i hate being a bride... fourteen months until the big day and i already want to cancel everything.

I'm sorry you feel that way! You have a ways to go, so I'd maybe focus on your job hunt right now, so you feel better about having a consistent paycheck. If you feel pressured from outside family/friends on what to do the day of, stop involving them in planning and just tell them you've taken a planning break.

The only thing you have to do is get a marriage license, an officiant and witnesses. Everything else is optional. If people want you to have certain things then they can pay for it. I can only imagine how losing your job at this time is stressing you out. Focus on getting another job and worry about the wedding later. If it helps tell people any wedding talk is on hold until you have a new job. Take a deep breath, everything will work out as it should.

How much money would you lose if you cancelled?
I'll be honest if I was collecting unemployment and only had $5k as my life savings I would not be spending it on a wedding. I think itd be a smart decision to cancel and elope. Take the stress off.

View Quoted Comment

We're already locked into the venue for $1350 and a little in other expenses. We wanted to have one but everyone, family, friends, and everyone else we've talked to is making it more and more expensive. Several people have offered to "help" but are never specific so we're not counting on it. Everyone's expectations are very high for our wedding as mine will be the last wedding in the family and the only one since 2010 that anyone had the potential to be invited to so my family wants to show us off. My FH is the oldest in his family so they expect a good show from him as well.

My FH has a decent job and we have very little in the way of monthly expenses so even with me on unemployment I can easily cover our monthly expenses combined and all his pay goes to savings. We've done this for a couple years now. We'd have more in savings but we recently put out almost $3000 because he had to pay out of pocket for his tuition this semester finishing his degree. When I had my job we were socking away quite a bit each month and realistically in a few months I'll have a new job and we'll be back up to saving up again. It's not that big a deal but it just feels like a heck of a lot right at this moment.

My future husband keeps laughing when I tell him the things people aren't going to be happy with if we do or will find silly or trashy. In his mind if someone isn't happy with how we want it then they aren't really there for us and shouldn't come in the first place.

If they want something, they need to put their money where their mouth is. Have the wedding you can afford. It should be a celebration of you two and your love. As long as you provide the minimum for your hosting duties, you're fine. They can complain all they want, but if they don't pony up the cash, they have 0 say.

I am so sorry that you are going through that. I am some what in the same boat. My FH and I were planning a destination wedding so we could have the wedding and honeymoon at same time and then we changed it because of family. We are having a wedding in the state that we live but we are only inviting 100 people.. We are having our ceremony and reception at the same location. At the end of the day, its you and your FH wedding. Plan it the way you want it and at the budget you can afford.. My other option for me and my FH was to go to the court house and just have a reception or a cookout. Don't let the stress break you down.. I wish you the best of luck and congratulations on your engagement..

Hey girl. I will let you know my fiance and I are having a tight budget wedding of no more than 2000 because we are the ones paying for it so it is going to be very simple but the wedding we want. The only thing that matters that day and that people should focus on is you guys. not how everything looks or what you have at the wedding. Unless they want to fork up money then they have no say cuz they aren't spending their money. You are spending your money and can spend it any which way you want! That's what ive been telling myself and honestly that's how I got through it!

If it's about vanity for the family then mention to them they have to pay up for the stuff they feel you "need". If it's really that big of a deal they'll find a way to give you the money. Otherwise they are free to shut the h up. Actually they can shut it anyway.
Your wedding will be awesome regardless. Big or small as long as the cops don't show and haul someone off to jail it will be a success.

My family is vain like this. It's important for FH and I to have a beautiful wedding day, but that doesn't mean we're willing to drop 2k on flowers. Being a fairly young couple who's financing this wedding mostly on our own while having student loan debt and searching for a home; we definitely did not feel okay spending a ton on our wedding.

My biggest suggestion to you would be to tell your family members that if they have a certain expectation of how things should be then they need to cover that cost fully, otherwise you will do things in a way which makes you feel the most comfortable.

For example, I was initially set on doing silk flowers because I believe it's incredibly dumb to spend all that money on something that'll die in a week. My mother was hellbent on having real flowers. Our compromise: mom will pay for real flowers but we will purchase them from a wholesale retailer and DIY them. We landed on a budget of $300ish. Because even if I had 2k gifted to me, I'd rather put it towards a new car than stupid flowers.

Be firm and be honest with your loved ones. They should be far more concerned about your future financial stability than they are with how your wedding makes them look.

I don't know. I feel like I was never a typical girl. I never dreamed about my wedding day. I frankly never thought I'd find someone to marry but I lucked into Brandon and we've already been together everyday for over six years. I'm asexual and aromantic but Brandon loves me anyways and he's my partner though thick and thin. We're a team in this life.

We already got strong armed into a much bigger and grander todue than we originally wanted. We wanted to rent a cabin and do a little outside ceremony and house party with maybe thirty people mostly close friends but we got pressured by both of our families to invite a bunch more people so our little cabin got too small and we had to get a bigger venue. Now it's at a smaller banquet hall that doesn't have room for much creativity. My FH worked in the hotel banquet industry for a few years and doesn't want the same old thing he saw literally hundreds of times. I agree with him but that's what everyone wants and expects the standard banquet hall with a DJ, cocktail hour, champagne toast, sit down chicken and steak dinner, fancy decorations and open bar, big wedding cake, observing every stupid old wedding trope ever and we don't want literally any of that but if we suggest any alternative to this idea of the perfect wedding then everyone whines like we canceled Christmas. I don't know everyone says do what you want but I want people to have fun and celebrate with us and not be hung up on little details like what kind of cup everyone drinks out of and what colors the bridal party wears.