i love my wedding invitation & website, but my guests hate it?

For a wedding that is in 6 months, it is a little early to send invitations. Invitations are usually sent 6-8 weeks ahead of time. At this point, many people may not know their schedules this far in advance, and may have declined because they couldn't guarantee a yes RSVP later. I would wait to send the invites until around 2 months before your wedding.

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Yes I want to eliminate the stress by testing the waters, I plan to send out the rest by 2-3 months before the day, that is why I send it to family friends who live nearby. And they aren't usually the travelling type.

My curiousity is why more people responded to the crappy invitations made by my dad than the beautiful invitation which I love.

If you think guests are making a decision based on what the invitation looks like, then they don't seem like people who are at all invested or interested in you (or your future spouse). Let it go and focus on those who you have genuine relationships with who are excited to come and celebrate with you.

People RSVPd no based on the invitation? That makes no sense and I’ve never heard of that before. I would move forward with the invites you love. If people decline because of what the invitations look like, that’s on them.

View Quoted Comment I would definitely still use the invitations that you love when you send out the rest! I'm not sure if people are actually making a decision based on what your invitation looks like, or if it's just coincidence and they would have declined regardless of what the invite looked like, but I would let it go and focus on those who RSVP yes. If people want to decline based on what your invites look like, that's their problem.


It's a little unclear to me though: did people just not respond to your invite? Or did they RSVP no?

RSVP'd "no" based on invite?? That's just rude lol! But they tell you that? Unless they told you that then they have issues. Like serious issues lol!!!
I do have a few questions to add as well:
-Are those guests who RSVP'd "no" from out of town?
-Did you send out any save the dates?
-Do you mind showing us the fancy vs. crappy invites?
-Was there any particular wording that may have caused them to say "no"?

In a nutshell don't get rid of what you already have for invites I'm sure they have their reasons as to why they are saying "no". They could be out of town, going on vacation that same time, maybe they're not in the right financial situation right now, maybe it's because of COVID, or thy may just have other priorities going on.

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It didn't make sense for me either, but it did happened and half who refused already changed to a yes after the 'MS Word invitation' (they are families/relatives)

But my dad seems to understand it, he said that my invitations comes across as a somewhat 'nicer' wedding, and said that we have this culture of the nicer the wedding, the bigger the hongbao present (cash in red pockets in Chinese culture). If I were a guest, I don't value how much I give based on the wedding's 'level of niceness', that so I just don't know that such mindset existed, I guess it's a generational/demographic thing.

I hope my guest and my DF's/DF's family guests don't respond the same way but I'm kinda worried now lol..

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Those whose invitations I sent first are all relatives/family friends who live in town (no major travelling required to attend), they are my parents' guest whom they interact very regularly.

I sent save the date digitally 11 months before my wedding (5 months ago).

these are parts of my original invitation

this is what my dad worked on (had to blur out some parts sorry)

Some who already said No now are saying that they will come

Wow that is baffling! The invitation you sent first is BEAUTIFUL.

Are you family afraid they'll have to dress in tuxes/black tie and can't afford to do so, or something?

View Quoted Comment Yeah, it's definitely a thing, unfortunately. Many people believe that they need to cover their plate at a wedding. The invitation is also known to indicate the formality of the event. A fancy invite would indicate to guests that it is a more upscale event, which means that the cost per plate is expensive. Not saying it's right (the cover your plate tradition needs to just go away, into), but I do understand what your dad is saying and why some guest declined based on your invite.

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Those are GORGEOUS! I can't imagine how much that would cost! I cannot imagine any scenario in which someone would decline to attend a wedding based on the invitations. They are either crazy or there is some other reason.

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Maybe they didn't recognize that the invitation was for you - did you include your parents' names on the fancy invite? If not and you are sending them to their friends - they may be saying no without realizing who they are saying no to....

If you love invitations and your website's style then move forward with it. I've also never heard of people RSVPing no because of the invitation being 'too fancy' . The stye is gorgeous IMO and your invitations could be whatever you want them to anyways! My friend did video invitations using a Smartshow 3d wedding themed template because she loved it and it was gorgeous!

This may be a little too early for sending them as others has noted which is probably the reason.

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Thanks actually I stated in the invitation a detailed information that the guest pick the outfit that they are comfortable with since it will be a summer evening garden party.. and the wedding reception will be slightly less formal (definitely no tux/gowns).

If they are friends with your parents, they could be more old school. However, declining an invitation because it’s “fancy” is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. YOU are the bride, you do what you want. If they are friends or your parents and you’re not dying ti have them attend your wedding, I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s your special day, you’re the queen. Weddings in our a time. It’s your time and your other guest feel special for getting such a fancy thought out invite!
Some other guest may be very underwhelmed to just get a basic typed out invite, while others will be very happy and think about how thoughtful it is receiving detailed specific and beautiful invites.

It’s your day, queen! #OwnIt 🤍

I would not insult your very generous friends by not using those gorgeous invites. If someone RSVPs no, and you feel like that's the reason, you can always reach out to them after the no and ease their concerns

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Oh my goodness! Your invitation is BEAUTIFUL!!!!! I LOVE IT!! So with that being said, if they are saying no based on your invite then they definitely have issues. LOL! Just saying. But go forward with using those invites because they really are beautiful

And unless you have a close relationship with your parents friends and for them to say no then I understand how you would want them there. But if it does not bother you the slightest then don't worry about it! Trust me, the people you really want there will be there

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Yeah that's just weird then! If I received that invite I'd be excited to go.

Some people feel that their gift should at a minimum cost what you paid to feed them. If they thought it was very upscale and the food would be expensive they might feel they need to give a much larger gift

Im taken aback that an actual wedding invitation PRINT is the reason for the refusals. Perhaps its the formal wording or location of the wedding making them feel unworthy.