I now understand invite drama!

We told MIL once that we were out of invites so she couldn't invite anyone. We still had plenty of invites, she just didn't need to know that. I ended up getting a scathing email back about how I am not the one to tell her who she can and can't invite to her son's wedding. DH was quick to tell her that she does not get to call the shots on who we invite to our wedding. It was a huge hissy fit over what most logical adults should be able to accept.

If my parents or in-laws pulled this bullshit I'd flip.

FMIL says we have to invite FH cousin who is a total mess and has been incarcerated for biting a cop, stealing, etc.. I've just gotten to the point where I'm going to say that we'll invite her and just throw the invite in the trash. (we're paying for the wedding)

I didnt think it would be a big deal.. but I've already got... "your step sister (who is all of 17) wants to bring her boyfriend to the wedding." Me- "No, I have hardly any friends going because we cant afford a crazy huge wedding so family is only invited. If no one comes, said bf can go. Otherwise NO"

My FMIL emailed my mom on thanksgiving asking to invite 4 more couples... after i sent out a finalized guest list and ppl have already received their save the dates... offered to pay for them and their invitations.. I feel your pain!

I am a 4 time MOB and I think you should call their bluff. BUT - if you call their bluff be ready for them to go through with it. And if you call their bluff, be ready to hold the line and stick to your guns.

Wow. I am very lucky, as my FMIL is not pushing for any invites that my FH doesn't want, but my own mother was trying to invite people I have never even met because 1) they were there when I face-timed my mom to tell her we were engaged and 2) my mom has gone to her kids weddings. Uh - no! But my mom is cool and understood when I put my foot down and explained how crazy it was to invite someone I've never even met. It just doesn't work that way. I did get suckered into inviting a trainwreck of a girl that I used to be friends with, 5 years ago. But that was early on, and now I have a backbone! haha.

"NO' is a complete sentence. It does not require backpedling, explanations or aplogies. It's fine just the way it is. And it's a good word to deploy at the earliest possible opportunity.

Also tell your parents, FIL's that they can give you a list of guests but it doesn't mean they automatically get invited because FIL's put their name on a list. That was our drama. We weren't going to have kids. FIL's basically said we put "family" on the list of names we gave you to invite. That is not how this works!!! But FIL's don't care, the kids are coming, work it out. And they also berated FH for putting his adult friends over his cousin's children. Like WTF? You had a wedding, you got to decide who was coming, get out of our wedding!!!!!

An aunt who bought a hooker for her 18 year olds birthday? Good Lord! Just think of what she could buy you for a wedding gift. SMH!

LOL @ "throw your own damn party and invite them"