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Devoted September 2021

Ideas for making my sister “feel included”

Rebecca, on July 29, 2019 at 7:44 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5

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My sister and I aren’t super close, and my FH doesn’t have a lot of close guy friends (he moved to Chicago from LA), so we opted for me to have my dad’s two closest friends as my attendants (he passed away three years ago) and my FH’s sister’s as his. I am having my uncle walk me down the aisle (because my mom didn’t want to). My mother is upset because I’m not having my sister walk me down the aisle because “she looks just like him with her hair and a tux.” My sister and I are not close and she is constantly getting angry at me for mentioning things that unknowingly offend her. That being said, I feel that I need to find a concrete way to incorporate my sister so as not to secretly upset her and to calm my mother. Ideas?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Kelly, on July 30, 2019 at 7:28 AM

Master January 2021
Andrea · on July 29, 2019 at 8:21 PM
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That seems tough. Honestly, if you're not close with her and don't have a relationship with her, I really would have a hard time finding something to suggest here. I'm assuming you don't want to make her a bridesmaid? Or maybe she might want to do a reading at your ceremony? It would be good to open the floor to discussion with her, and see what she would like to do, or what she would feel comfortable with doing. It's nice you want to include her in something, despite you both not being as close as you may like.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 29, 2019 at 8:32 PM
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My brother wasn't a groomsman at mine but I had him walk in the processional with his wife before my parents walked. Sort of my way of recognizing him.
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on July 30, 2019 at 7:20 AM
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Welcome to the WeddingWire community Rebecca!!
Perhaps you could ask your sister would she be comfortable doing a reading or saying a poem at your ceremony? It would be a lovely gesture to ask her to be involved in your ceremony in this way.
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
Clíodhna · on July 30, 2019 at 7:23 AM
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Welcome to the WeddingWire community, Rebecca!
I’m sorry to hear of these issues you’ve been having with your mom.
As Andrea mentioned, would you consider speaking with your sister about how you would love to have her involved in the wedding someway and see what would she be comfortable doing? You could have a few ideas prepared in case she isn’t sure. Have an open and honest discussion. She may be more comfortable not being a part of the wedding, and that’s totally ok. At least if that’s the case, you’ve spoken directly with her and involved her in the decision.
I like the idea of having her read a passage or a poem at the wedding ceremony. You could also get her a corsage with your wedding flowers to wear.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 30, 2019 at 7:28 AM
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She could do a reading, walk your mother down the isle, after the ceremony you could assign her to make sure guests sign the guest book. If she does a bunch of smaller things it'll probably be just as fine.
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