I feel like I can't talk to my mom about anything.

I am sorry you guys are having some issues (you and your FH). However, I somewhat understand what your mom is saying.... She might have a different motive than what I am thinking but as a mother you NEVER forget what your daughter confides in you. Maybe she doesn't want to have a different opinion about your FH and instead remain objective.... does that make sense?

WTF??! That's messed up!

Sometimes moms don't want to hear about relationship woes, mainly because it will alter her opinion of FH. Although what she said may have been a lil harsh in delivery, you may want to consider it. I can talk to my mom about things but thats one area I try to keep her out of

That sucks. I am sorry. Maybe you just caught your mom at a bad time.

I wish I could say that she is having an off day. But my mom does this quite often. It really hurts! Not trying to be a drama queen....but crap, it sucks.

I would suggest not venting to your mom about FH. She might end up holding it against him later when things are not as rough. She did you a favor by refusing to listen or talk about these issues.

Eff that shit!! I must have missed your other post, but seriously, moms aren't supposed to be "objective" about their children's partners!! She should be putting YOU first, and right now, she's just being selfish. By not listening to what you have to say, she's discounting your feelings, and assuming everything will all work out okay. Wrong on sooooo many levels. . .

Sounds like something my mother would say..... My mom straight up told me that she can't wait till I get married because then I am his problem. I am sorry your mom said that.

I have a friend who's mother told her - you'll forgive him much faster than I will so please be careful what you share with me. I'm very careful about discussing arguments and frustrations between FH and I with my mom and sister. They love FH but they're alwasy going to be on my side.

Staci...that sounds like something my mom would say! I get that I shouldn't dump all of my issues with my FH on her ....and I don't ever. But when things get rough sometimes I wish she would just lend me her shoulder and say everything is going to be ok. It's one of those feelings where you just want your 'mommy'! lol

Elizabeth...I definitely agree on that point! My mom isn't the type of person I could ever run to if I was ever going through a break up with a boyfriend or a disagreement with a friend, etc. I think I need to keep reminding myself that she is who she is and I can't expect her to change in that regard. But again, sometimes you just want your mom.

PS-- I had a really rotten boyfriend in college. He was awful. Did terrible things I don't want to describe and I never told my mother about. She spent YEARS after we'd broken up talking about how she wanted us to get back together, how great he was, blah blah blah. She didn't "take my word for it" that he was bad, and so she always assumed we broke up over something I did. Instead of holding anything against *him*, she held it against* me*. No, mothers/parents/siblings, etc, need to know the truth, and know when they should put it at the back of their mind, and know when they should remember it.

Like I said, I don't know what is going on with you, but the attitude that you can't share negative things about your partner with your family is one of the reasons abusive relationships can last so long-- the abusee is alienated and distanced from the people who can look out for them.

Your mom is out of line-- I'm sorry

There are definitely some things that happen with FH and I that I just keep from my mom...because I wouldn't want her to harshly judge him. Not all things, but some things.

Barbara...that sounds like an awful situation. What a weight to have to carry around all those years- and I'm so sorry for that. The bright side is that i'm gaining a MIL and she has seemed to show more support during this whole wedding planning than my own mom. I definintely wont run to my MIL and discuss issues about FH (Bad idea- lol). But I do feel like she will be a great source of support for me!