I want to elope because my family is a bunch of _________

Oh honey I am so sorry! I cant imagine how horrible it all feels for you.

THis is my opinion. You plan your wedding. Your way. Its yours and your FH's day. No one elses. Send your invites. Whoever comes great whoever dont well forget them.

When you day comes Im sure you wont be thinking about anyone else but you and your husband! Nothing else will matter but the 2 of you.

I pray that it all gets better for you soon.

Double post

I HAVE A SIMILAIR ISSUES. YOU GOTTA SMILE AND DO WHAT YOU WANT. IF ITS TO ELOPE AND HAVE YOUR FEW BEST FRIENDS THERE, THEN MAYBE THATS SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT. YOU CAN DO A CLASSY/FUN WEDDING IN VEGAS AND JUST HAVE A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE THERE (EX MOM SISTER FRIENDS, YOUR FIANCE'S FAM/FRIENDS) IF ANYONE, FRIENDS OR FAMILY ARE NOT ADULT ENOUGH TO LET YOU HAVE YOUR WONDERFUL DAY, THEN THEY DONT DESERVE TO BE THERE.

It's not about them it's about you. They can either suck it up or not go. You can not please everyone 100 % of the time. They say that weddings can sometimes bring families back together.... When my brother got married I saw my Father whom I hadn't seen in 12+ years. It was hard for my family to have them there but in the end everyone who didn't care for him ignored him there were a few snarky remarks but it was to be expected. While I haven't seen him in another 5 years I too am inviting him to my wedding. Clearly he will not be sitting at the table with the people who dislike him, but that is why we get to decide seating arrangements. It is you and your future husband's day. Don't let a family feud get in the way! *steps off her soap box*

I'm a worry wart, I worry about everything, my FH says that because my sign is cancer and its part of who I am. I want to have a great time at my wedding, and I want my family to have a great time.. Its because of them that I am the person that I am today... My family all of them had a huge part of my upbringing, and I dont want to leave any of them out... That being said, I have told them any trouble and I will not hesitate to throw them out of the wedding. I didnt really tell my FH what was going on, but then i started to have nightmares about the whole situation and woke up screaming next to him and I had to let him help me. Im a strong person, and I dont like to feel week. But when i had the nightmare about my unlce throwing my cake at my mom! I just want it all to stop.. Any one know a great family shrink lol

Have a small thing at your fave restaurant with your closest friends. Lots of restaurants have a room in the back for a private function, suits, ties, and cocktail dresses. Get a cake from the grocery store. Have a lovely time, then escape to a honeymoon with the money you saved. To hell with your deposits, it's worth it.

@ Jouselle, if this was say back in February, i would say hell to it and elope but, we have already put over 10k out there and its non refundable. We can not walk away from that amount of money. I dunno, I think that I just had to vent a little, because some times a person on the outside can help so much more then someone on the inside>

Okies, I hear ya. Just make sure that you surround yourself with happy on your wedding day.

I will remember that Thanks!

Tell your family ahead of time that, under no uncertain terms, they are to check their grievances with each other at the door, and that fighting or arguing will not be tolerated at your wedding. Asking that much for a few hours should not be too much. They can go back to tearing each other's hair out the next day.

Hire security to throw out anyone who causes trouble.

Have your best friends make a wall around you that day to keep the crazies away from you. Tell them you don't want to see or hear anything to ruin your good mood!

We will have a off duty police officer there, also, my bridal party makes up some of my family with the issues... I just hope they can all shut there mouths for once.... I have 246 days till the big day who knows what can happen tomorrow i just wish it would just end!

I have this same problem! its really horrible and I dont know about yours but my family started this huge a year ago and its still going and is getting worse. I wish I would have eloped or had a very small DT wedding or something so I wouldnt be dealing with all this now. But my wedding is a week away and im just praying everything will be alright. So from someone who has been there if you dont want to deal with the stress of it all (placing them at different tables at reception, if they will behave at the reception, and more) then just go somewhere beautiful with close friends, the family that you know will be good.

Don't stress. Take a step back and just chill. This is your day and they will have to deal with it. I would say hire some "bouncers". You told them how you want it and if they can't handle it either don't come or be thrown out if they can't be adults.

Nancy and Stacey have a great idea about hiring security or bouncers. We already hired 2 bouncers for ours. We have some unwanted guest that have said they would show up so we took care of that.

Try not to let them get to you. Try to enjoy the rest of your planning

It is your day. the hell with anybody else family..... ugh i know this o so well. tell them what you will no allow and keep it moving. not to be mean but sometimes family is your worst enemy

Dont stress it right now.. it MAY get better it may not..... it may just be.. they can behave for a few hours and if they cannot they can leave. Make it PERFECTLY clear that whatever their problems are , are NOT to be brought up at all..stay away from each other.... go home early, do what you must, dont SCREW up my day

I hear of brides worry about families acting out at their wedding, but I've never seen one come back and say that it actually happened. I think most people have enough common decency to put their differences aside for one day.

I suppose just keep them as separated as best as you can. Have neutral family members make sure that they stay calm during the day.

I have to agree with Peony....having done hundreds of weddings, I've really only seen families acting out maybe twice......

If they can't get their collective acts together to behave civilly, uninvite the fill their spaces with friends. Life it too short to put up with that crap.