I dropped out of a wedding *vent*

So I was already starting to have second thoughts about being in this wedding because I just don’t support it anymore and I know that he isn’t ready to marry her and I do take marriage seriously and it’s been hard to think of standing up there and pretending to support a marriage that I don’t.

We decided that we can’t be a part of it and told them yesterday. They wouldn’t respond to our messages and when FH went to cancel his tux, they had already called and replaced him (he was a best man). I’m just bummed because it all happened so fast and I really just don’t even want anything to do with them at this point.

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Wow who does that?!?!? I guess they were close friends if your FH was going to be the best man?

Not wanting to have anything to do with them is the most peaceful option that comes to my mind ;-)

Who asked you to be a BM? The groom or the bride/ Sounds like the groom is the one being funny(to your FH) and not the bride(well apart from the fact she is defending her FH, which is expected). I wont say you are wrong but then again, it depends on your friendship with the bride thats y i ask, who asked you to be in the WP. We sometimes find ourselves in situations where we dont like our friends partners but we stick out for them just because we are friends....

Yeah, they have been best friends for years... but the past few years have been really rocky with them. He has done things like this before to my FH, he will just go off on him because he is so jealous of him. It's always about the things he has. I don't get it...

And the house burning thing, that guy has a kid. I mean, who says that to someone??

How long have you been friends with this girl and how close to her were you prior to all of this?

You're not wrong, regardless. I wouldn't want to associate myself with someone who says they're going to burn somebody's house down with their family in it. Inexusable.

@ Gee the bride asked me, but I am not supportive of their marriage and I just found out that she has already replaced me. She never once has called me to talk about this or anything when I tried to talk to her about it.

@Lisa we have been friends for like a year or so and we were only as close as we were because our FH's were best friends.

Nice people :-)

Run as fast and as far as you can. Do you have many mutual friends? I'm curious about reaction from them.

Not really, just the other guy they were with (another groomsman), that was basically death threatened, and his girlfriend, who have also decided not to go.

Wow. What the hell is in the water right now? Kirst's AIL, the now ex-MOH that ruined the bachelorette party and now a groom that want a to burn down his groomsman's house with family in it. That's just crazy. Did the other groomsman drop out too? I agree with Mrs. S. Run, run, run.

@Desiree...i wouldn't worry about it then. It doesn't sound like either of you are going to be missing each other and you're much better off. You don't need people like that in your life.

Second what @Lisa V. said & @Mrs. S. Run. Far. Fast.

Hope the crazy puppy makes you smile.

LMAO Lizz!

I'm also wondering if there's something wild in the air. We haven't had this many violent thread in the same day for quite some time.

Nope your feelings are in the right.

I would also like to say I'd rather someone drop out of my wedding then be in it when they didn't believe in it. Bad juju. I hope you also plan on not attending at all.

I'm focusing on the wrong thing, but...

"he's worked hard for everything he has - the only thing they paid for was his education. "

Do understand that not looking at student loan debt has HELPED your FH tremendously! I just get a bit internally upset when people say "Oh well I got help at first, but after that, it was all me!" like the first part didn't lead to the second or third. Give me a sec and I'll respond to actually what you asked for... lol

It sounds like this situation was a big misunderstanding with additional lead up. I second that backing out was a peaceful option, but I think actually communicating about it after all parties had a chance to simmer down would have been better (in hindsight now I undersand).

Sorry you had to go through that.

@Jasmine we did try to communicate with them. We gave them all day Saturday to calm down and think about things before trying to talk to them. I found out that the groom texted my FH and only said "okay bro, take care." They have already replaced him and don't want to talk to us about any of it. And they are getting married in 4 days. The groom is crazy and it's not as much a misunderstanding as it is realizing that he has serious problems.

I agree that not having student loans is helpful, but the groom had a chance to go to school (paid for as well) and actually do something with his life but chose to drop out (3 different times) and now bounce around from job to job. So there's no reason for him to talk bad about my FH for actually going, finishing, working, buying a house and cars, etc.

Sounds like you guys did the right thing! I would not want to be apart of a wedding for two people like that! They sound horrible. Especially since they found it so easy to replace the two of you without even trying to get you guys to change your minds to try and stay in the wedding. Its not anyones business how your FH got his education, he got it and thats all thats important! Just sounds like pure jealousy and surely sounds like the two of you are better without someone like them in your lives!

@Courtney - Yeah that's one of the things that bothers me the most - instead of talking to us at all (he never called FH to apologize for anything he said), they just said okay and replaced him. Obviously they don't care about us too much anyway.

Holy moly this is crazy...Glad you dropped out, God knows what would've happened Friday...