I thought we wanted a small wedding...

Haha! Im having 37 including us. You have to draw a line in the sand and hold to it!

We are having the same issue!! It's so hard to figure out where to draw the line on who should or shouldn't be invited!

I said we would have about 100 people and we currently have 130. Ughh it so tough but you just have to put your foot down.

Fh and I wanted small too however I have a VERY large family and my grandma threw a fit when I told her we were considering not inviting some aunts uncles and cousins on my side but not his because his family is tiny in comparison. So everyone got added back to the list. We have three families that aren't related on the guest list and it still sits at 120.

Hold your ground, trust me.

At most I wanted 130. FMIL is trying to make me have 180. Compromised to tell her 140 (she's paying for her guests) and that's it. She won't come below 157.

Someone will always be offended. My guest list is only family. I had a friend recently ask me why he hasn't got his invitation and I explained that it's only family, he says "what the fuck dude, I've known you since elementary school" yea, and? I have friends that I've been close with since kindergarten that aren't invited. Family only means family only.

In my experience, the people who are upset that they weren't invited, didn't belong there in the first place. For example, the crazy cousin you haven't spoken to in 10 years but likes to stir up family drama.

Just keep it small. If it's a small wedding, people will understand. Not so much if you invite 400 people.

My cousin had a small wedding, under maybe 60 people at the very most. It was exactly what they wanted their wedding to be, and they had to step on a few toes to do it. They live within an hour of 90% of our family, and invited maybe 5% of them. No kids whatsoever (and there are a LOT of kids in the family), no 2nd cousins, nada. It was amazing. Some people were miffed, but they really did understand. If he hadn't invited me (and he is my favorite cousin), I would have been sad but fine. As long as you do it in circles or family/friends, people will get over it because it isn't personal. And if they don't get over it, they don't care about you like you thought.

I understand as I struggled with the guest list myself. My only advice is to make a list and stick to it. Avoid the temptation to alter the list once you have finalized it. No matter how "offended" anyone gets or how many times they ask "why didn't I get invited", stay true to your own visions of your wedding. If you don't, you will make yourself miserable in an attempt to make everyone else happy.

It is difficult to stand your ground, but you have a reason - the venue. Use that reason as much and as often as you can and people should understand. You can always throw a little celebration, get-together after the wedding has passed for people to mingle and see you two as the newly married couple.

Someone is always going to be miffed, but if your guest list is really, truly small, they'll get to understanding. I think most people know that weddings have gotten to be bloated, expensive propositions and not everyone can invite the near world. Make your list, check it twice and don't look back!

All of my cousins and some of my aunts and uncles (who are invited) are pissed they aren't/ their kids aren't invited. I have waaaayyyyy too big of a family. I think I totaled it up and just my side alone was around 130.

My parents are paying for the food and they were pissed for a really long time that we kept it at aunts/uncles only. Now they're pissed at how much the food is going to cost for 75 people. The moral is you just can't win with everybody so just do what you want!

Dont worry we are inviting 270 people and i'm still offending a bunch of people. life goes on

We wanted small, but when looking at a place that only allowed 20-30 we realized it wouldn't let us invite a few people who really meant a LOT to us...so instead we are having it at a more affordable venue, making it more "us" by having cool food trucks cater instead of a regular style caterer, a board game table at the venue, and having 60-75 people. We were going to have a party in the summer for my larger family that couldn't all be invited to the small venue, but now it is basically just going to be a wedding where everyone can come and it will be larger and still good.

We had to deal with this today. My list of friends and family was 26. My fiancé added on almost another 100. I only want 80 people, so we ended up cutting the list to 93. It sucks, but we have a budget.

Glad I'm not the only one struggling.

I'm going to have to cut the ones who I KNOW won't make it (out of state and broke) to make it easier.

We're having the same issue, we only wanted 100 people but right now we're at 144 after FH got done adding people.

We seem to all be in this same boat! I want to more than 70. List is a bit over 100 but we know know only ~ 5 from out of the country are coming. And FH only told his friends the month not date so a few of them aren't coming. And two of my friends told me yesterday they aren't bringing their husband because they want to have fun so I'm crossing my fingers we get back to the smaller number!

List right now is at 102, including us. I know for a fact that my Aunt Norma won't make it (she's in the beginning stages of dementia, and rarely leaves her home these days), and I'm pretty sure that there are a few other out-of-state friends who won't make it.

I'm good with this number or lower.

My dream wedding was 20 peeps. Reality was more like 70, invite list is 98 =(