I want to cancel

What happened hun. Maybe its time to take a step back and table wedding planning for a day or so. It can be over whelming but dont let it consume you. Take a breather. Find something else to occupy your thoughts and after a few days see if you still feel this way. If you do then approach the issue then.

Are you concerned that having the wedding you want will keep you from being able to afford somewhere nice?

Saving for a wedding should be totally separate from everyday bills and necessities. Have the wedding you can afford.

Deep breaths! Have a conversation with FH and figure out what's best for both of you.

I agree with the replies so far. Take a step away from the planning and talk to your FH. Both of you should be on the same page the type of wedding you want and your goals thereafter. Once this is established move forward in planning. Don't let the planning overwhelm you. Don't fall into the trap of a wedding is supposed to be this and that. Your wedding should be whatever YOU want it to be.

Thanks Alana, it's just time is so short and we signed all these contracts I want to just cancel. Our place should have been the most important. He lives at home and I live at home. But I don't want to get some while in the wall, I want a decent place. And his fam keep saying it will work out. That's only because it's not their wedding. My FH not saying anything. I never been this stress in my life. I thought everything was fine. But all the numbers are really hitting me. FH lost his job for about 2months. He's starting somewhere new this week. We don't have time. I wish I thought this thru.

Then just do simple. It's one day, there's no reason to go broke over one day. You can have an inexpensive but nice wedding. Let your FH know that it's stressing you out, he will understand and wants the best for you.

And his mom keep saying we can do it, no we can't they said they were paying and now all of a sudden aren't.If I knew that I wouldn't have signed the contracts she told me to sign. I'm such a fool. We should have thought about our living place before the rest

Just breathe.... everything will be beautiful and your vision . I was the same way and had to step back and breathe . I realized that the same expectations I have for my wedding my husband didn't and I realized it was okay. Don't think it's personal with you but some men or partners are very laid back , they will eventually come around . Wedding planning is a process, it's not meant for everyone . Just take some time from wedding planning and enjoy being engaged

Thanks everyone, you all are really a big help!!

Breathe sis Breathe. My FH lost his job for about a month too. I know how it is to have this plan and have to change due to finances. Take a day or two to breathe. Sit down on day 3 or 4 and crunch numbers and cut things where you can. Even if FH seems not to be worried sit him down and have a straight up 100 chat with him and tell him (write it out) this is what we have...this is what its gonna cost....I can't do this alone and if we don't get the help we need this will not happen and go from there. If that dont wake him up I dont know what will. I had this conversation with my FH. He got a full time and part time job

Hi Lianna, I'm going through the exact same thing. We are planning an elaborate wedding where we live which is across the country from my family. I don't have much help with the planning, and have also been going through a lot of stress from work. All this stress has added up and have made me kind of break down. If you ever need to talk or vent, I'm all ears!

Lianna, I understand. My brother had the most simplest wedding. At church with no bridesmaids or groomsmen. And downstairs was a cake with drinks to celebrate with those that came at the church then we had a big cook out at the house for all the family.

But out of all of that they hired a reasonable photographer and take some beautiful pictures!!

So I put down a deposit on a venue (thankfully it was only $100). I talked to vendors but asked them to contact me if anyone else wanted that date and I would give them the deposit right away. I live in a small town so they were ok with that. I had some backups just in case.

Then reality hit... this huge wedding was too much work. I don't have the time or the energy. It was really far out, I didn't want to wait an entire year just to put on a massive, expensive event. There were too many aspects to it- figuring out everything from table clothes to chair and table rentals to a DJ... it was too much. Way too much. I didn't even want it.

So, I decided that my $100 deposit was not worth my mental health and the massive amount of money I was going to have to save or take out in loans in order to cover everything. So I scrapped it... all of it. Found very inexpensive outfits for everyone, myself included. Decided to move my ceremony to my church- free since we are members. Asked my pastor to officiate- also free but we will be giving him $50 as a thank you gift. Moved the reception to a family resteraunt with a really nice, large party room. Ordered food in bulk- that was $600. Another $160 for drinks and about $200 for the tip. Found a small bakery with inexpensive wedding cake options. It was so much less expensive that I moved up the wedding to only 3 months away! My family just knew I had to be pregnant (spoiler, I"m not! They will believe me in several months when I'm not giving birth). Scaled my wedding budget back to $5,000, it honestly could have been less but I "treated myself" a few too many times on things I didn't need. I'm getting married in 7 days and I am SO thankful that I scrapped my old plan, it was too much, too expensive, and too stressful.

Good luck, do what is best for you!

I understand completely what you're going through. I have tremendous anxiety because the cost of a wedding is so high and we both feel we need to find a nice home. Budgeting for the wedding has been taking away money we need to buy a place since we both also live at home with our parents. It's insanely tough when you need to do both the house and the wedding within the same year. You and your FH just have to be very diligent and work as a team. My FH started noticing my anxiety about the money and he sold some of his things on offer up to try and get some extra money to put toward the wedding. That may be an option if you're short on cash or looking to put money away. If you have clothes with tags on it or any collectibles or things you don't use you could definitely try selling them on apps like offer up or let go.

I love that @alforev, my FH always tell me all the time we are a team! I think if he moved into a place before we got married I would have a peace of mind but like you said doing both in one year is so hard. But I love the idea of offer up; I will discuss with him.

Lianna, you and FH need to talk about what you want with no one else considered. And then stick to your guns. You can have a beautiful, intimate ceremony without spending a fortune. Best of luck to you.

I think it's really easy to get sucked in over your head and under the water, if you know what I mean. People come here, and go to pinterest and it seems like the whole world is having giant, expensive elaborate weddings, but that isn't the best plan for everyone.

Take a step back, really talk about what you want, lose that word 'vision', and make peace with plans that make sense for your future together.

Agree with PP...you certainly have a few days you can afford to just not think about the wedding at all/take a break. Then talk with your FH & regroup on what you both want/can afford.

You are not a fool...you are one of the smarter ones to be questioning things.

Great advice @celia!

I'm sorry, Lianna! I agree with PP's to take a few days off from planning or even thinking about the wedding. Then I think sitting down with FH and expressing your feelings and creating a budget for the apartment/house and the wedding will help put your mind at ease. It helps to see on paper what $$$ is needed for the house/apartment, and what you two can reasonably afford for the wedding. Once you two agree on a wedding budget, you can create a new vision based on that. And I think having your FH realize how much this stressing you will be really helpful. He will be able to calm some of your fears, and look out for you in the future if he sees signs that you may be starting to get really overwhelmed again.

I've been there too, and I'm not sure if this is applicable in your situation. But one thing that was really causing me stress and anxiety was having other people offer their opinions. So many people have a vision of what they think a wedding "should" be. People would ask me questions, I would answer, and they would give their two cents' worth on why that was right/wrong. I had to learn to get a lot more generic with my answers ("The planning is going really well! Thank you for asking. How was your weekend?") When people started to give unsolicited advice, I had to start saying, "FW and I are still discussing those details" or "Thank you for the suggestion. I will discuss it with FW and we will decide," and then change the subject. Again, not sure if this is part of what is causing you stress, but sometimes getting too many opinions can be overwhelming and make people feel like they HAVE to have this certain "vision."