i don't want to invite my father or aunts/uncle on his side..am i wrong?

My bio mom was in my life almost my whole life but I had to cut her out a couple of years ago and she is not to know I'm getting married until it's done. There are so many reasons we distance ourselves from our biological family, those reasons are our own and are valid. If you would not feel comfortable having your dad there, then don't send the invitation. I will suggest that if others that are getting an invitation are in contact with him, you may wish to contact them directly to let them know of your wishes. I had to let my dad and little brother know that I did not want my bio mom informed and they are respecting my wishes so I don't have an unexpected guest.

Honestly, I don't think you have to justify your feelings on this with dates of when you last spoke, etc. If you don't have a relationship with him, you shouldn't feel obligated to invite him. If having a relationship with him in the future is important to you, I would invite him. If not, don't invite him. If anyone has anything to say about that, it's none of their business. Blood does not give anyone rights. Best of luck to you

You're not obligated to invite anyone to your wedding who you don't want there.

In your beet interest I support your decision to not invite them your not close and your clearly stressing about it stick to your instincts you haven’t spoken to him in a few years clearly your cleared to not invite them please don’t let them guilt you into in

I am not inviting my mother's mother because I have not spoken to her since I was eight. My mother and sisters understanding why, but my brother doesn't, and that's ok with me. I am also not inviting my mother's sister or brothers because we don't have a relationship either. I am not mad at them and I don't suspect they are mad at me for any reason, but a relationship was never fostered there, so I don't feel obligated to offer an invite and I won't. (My older sister got married in July and invited them, and they bailed on her a day before the wedding with excuses. That's something I don't want any part of.)

I am inviting people that I have had relationships with and that gets fostered on both sides. And that gives me peace whether or not others may have an issue with it.

FIL was not invited to our wedding. He wasn't a part of my DH's life since a very early age. I will probably never meet the man. DH's given name was his dad's and mom's hyphenated. When we got engaged I told him I'd only take on his mom's portion as it didn't feel right taking the part that belongs to a man that caused my DH so much sadness. He decided that he would also drop that part of his name so we went to the court house together after we got married and both changed our names to just his mom's.

So yeah I agree with your gut instinct to not invite your dad if he's not a part of your life. DH's step sister was pretty peeved she didn't get an invite when she called us out of the blue after the wedding to say hi. We talked to her and his dad on that call and they were upset but we were like you never talk to us and you haven't been in my life in a really long time so I didn't even know where you were to even try to invite you.

Invite who you want there and whom supports you and your relationship. Don't feel obligated to invite anyone.

I say don't send it. It sounds like in your heart, you feel like you have to out of obligation and not because you want him there for your special day. If he hasn't bothered to stay in contact, it isn't worth the added stress it would cause you. You could always send him a wedding picture later.

I dont think you're obligated to invite ANYONE you dont want there, family included. People feel just because they have titles like parent, aunt, cousin etc that that's an automatic invitation. Not in my book. I invited and deal with those that have forged a relationship with me, period. On what should be the happiest day of your life, drama isnt needed. This doesn't make you wrong, it makes you sensible.

I cut my toxic Bio Mom out of my life 6 yrs ago. I also have an adopted family, who actually attempted to adopt me when I was younger but my Bio Mom pulled herself together at the last minute and put a stop to it. I have invited my entire adopted family but not her. The only blood family I have coming is my brother...We aren't close as we weren't raised together, but he is literally all I have. My bio Dad is in a nursing home, and his family blames me for his health issues...he was an alcoholic and now has End Stage Renal Disease. My wedding guest consists of friends and adopted family. FH on the other hand only has family and no friends. I call it balance. I agree with everyone else this is your day you invite or not invite who you like.

I didn't invite either of my uncles (each of my parents have one brother). They have each caused my parents so much heartache and grief that I didn't want them there, even though both parents said if I wanted to invite them they would be cordial. I have no relationship with them. One never even accepted my friend request on Facebook and neither ever reach out to wish me as much as a happy birthday.

My thought was who cares if they're upset? If they wanted to be part of my life then they could have stepped up and done so previously.

It's your wedding. You deserve to invite only who you truly want

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EVERYTHING Amber said. And also, if anyone does voice any objections, try not to spend any time justifying yourself. Just state your decision and change the subject.

Thank you thank you thank you.

This has settled my first thought, therefore they will not be invited. I love and respect them, i just dont have a relationship with any of them like that. Sabrina i promise you, i was reading your comment and it sounded so like my family matters.

I have always said there is a difference in family vs. relative. And for this i need Family there.

I didn’t invite my paternal unit and I do NOT regret the choice.

I am not about to pretend when there’s an event that we’re NOT a dysfunctional mess. You will not come in at the 4th quarter of the game when I’m winning and be on the news with me. That is for the people that have ALWAYS been there.

He was asked to leave my Mom’s funeral for that reason.

I say do whatever you feel will make you the happiest.

There is nothing wrong with not inviting them. My dad wasn’t invited to my brothers wedding 2 years ago and wouldn’t have been invited to mine either (had he not passed away last year) either will any of his family members. They are not part of my life, and never have been.
Invite people that mean something to you and your fiancé. You are under no obligation to invite anyone, blood related or not.

View Quoted Comment This. Very well put.

I’m sorry that you’re going through all this but all of this is understandable ... at the end of the day this is your big day and personally I think it’s up to you and your fiancé on who u want to invite. Me personally I would not invite people that are not close to me or have not been around me ..Good luck love . And Congratulations on your wedding

You're not wrong at all! I wouldn't invite ant of them! the only people I'm inviting are ones who have always loved and supported me and my FH! Good luck!

My dad and I were very close up until I was 18, then he cheated on my mom and said horrible things to me. I haven’t talked to him since. If you don’t want to invite him, don’t. You don’t have to invite anyone you don’t actually want there. I am not inviting my dad, his dumb wife, or anyone on his side of the family because none of them cared enough when the divorce happened to check up on me. I’m not close to them, and I don’t feel bad about it.