i realized today how lonely i feel...

I definitely go through this, too. FH actively talks to me and we make all of the decisions together but I'm the one physically doing everything.

I'm in the opposite boat though, I don't feel like anyone is excited but us, and that's ok, but we definitely don't have ANY bridal party members offering help, or even asking how its going/calling to talk. Our parents have been supportive and I talk to my mom a lot. I have 4 bridesmaids and my maid of honor, and not one has even called so see how I was doing or if I needed help. My mom is planning my bridal shower and asked the girls to help. Actually, up until a few months ago my MOH always said "are you only going to talk about your wedding until it happens?" She's my younger sister, so when I'm at my moms, yes, I'm going to update her on the wedding and talk about the things I need to do.

I know they don't have to be involved and I have it under control, but I just want someone to ASK how wedding planning is going, or even show the slightest amount of interest. I have a bridesmaid who literally calls just to talk about herself and then hangs up. Anyways, rant over. I don't feel as lonely as much as I feel disappointed, I think.

Ask him how his list is going. And that he offered to help but isnt. Super common scenario. Also a list with deadlines is better. He probably thinks he has 51 days left, guys have no idea how long things take for weddings.

I relate to this too, but I keep trying to remind myself that it doesn't matter who else is excited as long as you and your FH are!

In terms of having him help with planning, I definitely feel like my FH does what you and pp were saying that yours do... making all the decisions together but still you're the only one actually doing things. For my FH I not only made him a list but I also put dates next to the items for when they absolutely have to be done by. That's motivated him a bit to get things done, and I think has helped him divide up his brain by "ok so here's the 3-4 things that I have to do in September" which is working a lot better than "here's the 50 things I have to do by the wedding."

Im on like day 3 of planning my wedding, and i already want to strangle my FH. We are planning to get married in July of 2020 and i already want this to be over with lol. I think being stressed out is totally normal like i said im on day 3 and i want this to be OVER.

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^exactly this lol. If you don't give him deadlines he's probably going to just feel like he has "until the wedding." Definitely try dividing it up by month for him and see if that helps him get stuff done more efficiently!

View Quoted Comment Hahaha your comment literally made me laugh!

View Quoted Comment Literally made me laugh out loud**

That’s how it was suppose to read. I pressed the reply button too quickly hahahaha

TALK to your FH. Nothing will get better unless you talk to him

Thanks everyone I have tried talking to him. We actually sit down and discuss the wedding on Thursdays over wine. I have an agenda. We go through it. He takes action items to be helpful and then by the next meeting I’ve accomplished all my stuff and he has done nothing or little to nothing. The deadline thing is a good idea but even when I make the deadline next Thursday, he comes back with nothing to report. It’s so frustrating because I know he isn’t doing it on purpose. This is just what he does. Especially when it’s not terribly important to him. On October 26th he’ll be running around marking things off and I’m just not going to be ok with that. I’m tired and I want everything to be done so we can relax.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed.

Maybe you just need to take a break from planning.

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Tell me how your wedding planning is going? I'd love talking about it!!

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You're so sweet, lol, but thank you.

It's good! We are on track with everything and with the holidays coming up I know time will speed by, FH and I are getting more excited each day. I can't wait for your BAM, I feel like when I see your BAM my wedding will feel more real! Lol!

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The holidays will make the last few months FLY by. Christmas is so exciting in itself.

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"Especially when it’s not terribly important to him. "

This feels like a very important line.

I'm SURE he does care and it IS important, but maybe he doesn't show it in the way you want him to show it.

I am TYPE A - ALL THE WAY and it's really hard for me to know that FH is going to do something, but in his own time...but he's an adult and I'm not the boss so I have to get my emotions/annoyance under control and let him do his thing, and honestly .... it works out fine. He's a grown a$$ man and knows how to do things.

I agree with making a list and having a deadline FAR ahead of when it needs to be done, and let him know how very, very disappointed you're going to be if you have to do what he has promised you he would do, because at that point it isn't just about the wedding, it's about whether or not he is a partner who does what he says he will do.

----------------------ETA:

OK, I feel like I need to add:

I feel like what is above is a little harsh, but when FH and I moved in together we went through something very similar and I was talking to someone about it and they said something that was so SIMPLE but so PROFOUND (to me anyway) -- "If he doesn't do it, you will, so there is no real consequence to him not doing it. " That was a mike-drop moment for me.

They went on to say "There aren't magical little fairies that come in and pick up his socks or towels, and he isn't stupid...so he knows. Whether he's actually thought about it or not he knows that if he doesn't do it, it will still get taken care of because you will do it."

I had a moment of OMG clarity right there.

Right after I had this profound conversation, we had a hurricane blow through. My FH didn't think it was a big deal (thought I was overreacting) so he didn't get gas in his car until the day before (and 3-4 gas stations later) and didn't get tanks of propane for our grill or do any real prep work other than put up shutters. I on the other hand purchased water for us and all of our Noah's Ark of pets, got canned food and all that stuff. Afterward I had a real "come to Jesus" talk with him about being a man I could count on and who would make good decisions for us and while the procrastination is still something he deals with, we have tanks of gas stored along with gallons of water and a month's worth of pet food at all times now. The issue was a mix of inexperience with storms and knowing that if he didn't take care of things nothing really bad would happen because I worked myself into a tizzy getting things done ahead of time.

All of this to say -- he loves you and wants to make you happy but in my experience you have to make you expectations crystal clear along with how you feel // how you SEE HIM when he lets you down. No man wants to be diminished in the eyes of the lady he loves enough to marry.

Girl I am with you. These people that are all, this is supposed to be exciting... I want to lose my mind anytime someone says that to me LOL. My family is all on the east coast so no one is here helping me and I have to stop texting at a certain time because I am west coast so the time difference sucks. My one bridesmaid that lives here on the west coast is on a yr long road trip with her husband and they won't be around until a few weeks before the wedding. My Fiance's family is not at all into planning or helping. So I am doing all of this on my own. My Fiance wants to help and be involved but then just goes on about how he doesn't have time and blah blah blah. Like I get that he is limited on what he can do during the work day because of his job but if something NEEDS to get done, make a phone call or send an email at lunch or do some shopping on the weekend or after work or whatever... I even made a list of our " to do" by month to make it easier for us and I highlighted the ones that are his job and I have it sitting on the dining table so it can't be missed. I still have to remind him weekly what he should be doing. He doesn't take any action on his own.

Like I said... I am with you. Most days I can ignore it and just power through but sometimes it makes me really sad.

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Hahahah!!!

Isn't it funny how we keep notes in our head about the weddings right before ours because *OMG it is SO CLOSE* LOL

I totally get where you are coming from! This actually happened to me this week and my FH and I had a sit down about this and made a super long list of everything that needs to be done and when we want it done by. I felt much better after that. Do you have a bridal party? I've actually expressed to my mom and one of my bridesmaids that I am overhwelmed and they both have said how can I help? Give me tasks, but that didn't happen until I basically said I need help. My other bridesmaids and my MOH have not helped at all and I thought they would be more helpful but I guess not? I go through phases during the planning process and sometimes it is lonely but just keep pushing through and try to ask for some help!