i lost my moh

I agree, we want our MOHs involved because they are our best friends, not because of the title. It is really a shame she didn't want to be more involved. Has she expressed any concerns to you about the process? Some people don't like wedding planning in general. If you are Okay with losing her as a friend, I would just drop it and wait and see if she shows up. But if you want to keep her as a friend, you should reach out and be the bigger person. Not that she was right and you were wrong, but she might be waiting to her from you. Maybe you just need to have a good talk? I am sorry you have this stress on top of wedding planning. This should be a time of joy and excitement and I am sorry this is taking away from that.

Honestly, this seems to be something she's been wanting to do. If you truly except her for being the "out there" friend, then that is what you need to do. Why do you care what her hair looks like on your wedding day? Are you worried what people will think? Ashamed of her? I'm not trying to be mean here, but you asked. If you truly care about this friend, you owe her an apology and you need to accept and not judge. Has SHE not been there also for YOU? Who cares what anyone thinks! It's not you with the crazy hair and weird finger tattoos (not my style either, but hey, to each his own)....Best of luck to you. I hope you can mend this.

Okay I read some of the other posts and it's not fair of her if she's insisting on picking her own dress, shoes, etc.. She needs to wear the dress & shoes you pick out. Her hair & makeup - I don't know. I've been in 5 weddings and noone ever told me how to do my hair & makeup....

Ah. Very unfair of her. Now I'm seeing a selfish pattern here to some extent. Maybe she's jealous of your wedding and of losing you. Okay, I gotta get some work done - great luck!

Sorry that you are going through this stress along with everything else that is going on . BUT..........

I think you overreacted. I'm sorry my Best friend of 7 years is worth more than fire engine red hair. Yes I may cringe looking back at my pics but I would love my friend more and except her for who she is. She is expressing herself through her clothes and looks. I think yes you can be annoyed but I think you acted hasty in your decision to remove her. If your relationship is truly important it wouldn't matter what she looked like. You pick you MOH from the heart because that is the person you can't see yourself not having by your side as you become a married woman!. Just understand the friendship could be over, I wouldn't know how to feel if the 1 person who is supposed to have my back doesn't except me. The world is a harsh place and I'm quite sure people are judging her constantly you just joined them and she's your best friend.

Only my opinion as you asked. Sorry I try to look at things from others perspective as well.

I can understand how startling it may have been to see your friend change her image in ways that didn't align with the aesthetic vision you had for your wedding day. However, you say you love that she's a little bit wild and doesn't care what others think, so when you made the decision to kick her out of your wedding for doing things that are true to herself and in line with her character, and those are the very reasons why you say you love her, it seems like you chose the aesthetic of one day in your life over her.

I think she's right to be upset and you are too. I would be livid if someone in our wedding party died their hair blue right before our wedding, but we also didn't pick anyone who would be inclined to do that, and if we did have someone in our wedding who was apt to dress or style themselves wildly, we would have had a discussion with them beforehand about what we were going for for the day, to make sure we were on the same page. It would have been super important for them to understand what we wanted and to agree that fitting into that role for our day was something they wanted to do. If that was something you and your friend agreed upon and then she just went and got tattoos and bright colored hair anyway, I think it is more understanding that you reacted in the way you did. But if her appearance was never a part of the communication between you when you asked her to be in your wedding and she agreed, and it only came up later, well then I think she's right to be pissed about you trying to control the way she looks, even temporarily, as she didn't commit to "looking plain" to be in your wedding. That's my 2 cents anyway.