I want to write our vows and he doesn't!

Do something intimate at the hotel room. Say your vows to him there or write them in a love letter.

I think if you do different vows his will stick out. Maybe he is nervous in front of crowds. No reason to put him on the spot. and if you do a "speech" he might feel pressured to do one, and again, might feel uncomfortable doing so.

I think you should research vows together, and piece together 2 or 3 to make them personal.

(I have about 8 you can look at)

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/vows-anyone-have-any-examples-they-can-share/a95ce4dc927e7cf7.html

You can write him something privately. It doesn't have to be in front of everyone. My FH and I decided that writing out own vows was just one added stresser we didn't need. (And we've been at two weddings now where at least one of the two has forgotten to bring it... and then there's just a big chance for messing up.) Your FH might be afraid of not writing something as good and looking bad - maybe he'd be okay with writing you something privately too.

How about write him a love letter which during the ceremony could be part of the reading and then go along with him and say the traditional vows?

I wanted to the do the same thing, and FH put his foot down. Instead, we decided to write each other short letters that we would read in private prior to the ceremony.

My FI wants us to write our own vows, I like Meghan B idea.

Exchanging love letters is a great idea. I had wanted us to write our vows too, but I'm a writer; he's not. I didn't have the heart to insist on putting that extra pressure on him.

Thanks so much for the ideas!

DS wanted to do personal vows, but the idea made my knees knock together. I already knew I was going to be a nervous wreck and didn't want added pressure. Instead he said his vows in our suite as we were getting ready for bed.

I think it is a great idea to do something privately. I wouldn't try to force him into doing the personal vows.

One wedding reception I attended had the bride reading a poem out loud to the guests. She wrote it for the groom and had it nicely framed. It was nice to hear her say how she felt, but afterward he didn't have anything for her and it just seemed a bit awkward. So I guess it was a bit weird for all of the guests, but she didn't care. I am sure you could do a small toast at the reception, but your FH may feel like he is obligated to do the same for you and he may not want to do that either.