I know I just hurt my mom's feelings.....

I would not compromise for anything. i believe this is a very personal decision. Your step dad did not raise you and as such has really no right to give you away.

It;s your decision and what you are comfortable with.

I think you should stand up for how you feel. It is your special day and you should not be forced to do something you dont feel comfortable with.

I agree! Don't let anyone coerse you into thinking you need to have your step dad in there, when you have felt differently all alone! Be true to yourself.

Maybe she thinks you're doing it to spite her or her husband. I definitely think you should stand your ground on not having your step-dad walk you down the aisle, especially since you've stated your intentions many times before.

But sit down and talk to her, let her know you love them both, and you want to honor your father by walking alone with a picture of him or some such. I think this may just be a misunderstanding that can be fixed.

Although the tradition of having someone walk the bride down the aisle isn't as widespread and important as it used to be, if you do want someone to walk you down the ailse, it should definitely be your decision. My son is walking me down the aisle and a lot of other brides on here have had thier mothers, brothers, or grandfathers have the honor of doing this. Is there someone else in your life that you would rather have walk you down the aisle? If not, do you want to walk by yourself? The best way to handle it with your mother is to say "I have made the decision that I am going to (have so and so walk me/walk myself) down the aisle, I'm sorry if that hurts you or your husbands feelings, but my father's memory is very important to me and its my decision to make."

Do what you feel is right! I lost my mother when I was also 12, & I'd never let anyone take her place on my wedding day. Your mom should understand your feelings. And support you no matter what you choose to do.

Do what you feel is right! I lost my mother when I was also 12, & I'd never let anyone take her place on my wedding day. Your mom should understand your feelings. And support you no matter what you choose to do.

Moms like to make a lot of decisions when it comes to weddings but this is one she can not make. If no one besides your father hold that honor to walk you walk alone and honor your dad. Congrats have a blessed wedding

This is an extremely personal decision. I am in the similar position. I believe you should do what is in your heart and stand firm on your decision.

Thanks for the support! I think I really needed to hear it. As far as what I'm considering, I'm batting back and forth between having her walk me, or having she and my step-dad kiss me on the cheek at the back and my fiance meeting me halfway to escort me the rest. I think it shows a lot more simbolism about all of our relationships than a traditional "giving away of the bride" would.

My father passed away as well, and everyone wanted to put their two cents in on who my dad would want to give me away. Some of the discussions started calmly but ended in arguments. In the end I stood up for what I wanted. I actually ended up asking my mom to give me away as well.

But i the end it is your decision, trust your feelings and you will make the decision that will be best for you day, your memories, and honor your fathers memory!

It's your wedding. Stand your ground, but you should definitely talk to your mom. Try to make her understand that you are not doing this to spite them or anything. I had a friend who chose to have her brother walk her down the aisle (her father was still alive, but was a severe alcoholic during her whole childhood and not much of a dad to her growing up). Her father threw a big fit at the rehearsal, despite the fact that he was told this way in advance. He even said that he and his side of the family would not be there if she did this. she stood her ground, and told him that if was going to act that way, he shouldn't come. She stood her ground, and was glad that she did. Good luck.

It's your day - you should have or not have who you wish to walk you down the aisle. Don't let anyone take this away from you.

It is your day and your decision. For the record, my dad passed years ago. I have two sons that will be in the wedding - but I am walking down the aisle with my future hubby.

I agree stand your ground, your mom will get over it in time...maybe do a dance with your mom instead of the dance with the stepdad?

I agree with the other ladies, this is an important decision in the wedding and it should be your own. We aren't talking about flower colors or guest list issues. There are ceratin things you have to pick your battles on, and this is what you should stick to what you want. Good luck!!

I also agree with many others. This is such personal decision and IMO your mom has no right to be upset. I guess it would be one thing if you had said or even implied that your stepdad would be the one to walk you down the aisle, but it sounds like you were open and honest about it all. Did something spark the "reminder"?

I don't think you should compromise on that. If you wanted to, maybe you could have him do some other part in the wedding to show that he's important to you (if he is) like a reading or toast or something. But no, I don't think that should be something you should comprise on.

Melanie, the reminder came from trying to figure out the Invitation Wording. My fiancé and I were originally going to get married by a JP and have a celebration later and originally I had found a cute poem to put on the reception invitations that tastefully symbolized that. Then this morning I remember since changing my mind about having my family there for the marriage part that I needed to reword the invitations.... Hence the... "Dad's not here, mom is, and step dad is... Oh crap, I have to remind her of this." ~ Along with a little alone crying

Miranda, the toast or reading is a good idea! I want him to feel involved and important, because he is, he's just not my dad and once you grieve that void, it feels wrong to try to fill it.