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J
Just Said Yes October 2022

If we're paying for everything else, do we need an open bar?

Jack, on April 25, 2022 at 5:05 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 26

We have two guests on the list that will have to fly in, so they have that expense (and one of them is religiously sober) but otherwise, we're covering everything. We're paying for rooms for all of our guests for the weekend, dinner the whole weekend, breakfast the whole weekend, even fountain...
We have two guests on the list that will have to fly in, so they have that expense (and one of them is religiously sober) but otherwise, we're covering everything. We're paying for rooms for all of our guests for the weekend, dinner the whole weekend, breakfast the whole weekend, even fountain beverages the whole weekend so we are providing something to drink for free, just not alcohol. Our venue has a pub inside the place, so it isn't even a "cash" bar either, the drinks just get charged to the room. Compared to other weddings I've been too where I've had to pay for my other meals and my hotel room cost, am I wrong to think we're providing enough that it isn't too much to ask that if you really NEED alcohol, you pay for it yourself?
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26 Comments

  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Practically speaking, it's inconvenient. I'd rather open up my purse to put down a card for check-in to a hotel I'm paying for, then count enough cash to fit in my tiny evening purse to preplan how (& how much) I will drink at a wedding in said venue. Most persons used to open bars and well-hosted events do not like to count "bills" before going out. You may catch your guests by surprise & they may leave early.
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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Agree with this. Many weddings are dry for one reason or another and it doesn’t mean the couple is poor hosts and guests still enjoy themselves. There is no need whatsoever to announce the alcohol situation beforehand. If someone truly can’t enjoy themselves and be happy for the couple without alcohol for 4-6 hours, they have bigger issues to deal with on their own time. I’m curious: do these same people drink on the job? Because it’s the same time frame.
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  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    I would certainly prefer to have my lodging and airfare covered and pay for drinks, but I usually expect to pay for lodging and airfare and the host covers the drinks. For better or worse, etiquette is based, in part, on expectations. Have you already told these guests you'd cover the expenses you mentioned? If they haven't been told then I'd consider finding a way to have them foot the lodging bill and put that money towards a bar option, even if it's just beer and wine. If the guests have already been informed that you'd be covering everything, then your best options would either be to pay for a bar option (beer and wine only are usually the cheapest option), or opt for a "dry" wedding where guests have the option to walk over to the bar if they choose but it's not something you advertise.

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  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    What are you implying about the poster's guests? They drink on the job? This Board is getting rude AF.
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  • Cece
    Master October 2023
    Cece ·
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    Right?! What a super strange, presumptuous and rude thing to say.
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  • Kelly
    Super October 2023
    Kelly ·
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    I agree with having a dry wedding. You're paying for so much already and alcohol isn't a necessity.

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