I'm afraid that my wedding will be a disaster

People will show up. Just have plenty of food and drink and good music and those who do come will have a good time.

If no one does show up, which is not likely to happen, you'll still get married - so it's still win-win.

That's a logical fear, and I think we've all had it at times! As long as you're guest focused and you don't have the attitude it's my wedding, so whatever I want goes you'll be fine!

When's the wedding? I'm on my phone and can't see

May 2016. So you have plenty of time to either freak out and get an ulcer, or take things slowly and enjoy the process.

Relax. As you plan and get closer to your wedding, you'll see it coming together.

This was/has been my biggest fear! People not showing up, or the flow of my wedding being erratic and nobody having a good time. I still fear this to some extent. However, this is why I decided to have a long engagement! And, it looks like you too have plenty of time to plan accordingly, so you are alright! I am already feeling better about things because I have some of the major stuff out of the way, like our officiant, venue, dj & caterer, and I just found my dress this past Monday, she's all paid off, I am just waiting for her to come in in 6 months. There is plenty more to do, that is for sure, but maybe once you start crossing things off your list you will feel a little more at ease. As for people not showing up, I've just had to have a mental talk with myself that if 5 ppl show up those are 5 ppl who are truly happy for us and that is enough for me. We have a guest list of 123 ppl. I would be happy if 75 ppl showed up. But if its only 45-50 that would be great too. I am going to be so happy that day that I married the man who I have loved for a very long time, that I am not going to let the guest attendance dictate my happiness or fears! You have plenty of time to plan a beautiful wedding.

I have the same fear. I think it's normal.

Just remember why you're getting married in the first place. I'm sure things will be great!

I think everyone feels like this to some degree. I am worried about people (FSIL and FFIL, my cousin) acting like aholes and making a scene, things not matching and people not showing up. I also worry about my father and aunt being well enough to attend, AND enjoy themselves. Both are in pretty bad health. I decided that if my father cannot walk down the aisle my brother will push him in a wheelchair and both will walk with me. He is doing ok now ,but you never know with him being sick.

The secret is to have someone else worrying about this at the time of the wedding. You focus on your wedding and really enjoy the moment, while your bridesmaid or friend or planner takes care of the last minute chaos.

I think this is every brides fear. I have it as well. However, FH made me feel much better when he said, "Whether 1 guest or every guest shows up, we are and will be husband and wife." The fear is not as prevalent.

My mom had me on edge for months with her constant proclaiming that no one will come, the ones who do come do not really want to be there, and everyone will leave after they eat. I finally had to get in her face about it. 80% of the guest list is FH's friends and family - so even if the 30 or so people from my family crap out and leave/don't show, there will be 100 people there for FH. I stopped worrying about it, I am getting married and I will be happy for those who choose to participate.

I think it is a lot of time, effort, and money into a event and it is totally reasonable to be freaked out that it might not all come together but you have sooo much time to start to see how it might. I am a month out and I still am a bit worried that things won't work out the way I want them to but honestly there is only so much you can control.

Make sure you have vendors you can trust. Ask friends and family to help that you know will do what you want. Invite those you love and those that love you and regardless of how things will go down you will feel that love!

I went to a wedding a bit ago that there were a few issues during the ceremony but honestly it just showed the humanity of it all and I think everyone loved those getting married so much that it didn't feel like a bad situation it felt like laughter and love oozing all over the place. I think the more you strive for perfection little issues seem more like issues...

@GrayCatVintage - are we related, are you my long lost sister or something? Haha, because it sounds like we have the same exact mother/family dynamic with FH's family LOL!!!! When I first told my mother that we decided to not have that destination or small city hall wedding, that I was going all the way with a traditional wedding, those were her exact words: Aunt So-and-So won't come, this one won't come, this one will RSVP yes, and not show. Oooooh, it was nerve-wracking. But in the end, I tuned her out, and realized that FH has some really wonderful supportive family and extended family, I have a lot of good friends, if I have 0, 1, 5, or 20 family members not show it will not go noticed. We are still going to enjoy the day with the people who do show. I have officially stopped worrying about it too. So glad I did because I am really enjoying planning now!

@Rhonda: I do not have a huge list of friends like FH and several of my family members are elderly and live out of town. But guess what, most of them have already made travel arrangements and are coming! I just had to sit my mom down and tell her that it will be great even if Uncle John and Aunt Bernice can't come. We are also having the ceremony at 2:00 so the elders can come, enjoy themselves, I can visit, and they can get going by nightfall. These mom's of ours can be so dramatic sometimes

I can honestly say I wasn't worried about people not showing up. Maybe because I'm older and so my close friends have been there for me for years. As long as 10 specific people were there, I would it be ok. I knew they would show up, and they did.

Most of the people I invited were done because I enjoy their company, not that I couldn't get married without them present. I was getting married regardless of who showed up. And if they wanted to leave early - well, they could. I wasn't concerned with having people staying until the very end because I was realistic - my venue was an hour outside of the city, so I knew people would be leaving when they had to.

Just remember - you can't control people. If they leave after dinner, at least they were there to support you during the ceremony and enjoy some time afterwards. Maybe they don't dance. Maybe they don't like crowds. Maybe they really wanted to watch something on tv - and prefer that to dancing Maybe they had to pay for a babysitter. Maybe they had to get up really early the next morning for a family thing. One of my best friends left immediately after the ceremony because she was having gastric bypass surgery the following weak and was on a liquid diet - and she didn't want to be around the food. I understood, and I'm still her MOH in her wedding next month.

I have never even thought about this. People LOVE weddings! If you plan it....they will come.

Please don't spend a year and a half like this. Put your plans in place, take good advice and know that you can't control people's behavior. Keep your guest list to the people that love you and care about you and it'll be fine.

Set the bar low for your expectations and you won't be disappointed. Mine was "as long as I'm married at the end, and most people had fun, it was a good wedding."

Also, I'm a therapist, so I'd like to point out that I *highly* doubt that 'nothing you plan ever works out.' I expect, if you stop and think about it, you can think of at least one thing that did. Even if it's just meeting a friend for coffee.

Take care and relax!

I've been having frequent nightmares like this. I think it helps if I consistently remind myself why I'm doing this in the first place. You have so much time to sort everything out.

I used to have nightmares about this. I'm still this insecure at times, even at 49, I admit it. Now that the date is closer, I have no worries. They're all coming, even people I didn't think would want to. I'm excited and my brain spins with the overwhelming emotion of all of those people who love me so much that they are travelling great distances and making great sacrifices to join me as I get married to FH. It's awesome, and overwhelming at the same time. Those who care, will come. Those who don't come, don't matter.