I need to VENT!!! People asking if they're invited to wedding!!

Hahaha this took a great turn.

$160 a person!!! That's why they don't understand. I can't imagine spending $160 on a meal for myself, let alone for a wedding.

I had the awesome experience of my grandmother (who isn't fronting any money) inviting aunts that I haven't spoken to in ages and friends of hers that I don't know to come to the wedding before I even sent out invitations. Then of course she was furious when they were not invited and embarrassed and didn't know how to tell them they couldn't come. Yeah, you should have thought about this beforehand.

I've had people tell me that if I'm going to have alcohol I better be renting limos/cars to get people home or renting hotel rooms for everyone. I'm sorry that you can't hold your liquor.. but no.

I'm going to give a little story from the other side of this - just for some perspective. I don't think people are always doing it to be rude.

I had to do it to my cousin only a few weeks back. FH and I are going back to the UK for our honeymoon. We're spending the main week of it up in Scotland and then the rest of the time visiting and catching up with family. My cousin's wedding is one of the weekends we're in the UK. We had to get our hotel booked for the Scotland portion of the trip, and I needed to know if we were invited to the wedding or not. It was cheaper to go the weekend of the wedding, but as I'm already missing my other cousin's wedding this month I was willing to pay a little more to go the following weekend - but I would have been annoyed to have paid more and then found out that I wasn't invited to the wedding anyway. So I Facebooked them and asked them,

Did I feel a little cheeky? Yes. Did I think I was rude? Or was I trying to be rude? Absolutely not! And I don't consider myself rude for asking. If they'd turned around and said 'sorry, we're limiting space etc' I'd have told them 'no worries, have a wonderful wedding' and then booked my cheaper hotel for my honeymoon.

I guess I'm just saying that sometimes people are justified in asking. Sometimes there is a legitimate reason.

So it doesn't bother me. And in fact I had a few people ask me. And I answered yes or no and forgot about it.

Not really sure what your implying by quoting me @purplekitten & Lauren R?

But @ Ex-Tex our wedding venue is a package kind of place in which open bar the meal and cake champagne toasts, day of coordinator etc are all included in the price which is then broken down per person. They don't allow you to cut costs by skipping the open bar so it is pricey! We have to pay that price for guests that don't drink and even kids over 12!!! All the more reason I'm annoyed by people randomly inviting themselves.

@nicola I totally understand your reasoning and I'm sure the person you asked did as well of course your traveling that far around the same time period.

However these people all live in the area, one cousin posted on a fb picture of my bridesmaid proposal that she "really hopes EVERYONE in the family will get invited to this special day" I never talk to her (she talks crap about me) and my grandmother on moms side had 18 kids, dads side had 6!!!! Yea okay!! Everyone will absolutely not be invited!

My cousin got married recently and he invited the whole family and at a event shortly before, one of my uncles asked my dad what I was gonna do. As I know them, the uncle was only half joking. Luckily, my dad had a quick comeback and said that he's sure that they will be invited if they want to pay for the flight. (They live in Switzerland, the wedding will be in California, where I live).

I know this is like a year old, but I'm so frustrated with the same thing right now!!! "This is going to be a stupid question, but are we invited to your wedding?" I haven't talked to you in 5 years and we weren't invited to yours!! Don't send ME a message asking if you're invited when you weren't even my friend, you were HIS! Ughh!! Sorry I had to get that off my chest and I didn't want to start a new board when so many people have had the same problem...

Any advice? I'm thinking about making FH call him. Is it more awkward to say, "No you're not ivited," or "Sorry, we forgot about you, do you still want to come?"

Hi I'm happily married now and after its all said and done we had a beautiful wedding! In the end we decided to have those that we really wanted present and ignored those rude ones asking if they were invited. Most of our family is not married and a lot of those that are have done the whole church thing then rent a hall. So they didn't understand why a lot were not invited, why they couldn't bring a friend or their kids and why we needed specific headcounts weeks in advance.

At the end of it all I kind of just brushed it off and started ignoring it. I did succumb to a few people who I felt pressure from and guess what some were no shows and never mentioned it or apologized. My biggest advice and learning experience would be to let your wedding be what you and your FH want and that's all that matters because the ones making you upset or stressed are not footing the cost or going to be by your side when it's over!!!