i don’t want to offend anyone

Yes..this might come off as rude especially where everything is taking place in one spot. I picture it as a full room for the ceremony then a tap on the shoulder for the half that need to leave before the dinner/dancing. I would just not invite those ones..they will totally understand, weddings are expensive.

Nope! Don’t do it. Invite to both or not at all. Believe me, it’s better that you don’t invite them at all, than for them to show up to the ceremony.... see a reception taking place afterward.... and get turned away while others are able to enter 😬 🤦🏽‍♀️

My mom wants to invite a lot of my side of the family but we have a 60 guest limit and right now we are at 37 without even inviting most of my side of the family. I think people would understand if they were not invited at all but to be invited to one and not the other would not be advised.

Once I was invited to a wedding and not the reception and my feelings was hurt so I didn't attend the wedding. I understood that the budget was tight but so was my time.

Osha,
The more I read the responses of everyone and BTW thank you for sharing, I am understanding that inviting someone to a wedding and not the reception is hurtful, disrespectful and rude. I am going to politely let those who are not invited know that unfortunately due to budgetary reasons I am unable to extend them an invitation

thanks for your input

Ali,
wow! 60 guest only! I wish you much luck with that. My fiancé and I each decided to invite 60 guest each. I thought that would be an easy feat. How wrong am I.

I am trusting that that everyone will understand

Sexypoodle,
OMG! I can’t imagine what turning people away would look like. I can foresee Drama! Not worth it

Lauren,
Exactly how I feel. It Is uncomfortable enough to tell someone they are not invited. How much more uncomfortable will it be to tell someone they can not continue to celebrate with us at the reception.

I am going to go with all or nothing.

The idea of a reception is actually based upon hosting the guests that attended the ceremony. It's far more favorable to do the reverse of what you're suggesting because at least some folks get to celebrate with you even if they weren't part of a more intimate ceremony. It's just basic (not necessarily wedding specific) etiquette to thank them for sharing in your special moment day. That's why some folks will just do a dinner afterwards at the minimum.

We were in a similar situation re:money and cutting people from the GL. We did have to cut people and it's certainly upsetting, but the important thing was that we dress the line equally on both sides - his and mine. He has more people, but the cutoff was 1st cousins and no one neither of us never met before. I'm not okay with meeting someone for the first time at my darn wedding. They can Skype/facetime in with another guest or something if they need to feel included 😂, but they'd literally be strangers to me and I just find that strange in general.

Is your date set in stone? We are doing a Sunday wedding at an all inclusive venue and it's 5k cheaper with 20 more guests than my original venue choice on a Saturday.

Jennifer,

This whole thought of inviting some to wedding and not the reception came about because of my first cousins. There are seven brothers and sisters on my dad side of the family and seven brothers and sisters on my mom side of the family. Each brother and sister average about 3 kids each. My first cousins cover about 1/3 of the 60 people I can invite.

My date is in stone. I was able to get a really good discount for holding it on the date I chose
I keep asking myself why didn’t we elope? Just Kidding lol

Andrea,

so true! The right thing to do is all or nothing