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Super April 2024

i don’t want to make my mom mad....

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Carol, on March 1, 2018 at 12:19 PM

My mom and I are pretty close- I’m her only daughter so this planning has been fun to her. While we are close, she is very... strong willed I guess I could say? When she wants something everyone else is wrong kinda deal. And I have spent my entire life trying to please her. So I’ve been trying to figure out how to accessorize my dress (strapless lace aline). I’m very minimalistic, I don’t wear jewelery and I’m pretty determined to not wear anything but earrings on my wedding day as my dress is already busy with the lace and I don’t want to overdo it- especially when it’s not my personality.

My mom’s mother passed away before I was born- I’ve heard wonderful things about her but I just didn’t know her. The two were VERY close- my mom still cries about losing her and I am very sensitive towards that. I can’t imagine how awful it will be someday when she’s gone. when talking about what I was thinking for earrings and shoes today and stating I didn’t like necklaces and wanted simple- she immediately tells me ‘she has a necklace that she wanted me to wear, sorry. It was granny’s.’ And she would send me a picture.

Now. I don’t like drama, and I definitely got my own strong will from her- I know what I want and I am even a bridal stylist and personally I just don’t love necklaces. The biggest thing I want for my wedding day is to have photos of my husband and I forever and how we look in them. So I care a lot about this. My mom is helping out with the wedding financially a little- and is helping quite a bit planning since she lives in my hometown still (our wedding location). But she’s constantly trying to have me do these sentimental things in the wedding like carrying her moms bible down the aisle with me. I am not a sentimental person- I love making my own special memories.

I know now this is something silly to be stressed about but I am and I want to process it now before I go into this so head strong against wearing my grandmothers necklace. I’m trying so hard not to be a bridezilla!

Do i I just shut up and wear a necklace even though I don’t want to? Or do I just explain to my mom that I can’t see myself in it? Help me out with your thoughts please!!

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24 Comments

Super April 2024
Carol · on March 2, 2018 at 5:52 PM
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Update: we compromised and I think we both happy!! I will tie my grandmothers wedding ring and her wedding ring onto my bouquet- thanks every one for your help!
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November 2018
happeningmom · on March 2, 2018 at 6:38 PM
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Carol I didn't mean to imply that you would be rude...I am sure you wouldn't...I was reading everyones comments about its your wedding and you just need to tell her and honestly that makes me angry. I do realize that it is your wedding and you should do everything that you want, but its really not just yours. I know people are going to get angry at my comments but as mom I totally get your moms point of view, and a little bit of the wedding is your parents regardless. They may not be the ones taking the vows but it is symbolic of their baby being an adult and leaving the parent relationship. It is officially shutting the door on the little girl they held grow. The relationship charges as now it is more of a friendship and things become different as well as the concerns and worry for their child. If you do not wish to wear the necklace, then please just tell her that you love her, love your grandmother, but honestly that is not your vision. Offer some suggestions as alternatives. She may be hurt or upset for a little but in the end she will come around and realize that it is your day. Have the florist place the necklace in your bouquet, sew a pocket in the dress and place it there, of think of someway that YOU are comfortable with. Good luck and I wish you the best!
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Super April 2024
Carol · on March 3, 2018 at 10:19 PM
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Thank you I appreciate hearing a mom’s point of view- luckily I talked with her yesterday and we came to the conclusion that I will tie my grandmothers wedding ring around my bouquet along with her wedding ring! I very happy with it and the conversation went well (praise!) thank you SO much for your input!
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November 2018
happeningmom · on March 4, 2018 at 11:41 AM
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Carol I am so happy to see that you both reach an agreement that works for you. IT really will be special for your mom to have hers and your grandmothers ring with you the day of. Everyone keeps saying its my day, its my day, etc and most think that everything is about them and their spouse. Don't get me wrong..it is but it is also your parents day. Most moms have raised their daughters, dreamt about this day and have visualized what their baby will look like walking down the aisle. Most moms want this day to be amazing for their daughter and want her to have everything and anything they want. As you walk down the aisle I am sure your grandma will be watching and your mom will be crying as you will be beautiful! Enjoy your day!
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