I think I want to elope

Do it!! I want to elope soooo badly and dodge the espense and hassle of all this planning.

As for people's reactions...it sounds to me like they're going to be a pain in your neck either way, so you might as well have the wedding you truly want.

What orchids said ^

If you haven't already sent out STDs/invites and it still makes sense financially - go for it! I definitely do not like planning as much as I thought I would.

Save the dates have gone out online, and the only things I've paid for are the dress, and a couple other small things that we will still be using anyway, so it is actually extremely nice financially. That's part of the reason I'm a little unsure. I feel bad that it might inconvenience anyone, though it is still really advanced notice that the event is off, so it shouldn't be a big deal other than the aspect of everyone wanting to know why and I don't want to explain it.

I'm all for eloping. Sounds like your family will hassle anyways & just out of curiosity do you really want these people at your wedding...especially if your spending money on it. How's FH's family?

Well that's the big thing about to do it or not to do it... I never thought my family would be like this, and I had always valued having them there, and right now I'm positive I don't want them there, and I'm horrified that they would behave this way. At the same time, I remember really wanting the father daughter dance, and having my dad walk me down the isle, and it is sad that I won't get that, but I think that if I try to force that, my family will ruin my wedding with their outrageous behavior, and I think I'd rather forego all of it and have a beautiful stress-free day without them. My FH's family has been great. I know they had their doubts about me in the beginning, but they have always been really open and at the very least respect me and are really nice people! Now that my FH and I have been together for 3 years, they are really excited and supportive about the wedding, so I would love to have just them there!

So wait, your wedding is in July and you've only paid for the dress and other small things? What about the venue, catering officiant and all?

I'm not saying don't elope, just wondering about those things.

Ditto what Nonna. If you don't have those things held with at least a deposit then you don't have a date. Eloping might be the only choice which sounds like you want to do anyway

I am getting married in July and want to elope too but have WAY too much money in. Did someone else put the deposits down?

Do it! FH and I had a big wedding planned for November and changed our minds about a month ago. We only lost our venue deposit so it wasn't a big deal to us. We're so happy with our decision. Planning wasn't as fun as I thought it would be and it was getting really stressful with everyone's opinions. We kinda lost what we wanted and we're trying to please everyone else. This way, we are doing exactly what we want!

Same here, I'd love to just cut our losses on the deposits and elope. Now that we are working on the catering I am tired of it all. So much stress and anxiety.

Did OP ever come back?

I'm all for eloping when it's what you really want. No one should feel the pressure to create a giant, expensive party they don't truly want.

We do about 100 elopements a year; in fact we have three today. There are a lot of reasons couples do this, but many of them are just because they don't have the time, money or mental head space to deal with the expectations of a giant pageant. If you do, fantastic, but with costs escalating every day, I don't blame anyone for scaling it all back.

@Nonna T, We were planning on getting married at EWU, which doesn't require commitment or a deposit before something like 30 days out even though we have the date reserved, and same with their catering. I also was planning on having a couple of family members do things like flowers and photography that have offered because we didn't have the budget for more and they were excited to help, so I don't have any of those things yet. The officiant I'm checking on, but even if I pay double it's still well worth is as it's not even close to half of my catering budget alone.

OP, it's never a good idea to have family members work on your wedding day. They should enjoy the day.

With that said, I say elope. You can always have a small reception with immediate family when you get back. I've said many times on here that I would prefer to elope. I actually gave FH the numbers and logistics to how it would work and how inexpensive it would be. I had two different venues we could use which put us at two different price points with everything else we would need/want. Just a little over $1k and nearly $3k. He said he would consider it but I could tell that if he decided to elope it be to make me happy so he and I moved the date out to where we could afford more things for the wedding. If you're going to go through with eloping, do your research on it. Figure out if you need witnesses and figure out who those witnesses will be. In my state, we aren't required to have witnesses to be married. Also, I've noticed some photographers will offer their services at a reduced rate for an elopement. I've always thought eloping was the better way to go because it's the bride and groom entering into marriage on their own, just like many of their adventures will be started. The idea is so much more romantic to me but at the end of the day, it only matters that I'm married to my best friend so I can let go of my elopement fantasy.

OP.... are any of your guests from out of town? Our wedding is in July as well. I know many of my close family have already booked flights and hotels.

If the only things you've paid for are for the things you'll be using to elope anyway and you haven't made any deposits for things you'll have to cancel and lose money from, I would say do it! I sometimes wish we could elope instead, and I know my fiancé would be all for it! But unfortunately, we've gone too far at this point and would lose out on a lot of deposits/money.

I would elope!! Do whatever makes you happy, it's your life and don't let their negatives comments get to you.

How does your FH feel about eloping? If he agrees and feels the same, I think you should go for it!

I'm eloping. I see nothing wrong with it at all. I want to encourage you to take the time to know what you want on that day. Once you know what you and your FH want... do that... it's your memories you are creating. Enjoy.