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Latoya
Devoted February 2020

i don’t know what to do!

Latoya, on November 6, 2019 at 9:29 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 32
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I have a best friend who I have known for years. We have matching tattoos, never hang up without saying I love you, and have always been available and there for one another. She was my BFF and we stopped talking once my wedding planning got serious. I had surgery in June, she was there! Days after while I am recovering, I receive a text out of nowhere of her sending me bridesmaid dresses knowing I already chose their dresses. Every dress she sent was revealing and I told her that, unfortunately, for my wedding I prefer for everyone to look classy without the revealing attire due to elderly family
members that would be attending. The last text I received stated that she guesses she is a hoe at heart. Lmao What does that even mean? I have not talked to her since! She has not tried to reach out to me, she has not asked how I have been, yet remains my friend on FB! She just passed her state board and I traveled with her and was her model for it. She passed so I took her to a vineyard and made the day about her. Why is she acting this way when she knows one of the best days of my life is approaching? Why send dresses knowing I chose them already, to insult me? I am heartbroken y’all and have tried to ignore it, but it is bothering me. She is no longer in the wedding because I have not heard from her and on fb she acts as if I don’t exist. Super weird. I don’t know if I should reach out or delete her and wash my hands! What would you do?

32 Comments

Latest activity by Latoya, on November 9, 2019 at 11:16 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    Honestly, this sounds like you made a mountain out of a mole hill. You said she wasn’t reaching out to you, but were you reaching out to her? Friendships are a two way street. Sending you dresses was a little weird but ending a friendship over something so trivial seems extreme to me.
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  • Latoya
    Devoted February 2020
    Latoya ·
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    I texted her back afterwards and nothing. I was healing from a major surgery so I would
    think she would have eventually asked how I was doing. I mean I would think a good friend would.
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  • S
    Devoted October 2019
    Summer ·
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    Have you tried calling her at all? If not I would call her and ask her how she's been and if she is upset with you. Maybe explain to her that you weren't trying to be mean when you told her you already picked out the dresses. And make sure you listen to what she has to say about it too
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  • E
    Devoted November 2019
    Emily ·
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    I personally would ask to meet up for coffee or drinks, and just say I feel like things have different lately and talk it out
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  • Latoya
    Devoted February 2020
    Latoya ·
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    I have and she was well aware of the dresses I chose. Just a little background: many of my other friends and some family are not fond of her. She can be very selfish and has to be the center of attention, but I am used to her ways. I have known her since we were in high school so it never bothered me until now. I was there for her big day of passing state board, but now it is my turn to get married and shortly after graduate she doesn’t want to be there. I love all of my friends dearly and accept each of them for who they are, but I think it is a little extreme for her to do that to me. I don’t know if I should just let the friendship go or fight for it. She has always been this way and doesn’t keep other friends for long, but I have always excused it because I loved her, but this is another level for me.
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  • Latoya
    Devoted February 2020
    Latoya ·
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    I may do so. If I try this time and nothing I think I am done.
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  • T
    Beginner July 2020
    Tanisha ·
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    I would confront her about it, confrontation doesn't have to be combative. There is no need to assume what is going on when you can go to her and ask for the truth. If after straight up asking she still ignores you then you can walk away clean knowing you tried. Be thankful for situations like this because though it may be painful it revealed someone who may not need to be in your life.

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  • S
    Devoted October 2019
    Summer ·
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    I'm sorry, at this point I would let it go. You have so much to worry about already. If you want to try to save the friendship later on you could still invite her to the wedding but tell her she isn't in it due to lack of communication
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  • Latoya
    Devoted February 2020
    Latoya ·
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    Good point!
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  • Latoya
    Devoted February 2020
    Latoya ·
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    That is exactly how I feel! I work full time, I attend school full time, I have 3 children, and am decorating and diy wedding. I just had a hysterectomy due to endometriosis in June and have had so much going on. All of my friends and family know this. I would think she would reach out to me knowing how much I have going on. She honestly has nothing much going on just working part time so she has a lot of time on her hands. I would think she would reach out or respond to my attempts.
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  • Nonna T
    Master April 2014
    Nonna T ·
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    "I prefer for everyone to look classy" if this is how you said it to her then she feels insulted, hence the "ho" comment.

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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    Well, you said before that she has always been selfish, and that other friends and family don't like her much.......it seems like you've answered your own question. If this girl is that self-centered, and prefers to be the center of attention, then of course she isn't going to reach out to you. People like that generally don't like it when others suddenly get all the attention. Like when a bride-to-be is planning her wedding, she is usually the center of attention. That probably doesn't sit too well with your friend.

    You might have to face the fact that things going on in your life right now are just too much for this girl to deal with--since none of it is about her. You may have to let her go.

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  • Latoya
    Devoted February 2020
    Latoya ·
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    No ma’am hoe comment came first, that was my response. I’m offended that she sent dresses that showed half her body knowing I chose my dresses already. I was in no way rude about it.
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  • Latoya
    Devoted February 2020
    Latoya ·
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    That is exactly what everyone who knows both of us has said. I just am very sad that it has come to this because I thought we were better than this. Honestly, you are right though. I see it as her loss not mine. I know my worth and if she cannot let me have a moment for once then that isn’t my problem. Thank you.
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    What exactly did you say before the ho comment?

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  • Jay1
    Savvy June 2021
    Jay1 ·
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    You didn't do anything wrong. I would just let it go. Weddings are stressful enough as it is. You tried and she's ignoring you. I can't imagine what her behavior would be on your actual wedding day. Save the stress.

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  • Stephanie
    Super July 2020
    Stephanie ·
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    I think there needs to be a conversation had so that both of you have a clear understanding as to what is going on, why, and how to move forward.

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  • Latoya
    Devoted February 2020
    Latoya ·
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    I told her that I chose the dresses I did due to our family having religious elders. The dresses I chose were sexy just didn’t have a huge slip to the crouch or the top doesn’t have boobs hanging out. My friend always makes this comment. This comment was not made due to what I said she always states she is a hoe at heart.

    i don’t know what to do! 1
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  • Latoya
    Devoted February 2020
    Latoya ·
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    I have tried and nothing. This girl is wild and I get it, but for one day you can’t give me the attention and let me have ONE day. It saddens me because I have always folded and accepted her which many didn’t. I love her because she can be a great friend to me, but she is taking this to the extreme.
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  • Latoya
    Devoted February 2020
    Latoya ·
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    I honestly did not do anything wrong which is why I am so confused for why she is allowing this to break us. But as everyone else says, she is upset bc it is my turn to shine. I may try one more sit down and if not that is it I’m done. I guess you see true colors when times get tough.
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