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Devoted August 2015

I hate my cousins/BM'S boyfriend..and don't want to invite him

LilBit8915, on February 10, 2015 at 10:16 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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My cousin (who happens to be a bridesmaid) has this super controlling, piece of $--- of a boyfriend that I do not want to invite to my wedding. He's a class A jerk and my entire family can't stand him. I'm really concerned he's going to mess up the mood of my day by dragging my cousin down and making her miserable. He has a habit of going to fancy events and leaving early because he doesn't know how to have fun. And my cousin always listens to him...I don't know how tell her that I don't want him at my wedding. Im afraid she'll have a fit if i say that and start drama..any suggestions on how to handle this? I really don't know how to talk to her about it...

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Theresa Beale, on February 10, 2015 at 10:39 PM

Master June 2015
AndixLyn · on February 10, 2015 at 10:18 PM
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You dont. You suck it up. What if she didn't like FH? You'd tell her she can have her feelings but it's not going to have any impact on anything. You'd tell her to get over it.
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Master April 2015
MrsDean · on February 10, 2015 at 10:19 PM
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Just let her bring him. There's no good way to handle it otherwise. Good thing is he'll probably leave early. She'll probably leave early with him, but that's her choice.
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Master October 2015
Monica SC · on February 10, 2015 at 10:21 PM
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I'm letting my MOH bring her cheating bastard husband, if they are still together come October....here is hoping they are not! I don't plan to even acknowledge him-I can ignore someone into the floor.
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Super June 2015
bridalfever · on February 10, 2015 at 10:32 PM
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Sorry you need to extend an invite. My cousin actually disinvited my (then boyfriend/roommate, we had just moved in together) FH, and it was very hurtful. She didn't agree with some things he had done in his past which concerns NO ONE aside from me and him. Like Andi said, just suck it up.
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Master August 2016
FFW · on February 10, 2015 at 10:39 PM
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Ignore him & her to the extent she's w/ him. And hope she finds better between now & the wedding. I personally didn't like one of my aunts bf before they were married he was very stand off-ish and didn't seem like he wanted to be around our family (much less in it) but hes since opened up & I love him. Not saying that will happen here just saying we all have to deal w/ family SOs cant let it get to you
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Master November 2014
Theresa Beale · on February 10, 2015 at 10:39 PM
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I am going to disagree (somewhat) with other posters because I had a similar situation. My mother's boyfriend is an alcoholic that is very disrespectful and inappropriate when he's drinking. I felt justified because he had been to numerous family functions and has created very tense moments. I was worried that someone would end up punching this guy out (I didn't want any of my guests arrested because of that idiot). But I also knew that my mother understood my point of view and agreed they were valid (don't get me started on her staying with someone like that) and I knew she would be there whether he was there or not.
If he is as controlling as you say, would he stop her from attending because he wasn't invited? Would it cause issues with your cousin if he's not invited? Do you know he will cause problems or are you just worried? I think its a strong stance and if you don't invite him, you should be prepared for issues with your cousin.
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