i need tips on how i can afford to feed everyone

Wow! That’s a lot of people. Hopefully you can save a lot of money from now until the wedding and cut costs in other areas. I would plan for off-season and a day other than Saturday to save money

Look into BBQ, Italian, or Mexican catering, those tend to be the cheapest.

Catering is going to be your biggest expense and it will be huge with that guest list. Donut forget to add alcohol to your catering budget. Bbq and Italian will be your cheapest options.

You don't set a budget by seeing what things cost. You set a budget by deciding what you can afford to spend. Period.

You then work on the guestlist. Start with the people who absolutely must be there on your special day. Only if there is money available , do you extend invitations to anyone else.

You don't have to invite all your family members. What is your definition of close? Do you see them all on a regular basis?

Then you see what it would cost to host the list of people who absolutely must be there. If you want a traditional dinner and dance, you may have to limit your guest list. If you want a crowd, you might have to choose a cake and punch reception, or something in between those two extremes.

View Quoted Comment ^^^ this. You don’t have to invite everyone. Work in circles. Also, cut that guest list to be more manageable.

I agree with the other posters. If BBQ, Italian, and Mexican food are not good options for you, then you will have to trim your guest lists. You don't have to invite everyone to your wedding. If you don't talk to them or see them on a regular basis then they can be eliminated.

Your list is 230 and 170 you feel close to that's just your lists. You're looking at trying to host over 400 people. It cam be done if you have to budget for it. But that's still alot of people. I still say eliminate, eliminate and eliminate it you're gonna stress yourself out.

If you want that many people look into having an ealier wedding and doing brunch foods.

Unless you have a very generous budget, that guest list is unmanageable to properly host. Consider cutting the list, as unpopular of an idea as that may be.

View Quoted Comment Yup exactly this. DH’s Family is huge. We invited those that we see regularly to keep our list small. Have you seen each of those 170 people over the last year? Can your FS identify and know who each of those 170 people? For us, if there was anyone that I had to say “who was that” and couldn’t easily identify at a large family function, they weren’t invited to the wedding. Would you really be willing to spend $40+ on each of these family members if you were to go out to dinner?

You are close to 170 of your family members? Wow, that's a close family.

Please consider revisiting your list. The best way to control the budget is to control the guest list.

If his guest list is anywhere near what yours is, that's 400 people. If you go with a cost saving option like Italian or bbq, that'll cost about $20 per person, give or take. That's $8000 just for the meal. Then add in appetizers and the bar plus costs for staff and gratuity... OP that's going to get you close to $20,000 just to keep your guests hydrated and fed.

Unless you have the budget for a $50K or higher wedding, you may need to cut that guest list waaaaaaayyy back. That'll be the ONLY way to cut costs.

Oh man, that's a lot of people. The biggest way you save money is by cutting your guest list. If there is any way you could reduce that amount of people, that's the first place to start. Catering does tend to be the biggest expense but you can shop around and perhaps can find something reasonable that will still provide a good experience for your guests. Often times BBQ and Italian can be good, inexpensive choices. Many restaurants offer catering packages that could be cheaper than a catering company.

I completely understand wanting everyone to be there. We had to make some hard choices too regarding our guest list because we both have huge families. But you don't want to go bankrupt over this and you don't want your family remembering your wedding in anything less than a positive way.

View Quoted Comment THIS. there’s no way most people will be able to feed and hydrate that many guests. And there’s no way you’re VERY close to 400 people. You see those 400 all the time...? You must be very busy.
Cut it. You’ll never be able to afford a wedding of that magnitude.

Agree with the other posters to figure out your budget then cut your guest list. Aside from the expense of it all, you're going to waste your reception making your rounds to be sure you see everyone and wind up not having any fun!

Girl noooo, I would just cut that guest list. Do a smaller, more intimate wedding with immediate family only! I'm in a cheaper area for weddings, or so I hear, and I have 100 people to feed for our wedding and it's going to cost us about 4300 for a buffet! The best way to keep your food costs manageable is to cut the list... don't make a list and try to find the cheapest way to do it then!

I should add... that doesn't even include my bar costs. Beer, wine, and soda alone was 2k!

Literally the cheapest thing I can even think of is Olive Garden catering and that alone is going to be around $7k for 400 people. That’s just basic salad, breadsticks, fettuccini & lasagna after tax. Then even if you Costco bulk buy your drinks you’re looking at another few thousand for water, soda, and a min of wine and beer for 4-6 hours. .Then you need to factor in rentals- 40+ tables, 400 chairs, plates, linens, utensils. You’re now looking at $15k before factoring in staff, bartenders, venue rental, liability insurance, photographers, DJ, your attire, etc. I understand the urge to invite all your extended family to avoid drama but people need to understand it’s your wedding & not a family reunion. If you haven’t spoken to the person in the last year you don’t need to invite them.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!! Eloping sounds really nice right now but I know we'd both regret it..... soooo we're gonna see this through... asking for prayers LOL

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you Muriel!

Thank you all for your support! You all told me what I've known deep inside. I do feel close to my family all 170 of them who I grew up with and have a good bond with though I can't afford to travel and spend tons of time with and who've all expressed excitement over our upcoming day! My anxiety hurts!!... and now on to decide who stays and goes!... at least for the reception... the dance is a different story