I have to tell my Bridesmaid "No kids allowed" :(

The only children that are allowed at our reception will be the children that are in the wedding (Ring bearer & flower girl), and the children of the people in our bridal party. I have told our Bridesmaids and Groomsmen that we are having a kid free reception and if they don't want their kid there, that's fine. They have all set up babysitters for the night of our wedding.

I was scared to tell my bridesmaid and she said even if she could bring them she didn't want to. She wants a niight out with her husband without the kiddies. Hopefully yours will react the same..you just never know!

Just tell her your wedding will be adults only. I'm not sure why she'd be upset. This isn't an unusual thing.

It could go either way. no one here can ease your mind...we don't know her.

Hey Kori! I am in the same boat! out of my 6 BMs 5 of them have children. I haven't told anyone that it is a "no-child" wedding yet but when I do I will explain exactly what you said above.. "Although myself and FH adore children and cannot wait to have some of our own our budget doesn't allow us to invite children. Within both our families all the children under 12 would be about 40-50" that's just crazy!

Your wedding is next year so that gives plenty of time to try to find a sitter. Unfortunately, I can't tell you one hundred percent if she will be fine with it or not but express your logic to her and like your other friend, maybe she will understand.

As long as you know that backing out of your wedding could be the result, its honestly her choice. That being said, what your asking for is by no means unreasonable.

D. no one here knows ME either so how can YOU know if they can ease my mind. They can, otherwise I wouldn't have posted. Thank you to those who were helpful

As long as you understand that she might not want to be in the wedding I think that you won't have any issues...if she is a normal, sane person she should understand and should not take it personally...just explain to her that it is nothing against her family but you and FH decided together and that you cannot make any exceptions

I'm letting mine bring children (I am referring to 10 and under), but am setting up a kids party at a nearby hotel with two nannies during the actual wedding. Close enough for them to be checked on, but unless it's a baby baby, I think most of my guests will be happy to have the children taken care of that night, but not have to leave them home all weekend. If not, I am fine with them bringing their children, but I am not reserving any seats for them. I have limited seating. There will likely end up being about 30 children, and they'll all be allowed at the rehearsal dinner and Sunday brunch. Most of my guests are out of towners with children however, so it may make more sense for me to do this.

If your guests are mostly local, I should think they could get a sitter for the day.

We're only inviting children of family members (I have six cousins ranging from age 2 to 16 and specifically want them there) and children of bridal party members. I know it's not "proper etiquette" but it's what we're doing!

Would it be possible for you to arrange for a sitter for your bridesmaid's kids?

Two suggestions - One break it to her in the nicest way possible - like we understand your situation but due to size/budget constraints we are going for a 21+ wedding...blah blah blah.

Two - since obv. you are from Maine - could you suggest interviewing and providing a babysitter for her at or near the wedding venue?

From the post, I couldn't determine if she was from out of town or not...

Would that be something you could do for her in order to ease her mind about not being able to bring the little one?

Or in my case - I used word of mouth (via my mom, family friend, FMIL) that no children are going to be at the wedding unless they are attached at the breast...so far we haven't heard anyone come back and say they were upset...

FutureMrsP haha... attached at the breast! That's a good one. I'm not from Maine, we ourselves are about 3 hours away (the closest of any wedding guest) most people have to travel quite a bit. Everyone else that has kids has adopted the idea of a "fun night/weekend off." My bridesmaid is in Florida. I don't think I would provide childcare for anyone as mean as it sounds.

If we had allowed kids at our reception, there would have been an extra 62 heads. No thanks. Kids at our reception were never an option for me anyways. They whine, they take over the dance floor, I don't want them stepping on my dress....

Just tell her you're doing an adult only reception. She shouldn't take it personally but should understand why you made that decision. Kids cost money, and they add up quick when adding them into the guest list for a wedding.

Completely understood - but if your BM doesn't want to leave her child and you really want her in the wedding, providing child care might be your only option.

I know that when I go to OOT weddings where my son isn't invited, I bring my babysitter with me - it avoids the issues of having to find someone to watch him while my FH and I are away.

You don't necessarily have to PROVIDE the childcare, but you could help her find it if it is an issue. Or reach out to your hotel and see if they have anyone they recommend or have on-site. Some places might.

There really is no easy way to break it to her..She has a right to be pissed, it kinda comes with the territory of having a no kids wedding unfortunately (or on the other hand she might like a nice break from the kids). I'd just tell her and see what she says..if she puts up a stink then brainstorm with her about potential possibilities. It's very hard sometimes for parents to leave to go to an overnight wedding if the dad is unable or unwilling to watch her. Maybe she has family she can leave them with? Good luck!

I gotta do the same thing. For the most part, people have been understanding and most of my BMs are excited to have a date night without the offspring.

That can be a touchy subject. We are doing a limited kids wedding. So those who are having to travel from out of town, and may not attend because of no kids we invited the kids. But anyone local, they can get a sitter for the night.

As far as your friend is concerned maybe help her find a sitter in the area, since she is coming to you maybe someone you know and trust who would do that for you.

I don't know about being "pissed" that's a little extreme. Mrs M To Be I'm with you. The people that say having kids there is magical never went to a wedding where a baby or kid screamed and cried through the vows.... Cause that's awesome who wouldn't want that?!?

I do not know how she will react as I do not know her. It's possible she will be pissed..I know someone who was a BM in the wedding who was in fact mad that her kid was not allowed. You know your BM--do you think she will welcome a night away with the kids? If your answer is yes then your concerns are eased.. Of course there are cons to having kids at a wedding; they cost money they are annoying, etc. You will just have to tell your friend and see how she reacts. I'm not sure what advice you are asking for? A list of cons for having children at a wedding?