i don't want her invited to the bridal shower

The good news is, no one should be invited to a shower unless they are invited to the wedding. So you can just tell her you need to know the guest list before it is finalized, so that she doesn't accidentally invite someone who isn't invited to the wedding. Then if this woman is on the guest list, you can says she needs to come off for that reason, rather than getting into all the issues between you and her.

My opinion tell them its your day and you dont want it ruin you dont have to feel bad about tell them this is how you feel. Im going threw the same thing with my fiance sister but he invited her after i took her out smh but she knows not to come close to me.

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That is great advice and very tactful. A great way to avoid conflict or feelings being hurt. I really appreciate it =)

I provided my sister a list of all the women invited to the wedding and she chose who she invited from that list only. You’re never supposed to invite someone to the shower that isn’t invited to the wedding.

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Sorry you're going through a similar thing! thanks for the advice =)

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Thanks for the advice!

Are you not inviting your Fiance's brother to the wedding?

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No he's invited, the girl is not. We are not doing plus one's so it's not just her that is not invited.

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That's really rude. She's not a Plus One, she's a Significant Other, and all SOs should be invited to social events like weddings together. Plus One refers to a generic guest given to a single person, not someone's boyfriend or girlfriend.

I would just be straight up with her and tell her not to invite the girl you don't like because you don't like her and she's not invited to the wedding either. It's that simple.

But I don't know how your relationship is with the ones throwing your party. I'd easily be able to tell my sister, hey, don't invite so-in-so bc I can't stand them lol

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That's a really good idea!

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Thanks for your input.

So my mother decided to throw my Bridal shower and I just told her I would give her a list of people to invite when she told me how many people could come. It made things so easy on both of us! Why dont you just send them both a message saying you will but together a list of people to invite that would you like there that why they dont have to guess and the party can stay under hand!

If you're not doing plus ones, and she's not invited to the wedding then she's not invited to the shower.
Only women invited to the wedding attend the shower. Just tell them you'll provide the guest list/list of women invited to the wedding for the shower. You don't have to even mention the girl because she's not on the list.
If fiance's brother brings it up just say you didn't do plus ones/unmarried SOs for your guests. It's not uncommon.

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Thanks so much for the advice, i think this is a great idea for many reasons!

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Thanks for the input! Thanks for the advice!

View Quoted Comment Exactly this, & if for some reason they push, tell them you appreciate them taking initiative and throwing your shower, and trying to handle the guest list and inviting who they feel should be there, but the guest list is something the bride needs control over at any function associated with her day. Just like you know who you want at your bachelorette party and no one else should tell you which extra people should go, even though others are planning it, no one should be adding extras to your bridal shower.

View Quoted Comment I don’t think it’s rude to not invite a girlfriend. Fiancés and husband/wives, yes, but bf&gfs it’s hazy. If they’re living together it’s definitely taboo and they have the right to be upset, but I think it’s still a blurred line and the bride and groom have the right to not invite their SO. At least in my area it’s not weird at all if bf/gf isn’t invited if they don’t know them/havent been dating long/they just arent doing bf/gfs, OP didnt even mention how long they’ve been dating. If this girl was anything serious, because she’s dating family I’m sure OP would have made an exception and also discussed that she’s worried about family drama from not inviting this girl.

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I came here to say exactly this! It's 100% truth, and it's 100% tactful

This is also how I handled my shower guest list. Mom, step mom & sister planned it, I just asked to give the guest list a once over so I could make sure there were no "oops, they're not invited to the wedding and I don't want them to think they are" guests!

I definitely agree with giving them either a guest list, or just letting them know specifically that you don't want her at your shower. It is also not very common to invite people who are not invited to the wedding. My cousins are throwing mine and they understand that I know better who I would like to have there (other than family really), so they are letting me decide on the guest list.