i love my wedding invitation & website, but my guests hate it?

View Quoted Comment Agreed to ypur post

View Quoted Comment Did you send two invitations?

If they got a follow up invite, they probably felt pressured and changes their rsvp to yes. I don't think it has anything to do how fancy or plain the invites are

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I did not, but my parents had tiers of guest (originally they wanted to invite about 70 relatives, family friends, business colleagues etc. and now because of restrictions the list is down to 30, it's a cultural thing here that wedding is also if not more about parents than the couple, but covid did really make way for intimate weddings that is all about the couple, which I love). So after half of the first tier kinda failed, he sent the rest of his guests his computer-paper printed version of his invitation and it worked apparently. They are planning to do the same to another tier of guests to fill up the quota.

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I had this discussion with my parents about this again last night, apparently they had phoned all the relatives about the details of my wedding (that it is not black tie, just a relaxed gathering etc.) since then those had RSVPed.

It is kinda strange, I just did not expect that invitation style would affect the planning to this extent.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this! it's your day, use the invitations you love! your wedding day is the one day ever you shouldn't be catering to anyone else's desires except you and your spouse's

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I agree with this. The invitations set the tone for the formality of the event and while your invitations are beautiful, they are very formal invitations and indicate a formal event. If guests aren't comfortable with or don't want to attend a formal wedding, or if they feel that they can't gift what they feel is an appropriate amount based on the formality (even though that shouldn't affect the amount of the gift), it's understandable why they would decline based on the invitation. Further communications about how it's actually a casual event would be confusing and could make people feel like you're trying to talk them into attending an event where they'll feel uncomfortable.

6 months is way too early for invites for any occasion as they are sent 6-8 weeks standard. You can send save the dates at 6 months via email/phone call/text (they have been sent over the phone for decades with no issues or costs involved) but no one can commit that early and they will lose and forget the information.


I have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that people don’t like the the design and use that as an excuse to not attend. Some people don’t like anything and have no tact. Send the ones your friend made closer to the appropriate time.
Not every social circle follows the idea of covering their plate as that information is not made public and it is considered by many that it is inappropriate to make assumptions because guests are not paying for their catered meals as in a restaurant setting or a club entrance fee. Most people graciously attend or they decline if they don’t feel they can do so. Not everyone shares their negative thoughts with the couple as it is impolite and if someone uses “not my style” as a reason to not attend, then I would question if they care about sharing the couple’s happiness or are stuck on the irrelevant details.

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This is exactly what I was going to say

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Yes ^. This. Absolutely.