i don’t want to offend anyone

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Very doable! Apparently an owner of a nearby donut shop goes to their church and cut them a deal. At our wedding, we're doing donuts for our dessert, and a local donut shop has cake donuts for $.65, which brings our dessert cost to about $100 for 12 dozen.

You could also do Costco cakes! Those things are $18 for like 40 servings or something and they are GOOD.

Yeah I agree with what people are saying here. Not only is it against wedding etiquette, it is hurtful. This is something I wouldn’t budge on if your fiancé has a preference for this 🙁

View Quoted Comment Gen,
I will definitely stick to the 120 guest and vendors I can afford. And that is the amount of money I am comfortably with spending without regret

I dont think its rude. I am getting married at a church and the reception is at a different location but I have heard numerous people tell me they are coming to the church and they are not invited to the reception. I dont know how your invitations are worded but if you want to send invites for the ceremony only that may be best. Although people will always be offended as you cant please everyone it is your day and you have to do whats best for you

View Quoted Comment Megan,
That is great price and thanks for reminding me about Costco. Their cakes are good and inexpensive

View Quoted Comment Dana
You couldn’t be more right. I wish I was getting married at the church and not at the venue. Then I could invite everyone to the wedding and only invite who I want to the reception

View Quoted Comment Is your fiancé Hispanic? I recently learned that people in Chile do that pretty often - invite people to the ceremony and not the reception. Very strangle but that’s how it seems to work in a different country!

View Quoted Comment Nicole,
I am not going to budge on this one. It is very apparent that it is rude. We are not rude people and do not want this one event to leave that impression to our friend and family

View Quoted Comment Paula,
My fiancé is not Hispanic; we both are African American. In our culture traditionally, it is expected to be invited to both ceremony and reception.
I was very curious to hear other thoughts on this tradition. It is very clear that the tradition hasn’t changed

1.) Yes, extremely rude.
2.) Don’t do it.

From my perspective, it's all or nothing. Either invite them to everything or nothing. It would be offensive to be invited to the wedding but not the reception and be aware that one is happening. You will create a lot of confusion and hard feelings. Just invite the number you can afford and do announcements for the rest. People will understand that. Just my opinion.

There is absolutely no way you can invite some people to the ceremony only, and expect them to leave while the reception gets started at the SAME venue. Can you imagine? Are you going to go up to them one by one and kick them out? Thanks for the gift, but you're not welcome to stay for the party?

I honestly feel it's a little odd to livestream your ceremony unless you are having a destination wedding, or you have elderly guests who would have been invited but can't make it. You can record a video of it and post if people want to watch it in your own time, but livestreaming it to local guests also says, Sorry you're not invited, you can watch the boring part.

Some people have weddings in a church. The church will post an announcement, and some of the churchgoers will show up at the ceremony without a formal invite. Such people are not expected to be hosted at the reception. This is the ONLY exception to the all or nothing rule.

You're going to have to stick to your budget and guest count. Don't talk about the wedding to anyone who is not invited. If anyone asks, just say you don't have the budget to invite everyone you wanted to, lets grab a drink later.

View Quoted Comment Its your day !!! Do whats best for you

Coffee and donuts or cake and punch after the ceremony with a more intimate event for close family and friends lmafter that sounds great to me.

Yea it's kind of rude to not invite to the reception since it is a bulk of what a wedding is. I can see your dilemma though!

I personally don’t think it’s rude but that’s only because I can’t picture myself getting offended. It’s not a wedding to please others it’s for you and your fiancé

Don't invite them at all.... My feelings is invite only who you can afford.

My FH wants to tell them to show up to the reception after the dinner if they want to dance and hang out. But he doesn't want to feed everyone 🤷🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️. Personally I would just invite them to ceremony but our ceremony is at our church. And our pastor has already announced it in service. So I am sure people are gonna come without a invite but our reception will be RSVP only.

I wouldn’t. It would be rather hurtful to those who can’t come to the reception.

Good luck explaining this to someone. Honestly I wouldn't go down this route. Those that go to the ceremony should get to go to the reception. Just don't invite them.