I regret accepting a bridesmaids invitation.

I've never experienced anything similar, except for things I've committed to that are NWR. I stuck them out, even though I really didn't want to. At this point, I think it would hurt her a lot and cause some family drama if you dropped out. I say put on a smile and get through the day. It's less than two months way, and soon it will be all over!

Since it's so close and it's your husband's family, I would just stick it out, put a smile on and fake it. It'll be done and over with before you know it!

Thanks! I am not going to drop at all. I just don't feel like my heart is into at all. Some of the reasons is that I haven't really been included in most of the planning for the bridal party events. About a year ago, we were emailing back and forth about dates and ideas for the bridal shower and bacherolette party. But all the plans have completely changed. Now I just get emails about pay to money by this deadline. It is just becoming very expensive.

You accepted but you did not expect to be a bridesmaid at all? Were you hoping the wedding wouldn't happen or something? lol

At this point.. just try to stick it out and contribute where you can. Sorry you aren't feeling good about it!

Anyways, thanks for listening. I will just suck it up.

@Kristy...I never expected to be asked to be a bridesmaids is what I meant.

@Joy ohhhh gotcha. That makes sense. I would probably accept too out of feeling awkward!

Unfortunately I can't see anyway of backing out without causing a rift! So sorry.

By the way, is it normal that you have to pitch in for the bridal shower and bachelorette? Who,technically, is hosting those events? Im not sure what the etiquette is. My bridesmaids weren't expected to pitch in for anything.

Yes...my own wedding. It's gone on so long and you've dished out so much money you just want it over with. You're in the final stretch.

@Kristy...I don't know the etiquette either, lol, and I got married 6 months ago. The only thing my bridesmaids had to buy was their dress and I kept the price low. So far we have paid for $170 or so dress, $88 contribution to bridal shower, and now $60 contribution for the limo for the bacherorette party (not including what events is included in the night). I'm sure it will be fun.

@Joy I'm sure it will be too Seems like an unnecessary expense.. I mean.. maybe not everyone can afford the limo etc. Are you expected to buy a gift AND pay $88 towards the shower?

I guess... the money is already spent so just try to really enjoy it! hehe But I know how it feels to feel like cash is being sucked from your pocket for something you don't even really want to do! It sucks.

Yes. I stood up for an old friend in a wedding. We both now live in different states. Shes always come from more money than me and never had to work, etc. Its never been a problem before but shes always kind of acted privileged and can occassionally act snotty. When we were at her batchelorette party on our way to dinner she made a really nasty comment about the homeless people sleeping outside and how dumb they were because it was so cold. Everyone else in the car was laughing at them and I realized I dont really like her as much as I used to. We were shopping for shoes for the wedding and I stopped in a luxury purse store. I found a nice wallet for my mom on sale. Mind you I work hard to be able to splurge a little for my parents on their birthdays and Christmas. She went and picked something out for herself and said oh maybe I can get this but my parents havent paid me what they owe me this month yet... she doesnt have a job. Shes not even employed by them.

Ive come to realize that Im happy I was not raised like her and dont feel entitled to the things she does and at the same time Im sad Ive lost someone who I feel understands me. I still stood up in her wedding, put a smile on my face, and had a good time though. Even if the whole experience cost me an arm and a leg.

@Whitney...Thanks for sharing. I think the biggest thing that is bothering me as that we aren't really close friends and I am spending so much money to be in this wedding. I hope she didn't put me in the wedding just because my husband is close to the groom. I would have been just fine just attending. I do not know, I am just a big ball of emotions right now. I just need to sort them out.

I spent a lot of money on that wedding as well. They had a whole bachelorette weekend which cost me quite a bit per night in hotel expenses and then they also chose fancy restaurants to eat at, wanted to get massages, etc. If youve already paid for it try to have fun and remember even if you werent selected to be a bridesmaid for the right reasons you can still have fun!

@joy

I think it's good to vent.

People can tell you anything surrounding weddings is expensive but you don't really understand til it happens!

What's best now is to take a breath and enjoy this time with your new family member. See this as an investment in the relationship.

In the future you'll know that it's okay to turn down being in a wedding party. :3

Technically, the host of the shower and bachelorette should be responsible for all costs, though it's always a nice gesture if the bridesmaids chip in. It's not required though.

The only thing required of bridesmaids, by etiquette rules, is to buy the dress. Did she ask your budget before choosing a dress? If not, she should have. But really, a good rule of thumb is to expect to go into a wedding as a bridesmaid, expect to spend around $150 on a dress. That's just how much a lot of bridesmaid dresses cost these days. If your budget is less than that, there's nothing wrong with that, but you need to tell the bride right away so that you're not put in the position you found yourself in.

I don't think you can really get out of it at this point...

@joy honestly that's pretty normal amount. Most bridesmaids pay for hair/makeup and shoes too. I think the irritating part is the demand to pay for x and y but not have a say in planning those things. That's why it's way better to have a small amount but close bridal party

As someone who was never asked to be a bridesmaid I can't sympathize but I can say it would be something I'd be honored to do ... It seems like a pain in the ass until you realize you've never done it and would love the opportunity to just once.

You're doing the right thing to continue being apart of the bridal party. As others have mention, this is family now and it would have been hard to live down if you dropped out.

Try and make the best of it.

I'm sorry. I know the feeling though. It's awkward, but after the wedding, it won't even matter. Just try to get through until then.