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VIP June 2015

I wish I can turn back time and do-over my wedding...

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C & K, on June 28, 2015 at 9:24 AM

It's been a week and a day since our wedding, and I still can't get over the mishaps that occurred on what was supposed to be our perfect day. I posted a BAM (https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/bam-non-pro-pics-for-now/ccc88a8f878acabf.html) and briefly described a few of the mishaps, but I didn't mention the one that bothers me most. My own mother didn't show up at the ceremony. She made herself sick two nights before the wedding by excessively drinking on an empty stomach and no sleep, all because she wanted my brother and sister's attention (one is out of state, the other overseas). She does this every time one or the other comes home. It really hurt and disappointed me, especially when we all took family photos and my mother was missing. Yet, she was well enough to show up at the reception, only to have a miserable look on her face the whole time (and I don't mean miserable as in sick). Her negativity was highly noticeable by people. It was embarrassing and very upsetting.

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Master November 2015
Mrs. Lav · on June 29, 2015 at 8:34 AM
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Hey, my parents changed the locks on their house this weekend so I couldn't get in (even though I have some stuff there that they said they wanted out). Meanwhile, my mom cries that I didn't come over for Mother's Day (we're not really speaking) to get sympathy from other people, even though she's essentially SHUT OFF HER HOME TO ME. Parent drama is no fun. (Up in the air whether or not they'll be at the wedding-- we sent a Save the Date.)

Were your in laws there? I'm so lucky that I can share my life with my FILs-- they've welcomed me into their family. I'm trying to focus on the fact that there are people in my life that love me, even if some of my blood relatives are toxic. I'm sure you shared your day with lots of people who love you! It stinks, but try to focus on the positive.
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VIP June 2015
C & K · on June 29, 2015 at 8:51 AM
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I'm taking it day by day. It's like a roller coaster with my mother. One minute she's up, the next she's down. I really think she's bipolar. She refuses to seek help because she doesn't want to be labeled as crazy, and she doesn't like how medications make her feel (she was on antidepressants before). It's been like the roles of parent and child has been reversed, like I'm the parent and she's the child. I love my mother, and I'll never leave her side. But, I'm starting to get burnt out. Talking with you ladies has helped. I also have a BA in psychology, which helps me cope with my dysfunctional family.
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Dedicated July 2015
MrsMaar2B · on June 29, 2015 at 9:29 AM
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I saw your BAM and I thought, wow....how beautiful! I'm so sorry to hear that there were things going on that were beyond your control. That's just it though - it was beyond your control. You have your DH and your beautiful kids and you have amazeballs photos to commemorate the day. I think that like a lot of our friends have said - we make this awesome picture in our head of what we want the day to be - we get our expectations up. Though, in your case doll, I feel as though you had pretty reasonable expectations. It is her loss. Hugs!
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VIP June 2015
C & K · on June 29, 2015 at 12:46 PM
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Thank you all for your kind words. It means a lot to hear all these positive reassurances. The more positive feedback I hear about the wedding, the better I feel that my guests were happy and taken cared of. My mother's negativity didn't brush on many of my guests. Only close family who attended noticed. I'm such a perfectionist though, that because not everything went as planned, it just bugs me and sticks for a while. I know I can't change my mother, nor anybody else who doesn't want to change. I've learned to come to terms with it.
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