i don’t want to make my mom mad....

Can she wear the necklace to the wedding to keep it safe and have you put it on for a few photos so the sentiment is there? Could you wrap it around your bouquet? Could you wear it on your ankle?

I agree I wouldn't want to wear something near my face that I didn't love and have it be in every photo! Is there something else you could wear like a ring or bracelet that isn't so front-and-center? I would put my foot down on this.

I agree. Maybe there's another way to incorporate the necklace?

I'd remind your mom that this is YOUR wedding, not hers. This is supposed to be about your relationship with your future spouse, not your mom's relationship with her mother. To impose all those things on your is super manipulative and selfish IMO. But, I think you could find a way to honor your mom by incorporating the necklace somewhere (not front and center) in the wedding.

These are all good ideas. Also, what about wearing it for the bridal shower or rehearsal?

I think you can incorporate it in another way instead of wearing it. Just explain to her you dont want to wear it but you will incorporate it

"Mom, I love you and I know you want me to wear this necklace but I'm not going to. I don't want to wear any necklace and I'm just sticking to earrings. Thank you for thinking of me, I know the necklace means a lot to you."

You're an adult. Moms stop telling you what to wear when you're 5 years old and you start dressing yourself.

I would compromise but, not give in and wear the necklace. There are lots of ways you can still incorporate it: you could tie it around your bouquet, you could turn it into a bracelet, you could use it as a hairpiece (depending on the style of the necklace, etc. That or maybe ask your mom if she has a pair of earrings that belonged to her Mom that you can wear instead.

My mom offered to lend me my grandma's pearl necklace for the wedding (I knew my grandma and was very close to her). I'm touched but, have a high neckline on my dress so don't plan to wear a necklace. I thanked her, agreed to wait until the dress comes in to see how it looks and suggested that if it doesn't work I'll wear it as a bracelet or we can find another piece I'll wear instead. Simple and no hurt feelings or drama.

It's not silly to worry about this, you're talking about very special personal relationships! It's never silly to care about the feelings of someone you love. Could your mother be happy if you wore her necklace in a few pictures? What about if you wore her necklace to your rehearsal dinner? What if you wrapped her necklace around your bouquet? Would she ever let you repurpose the necklace, like into matching bracelets for you and your mother to both wear? I hope you can work out a compromise that makes you both happy! But don't just "shut up and wear it" if that will make you unhappy, you need to be happy and confident.

Maybe have 1 photo or 2 with the necklace on for your mom, but let her know you don't want to wear it during the ceremony. You could place the bible on your gift table or by your guest book, but if you don't want to carry it, that's totally understandable.

Nope, don't wear it. It's very sweet that you're trying to be sensitive of her feelings, and she should appreciate that!! But it's your wedding and you should be styled in whatever way you think is best. I, personally, am not a fan of necklaces with a wedding dress in general, and I didn't wear one for my wedding, so I totally agree with you on that.

That said, maybe there's an alternative. Does the necklace have a pendant/charm that can be removed from the chain and tied to your bouquet somehow? Or can you have a little pocket attached inside the dress that you can put the necklace in?

As a mother of 4 adult children, of which the youngest never even met her grandmother, (its her wedding I am currently planning) I totally get the thoughts of your mother. Please just don't be rude and say ITS MY WEDDING...believe me she knows that. For me the items not only remind me of my mother, their grandmother, but its to let them be apart of your special day. Something of theirs to be close to you and in my thoughts to protect you. I know it sounds strange but thats how I feel. I was 7 months pregnant with my youngest when my mom died. My daughter has seen the pics, heard the stories, and yes I am very emotional, even almost 29 years later, but I want something of my moms to be with her on that day. What I would suggest is talking to your mom and explaining that you love her, and understand that it is difficult for her not to have your grandmother here. Explain that you have a vision of how you wish to look for your wedding and honestly a necklace is not in your picture. Ask her if she has something that perhaps could be sewn into the dress. My oldest daughter placed a small picture frame of her grandmother into her bouquet. Perhaps finding a common idea to allow her to include your grandmother into the day. Please realize that it is probably very difficult for her as honestly a daughters wedding for a mom is so emotion, pride, love etc and for me I know my mom loved her grandchildren so much and she would be so proud to be able to watch her grandchild get married. Yes it is your day, as you are the one taking the vows, but please remember that part of the day involves your mom, for lack of a better word, giving you away. It is very emotional to some of us.

As a mom myself (and my parents have passed) I get where your mom is coming from and there is room for compromise. You do not want to wear it while you are getting marred - good - stick to that. I would offer to wear it for a few photos or wrap it around the bouquet or wear it to rehearsal dinner if you have one. I, too, had a mom who still cried over her mom passing......so yeah....I get it.

But please be firm: "Mom I will wear it for a few photos however after that I am removing it for you to keep and hold during the ceremony." Then stop talking!!! LOL!

happeningmom has a lot of quality thoughts on this, too!

BTW - my son is going to wear my dad's wingtips from 1956 when I get married. Not for sentimental reasons....he has no dress shoes!!! LOL! But it is kinda cool......

Best wishes and keep us posted.