i told the bride i can't come to her bachelorette party because I'm an alcoholic.

I agree with PP's who have said that this won't ruin the friendship unless this bride decides to end it. You did the best thing you could do for yourself and your health, and no one should ever, ever fault you for that. Your friend can be disappointed that you aren't attending, but a true friend wouldn't be mad at you, and should certainly never end the friendship over it. I'm so sorry that you're dealing with these feelings because with this battle, you should be able to lean on and confide in your closest friends, and instead your friend has chosen to make this about her. DO NOT blame yourself if this changes your friendship.

I've never been in your situation, but my grandfather died relatively young (early 60s) because of illnesses related to his alcoholism, and my step brother's life is out of control because he is most definitely an alcoholic who won't seek treatment. I wish my step brother was as brave as you.

Go to AA for sure. Keep trying different meetings until you find one that works for you. It helps.

I'm sorry that you're friend has reacted the way she did. I hope she comes around and realizes that you are doing what you need to do to be healthy (and yes, you absolutely did the right thing, don't doubt that for a second) and it has nothing to do with her personally. Good friends will love you and support your decision to be sober and admit that this is an issue to be tackled. If the friendship ends, it's not because of anything you did, it's because she couldn't put your own health before her own party.

I want to congratulate you on two weeks sober. I don't struggle with it personally, but I know that it's a very difficult thing to work with, and I hope you're surrounded by people who are supportive of you and that you find what works for you. Sending you lots of love

If you feel that attending the bachelorette party will effect your sobriety than I say don't attend. If you feel that you can attend without drinking I say go for it. If the bride is truly your friend she will be understanding and help you through your trials and tribulations.

Don't take risks because her lack of understanding pressures you. Please--don't take risks. Your sobriety is the only thing that can matter to you right now.

Other people have already said it, but I want to commend you for making a tough choice to protect you and your sobriety. My good friend married a wonderful man who is 9 years sober. Sometimes, we have parties and she comes alone because after 9 years, there are still days he doesn't feel safe being around alcohol. We make sure to spend sober time with him as well.

Weddings are hard. Everything feels bigger and more dramatic than it really is while you're planning. Hopefully your friend gets some space and time and can recognize that it is okay for her to be disappointed but also know that as your friend, she wants the best for you. If this ends your friendship, she is not the kind of friend that you need around you as you change your life for the better. That will suck, it will be hard, but it will be true if that is what happens.

You are being honest and truthful and that is all you can do and that is what will help support your sobriety in the long run. Good luck and know that people are pulling for you!

Congrats on your sobriety! Being able to identify problematic situations this early in recovery is a great sign of growth already and can say that most newly sober individuals probably don't have the same awareness. I know I didn't when I was in early recovery. I think you did the right thing. You cannot be there for your friend if you're off the wagon. I'm a huge believer in taking care of yourself first before anything else, even if you're a bridesmaid. If she is a true friend, she'll be understanding. I understand in her disappointment, however, I also believe that it is not obligatory for bridesmaids to do anything except suit up, show up on time and assist with reasonable tasks (help get dress on, show up on time to rehearsal, assist with errands if she needs it, etc.) to assist the bride a month or so before and the day of the wedding. Sobriety can really show who your true friends are, as those who are your true friends will be your cheerleader as you embark on this difficult, but rewarding journey. I personally haven't been through this exact situation, however, being sober has shown me that if my sobriety is at risk, nothing is more important than that, to be perfectly honest. Some might disagree with me and say it's all about the bride, but really, this is where you need to place yourself first. If this means the end of the friendship, which I hope it isn't, then I believe it for the best and you learned a lot about this woman and your friendship over time. I lost friends when I first got sober and it was really sad, but at the same time, it showed me that if they cannot support me during this tumultuous time in my life, then they don't deserve my support nor energy to be there for them. Again, many congrats and sending good vibes your way that this works out for you.

THIS!!!!!!!

Do whats important for you, you should not jeopardize your recovery to try and make someone else happy. What you're doing is very big and you should not be put in a position where you'll be surrounded by big drinking. You're doing nothing wrong, your friend should be more supportive.