I don't like weddings.

Why not just have a courthouse wedding and then cake and punch afterwards? No need for any big party.

E l o p e

Go to the court house and go to dinner, or a bakery after?

The favorite wedding I ever attended was a small wedding in a private room in a restaurant. We had an amazing meal with wine pairings, and the group was small enough that it was easy to converse with everyone.

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Muriel nailed it.

Yes. There's another alternative. It's less expensive and time consuming than a destination wedding, and it's more formal (that means, you'll be served as the VIPs you are) than a home wedding.

Select your small guest list. Let's assume you have 10 - 20 guests you want to invite. Pick one of your favorite restaurants, ask about renting a private room, and have them serve you as dinner guests -- VIPS -- at your wedding.

My father and his new wife did not want a huge affair, but when I suggested the restaurant option, they thought about it and liked it. Fourteen people were treated to a very short, sweet ceremony, and then we were all ushered into a small, private room with a beautifully set table. The bar was open, the apps were great, the dinner options were superb, we toasted them with champagne, they cut a wedding cake, and during the entire three hour affair, they were able to speak to every guest because every guest was sitting around a long table.

It was beautiful, memorable, every guest attended, and the photos? Well, they're wedding photos.

Do you have a favorite restaurant? Plenty of restaurants are willing to host small, intimate weddings.

Your responses have me laughing because none of these options ever occurred to me...and they all make so much sense. Eloping sounds lovely, and way less challenging to plan!

The restaurant idea is great too! Food and wine pairings? You guys are totally speaking my language. Thank you so much for so many wonderful ideas. And in just a few minutes, no less!

Open Table has a list of restaurants with private rooms for many larger cities in the US and Canada.

My oldest got married in an executive high rise apartment in Chicago and then we went to a restaurant for dinner and cake in a private room. There were 11 of us. Only regret was not hiring a photographer. Congrats on your engagement!

I am kinda loving the restaurant idea. I want to see what FH thinks of it, but that may be something for us to look into further!

Love your cake comment lol

We were on the restaurant idea before we ultimately decided to have an intimate ceremony just the two of us. I think the rental for the private room would have only been $100 at the restaurant I was looking into. It was definitely an appealing idea.

Another idea is to go to an elopement venue that isn't the courthouse. There are a few chapels and mansions in my town that act this way, and we're hosting 22 guests at a Justice of the Peace ceremony there, then feeding everyone. It's a beautiful backdrop compared to our courthouse, and it was super cheap to rent for an hour and a half (we wanted photos, too!)

Definitely feel you on this. FH and I were originally pressured to plan a huge, full-blown wedding, and the anxiety and the pressure of that was too much because weddings aren't our thing and we had always wanted something smaller. We put our foot down after a while and now we are planning a 15-guest destination wedding in Hawaii. We chose to do a destination wedding because we really love to travel. It's our thing. We also chose not to elope because I am an only child and I know it would crush my parents not to be there. Know your situation and know your scene, and plan from there. As you have noticed, there are tons of options! Also, I keep telling everyone that aside from marrying my FH and getting two weeks off of work, I am most looking forward to the cake !

Driven by dessert; I LIKE it!

The courthouse idea is only great if you have a gorgeous courthouse. There are about four....lol....NYC is one, and there are a few beauties in CA. Aside from that, usually it's a lot like going to traffic court....and mostly you can't do it on a weekend day of your choice.

We love our restaurant weddings and our ceremonies in small, unusual sites. I'm lucky enough to have a beautiful castle and several chapels near me, but we have a list of close to 60 restaurants with private rooms, wineries and small farms that are very, very sweet. And you CAN have your cake,lol!

You can use sites like Splacer to find little rental spaces too. You could look arboretums, gallery spaces, parks for the ceremony itself, as long as you have a backup plan for rain or extreme weather.

Typically, our restaurant weddings have common elements, one of them being that the restaurant actually likes DOING little weddings and realizes that it's not like throwing 20 people into a private room for a birthday party. This is key.

As an example, one of our favorites, in my area, is the Culinary Center at Ninety Acres in Peapack NJ. It's built in a formerly private mansion at the tippy top of a gorgeous public park. They have a farm to table menu (their farm in the 'backyard")...a small wine cellar party room, a couple of other rooms and two different outside space for the ceremony. Usually we'll have live music for the ceremony and the party; the last people I married there had a jazz/American standards duet,the one's before that a jazz trio and both were just perfect. They found a low key pro photographer to cover their photos. Generally they are about 4-4.5 hours long including the ceremony, and daytime weddings work out beautifully there as they do in many locations like this.

They both chose a giant 'farm table' with everyone sitting around it and a gorgeous garland of leaves and flowers down the middle, a sweet fresh flower trimmed cake and an amazing meal with wine. They did a cocktail hour outside first.

Totally, totally lovely. No favors, no programs, no BP, no drama; just a beautiful party with a great ceremony (ha ha....you KNEW that was coming, right?) and plenty of time for the guests and couple to talk and mingle. Kinda lke Elphabas but a little bigger.

If a big wedding with all that pagentry doesn't suit you (I admit I do love them, but I don't have to plan or pay for them....) this route might be just perfect for you!

Good luck!

In my city, one officiant runs pop up weddings - a bunch of couples get married but have a two or three hour timeslot for a wedding and reception. She even provides flowers and photography.

FH and I seriously considered a cruise wedding. Cheaper and meant for smaller weddings. Then you get to honeymoon at the same time or look at it as a long reception.

We had a destination wedding with 30 guests...pretty much included our parents, siblings and their families, our closest friends and their families, and our God Parents. I only had 1 cousin there but she's more like a sister. It was absolutely PERFECT!! I wouldn't trade a small, intimate wedding over a large, extravagant one any day!! Celebrating all weekend was soo much fun and took so little effort once there!

The wineries near my hometown (middle of nowhere) have private rooms you can rent and people frequently use them for bridal showers etc., so it would be the perfect size for a small wedding.