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Just Said Yes October 2021

i need some advice about my moh and her new boyfriend

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Stacy, on February 16, 2021 at 12:44 PM

I will try and keep this brief but as detailed as possible.
My two best friends are serving as MOHs
to my wedding in October. I couldn’t pick one so I chose both. I’ve known both the same amount of time and have been close to them for years. My first MOH has a boyfriend that she has known for years (off and on relationship...always a timing issue) and has now been with him and living with him for about 2 years now. He of course is invited to the wedding. My second MOH has been single for a long time and just got a new boyfriend about 2 months ago. I have never met this man due to the pandemic and I know our wedding is months away, but I found it rude that she didn’t ask if he could attend she just told me he’s coming. Should I be upset? Should I tell her no? I know she’s my MOH and technically should have a plus one, but she told us not to worry about a plus one and now I feel like my hands are tied. I don’t want to upset her but again our budget is tight and we didn’t plan on any extra guests because she didn’t want us to worry about her. What should I do? I know I need to talk to her but I want it to be polite and tactful. Any advice helps greatly!

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33 Comments

Just Said Yes October 2021
Stacy · on February 16, 2021 at 1:21 PM
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She is disrespecting my wishes. She didn’t ask she told
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on February 16, 2021 at 1:44 PM
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Sounds like your mind is made up. Go ahead and tell your best friend she can't bring her boyfriend to your wedding, but be prepared for this to damage your relationship with her.
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Super April 2021
Tiger Bride · on February 16, 2021 at 2:08 PM
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October is 8 months away, so they'll have been together for nearly a year by then - I'd invite him, personally.
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Devoted October 2021
Chantelle · on February 16, 2021 at 2:36 PM
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I agree with allllll of this! If anyone gets a plus one it should be your MOH
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Master 0000
Judith · on February 16, 2021 at 2:42 PM
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Your MOH is simply assuming you have good manners. What is wrong with that? Anyone with good manners issues invitations to both halves of an established couple. By wedding time, it would be rude of you not to. You would not like it if she assumed you were a rude and ill mannered person, would you? 🙂
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Dedicated June 2021
Leonardia · on February 16, 2021 at 3:46 PM
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Hi! Based on what you're saying this is based on your budget. So I would just let her know that at this moment you can't handle it because you cannot afford it. I think I saw you said if other people RSVP "No" you might swing it so maybe let her know that too...if I really saw that and didn't imagine it lol. Newho, good luck and I hope planning is going well!
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on February 16, 2021 at 3:48 PM
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It was definitely rude of her to assume, but if this is her boyfriend (no matter how recent), then yes of course he should be allowed to come. Plus ones are for truly single guests. A boyfriend is a relationship, and relationships are a package deal, especially for someone as important as your MOH.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on February 16, 2021 at 4:21 PM
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Pick your battles wisely. I would give in
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on February 16, 2021 at 5:56 PM
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Ok but if your wedding in October (8 months away) and she’s had this boyfriend for 2 months already they will have been together for almost a year by the time of your wedding. I agree with others that say to just make room for him (assuming he is still in the picture come invitation time). If you choose to disregard her relationship of almost a year why would she want to celebrate yours?
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Devoted September 2022
Soon2Bemarried · on February 16, 2021 at 8:14 PM
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It’s kind of Touchy. Your honor attendants should minimally be given a plus one, whether or not they use it is on them. She could potentially be unhappy if she’s not given a plus one, even if she says she’s fine with it. If she was just a bridesmaid this would be easier to answer but she’s a MOH and not given a plus one, but the other one is. Optically that is not fair. If you’re worried about optics, you have to invite the boyfriend.
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on February 16, 2021 at 9:19 PM
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He's not a plus one. You're using that term incorrectly. Plus one means anyone brought as the guest of a single guest. Your friend is not single. He is not a plus one, he is her SO. He needs to be invited.
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on February 16, 2021 at 9:20 PM
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She shouldn't have to ask if her SO is invited. SOs should always be invited. SO =/= plus one.
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Expert September 2020
Amanda · on February 16, 2021 at 10:50 PM
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She’s going to be hurt and offended. Is it worth that trade off? Maybe you meet him and love him or more likely, you’ll have a nice casual introduction and meet again at a later date. It would send a very unwelcome message to both of them to make a fuss out of it. Not worth ruining a friendship IMO.
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