the kids so badly- the kids are probably such a handful they can't get a sitter!

Matt: don't people realize that little to no one even notices when someone pouts? lol

Matt. Sounds like age just needs to grow up. It's sad when people have to make it all about them

StitchingBride - The grankids live with their parents and there's like 20 of them! No fucking way! I haven't met some of them. I don't see or talk to them. I don't even know some of their names! Lol If they don't have a babysitter they can stay home.....weird cause again they live with their parents which are my cousins.