I don't want kids at my reception!

Who is paying?

We're having a no-kid wedding too. Our main reason is because of the cost. It's ok to be a little selfish when you're the one paying for it (if you're the one paying, that is)! Maybe set an age limit..like 13-up or 18-up . I hope that helps. Good luck!

I would just tell the videographer that you do not want him to focus on the kids the whole night, or if that's to blunt, give him a list of things you want him to focus on.

LindaBean has a good point.

It's his wedding too. The two of you need to sit down and compromise. I think that setting an age limit could work and keep it to immediate family children only. I know you said there were a lot of nieces and nephews and honestly if he couldn't imagine his wedding day without them then maybe you can set a cap at just them and no one else. Contrary to what people believe, you can invite "just some" children and not all. Were having an adult only reception because our venue is not conducive for entertaining children at all, but it breaks my heart a little that my nephews won't be there. I always imagined them there, but its not possible. I chose the venue so it was a choice I am living with, but you don't want to build resentment between you two.

Who is paying? I think you and your FH should come to a comprise

I think Lindabean had a good suggestion. If FH really wants his nieces and nephews there (and I can see why he would), I think you should let them come. It's not fair to tell him people that are important to him can't come because you are afraid they will outshine you. You are the bride. You are going to be the focus of the whole day, no matter who else is at the wedding. Just my opinion, of course, but I don't think it's worth getting upset over.

I would do what LindaBean suggested, as that's basically what I did too. We had 13 kids aged 10 & under, plus a 13 yr old & a 16 yr old. But they were our own children as well as DHs nieces & nephews. None of our cousins or friends kids were invited and they were fine with that.

The only children at our reception will be part of the wedding party.

When my brother got married they had their reception open to children until a certain time. maybe you could do something like that?

OP - think beyond the wedding to your marriage. Do you really want to start off your life together with tension and potential bitterness with the in laws? In the grand scheme of things It is one night. I think Rosemary did a good job of illustrating why you should carefully consider your FHs request.

We are having only nieces and nephews. No other kids allowed.

Oh lord. I totally understand people that don't want kids because 1) it's very expensive to pay for food that they won't eat 2) they've witnessed a kid doing something really jerky and disruptive and reasons such as that.

But your reason is that they steal the attention? It sounds like you want the videographer to only focus on you, which is easily remedied by telling him. In the defense of videographers who record children dancing, I suspect it's because it's cute, funny, and they expect that the bride and groom enjoy seeing people they invited having a good time.

I don't know if this is the case, but based on your post, it sounds like you're worried about having to compete with children for attention. That's kind of a ridiculous frame of mind here.

No kids at mine but it's due to the fact I don't feel kids need to be at a wedding reception. It's late at night, their is alcohol around and kids can cause scenes and people don't enjoy themselves as much worrying about their child (I have a daughter. I know how it is)

Even my girl is leaving after photos are taken, I want a night to enjoy myself and be the focus...nothing wrong with that. I didn't spend all this money to not have a good party!

I put on my invitation that due to space, children are limited to family only. I did not want kids touching stuff, crying, running. Or have parents not watching kids. My youngest is 6 his dad is going to the wedding to watch him( ya a little weird) but I want to enjoy my wedding.

Is a future of animosity with your in-laws worth it? Particularly as the reason does seem to be that you don't want to have children take the attention away from you. If your FH wants them there then you need to find a way to compromise.

Yeah, I have to agree with those who are stating to look past the day...not allowing FAMILY to attend the wedding because you don't want to compete for attention is probably not going to go over well. You have to remember too, especially if he is close to his family, that you're marrying them too.

You don't want them to think of you as "that girl who wouldn't allow his family to be with him on his special day."

Its his wedding too.

If the video is something you're worried about, talk to the videographer, and let him/her know that you want the focus on you and your husband, and the bridal party.

Marriage is a compromise, and that starts with making sure that HE is happy at the wedding too...its not all about the bride, its about the bride and groom.

There will probably be lots of kids at my wedding, besides my children in the wedding party. FH has 3 nieces and nephews, along with his God Daughter, 2 of his sisters are pregnant. Two of my sisters are pregnant... Most of our friends have kids. I couldn't imagine asking some of my friends and family to come to a wedding and NOT expect the kids to be there. They're part of the family, and I'd expect the kids to be there too. I've never been to an adult only wedding. Never even heard of it until coming on WW.

Is there a way you could limit the number of children attending? As others have said, it would be shame to start off your marriage and life with your FIL's on the wrong foot. If your FH wants children there you should find a way to compromise. As for kids stealing the spotlight, make sure you talk to your photographer and videographer and say you want the focus to be on you and not the children. If they are good vendors they will listen to your concerns.

I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of kids, but we are extending guests out to nieces and nephews.