i didn’t ask my older sisters to be my bridesmaids...

I had a similar issue with 2 of my good friends. I simply told them I needed eyes downstairs, if everyone I trust was with me and in the wedding who would assure my wedding was running smoothly while I'm getting dressed. 🤷🏾‍♀️ hey it worked and they understood

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I wasn’t expecting anything and I think I just thought maybe by asking them to do things would make it better, but I agree I’m reacting insensitive. That’s usually what happens and then I look like the bad person when my intent wasn’t to become insensitive. I’m definitely not going to ask them to do anything. I like the reading idea.

View Quoted Comment That sounds like a great idea as well. Thank you.

View Quoted Comment I love this idea!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I completely agree. I always wanted to be closer to them growing up, but they were never really there for me. I never hear from my oldest sister unless she wants me to get her shampoo or hair products( I have my Cosmo License) Other than that, she never calls me. I only talked to her when I would take my nieces to dinner or a movie and she would never come with.

That's a good suggestion. My fiance pushed me to have my sister share a house with us when we first moved in together. I had already decided not to live with her because its so frustrating and I told him heceiukd regret it. It was fine for like 2 weeks and then it nearly tore our family apart because he was crazy and she was crazy and she badmouthed him BADLY to my family. She wouldn't let it pass until I gave an ultimatum that I wouldn't be at family gatherings with her. My parents weren't having it and it started to change 180 degrees. It's been good but asking her to stand up was a little much. He was going to have 2 guys and my MOH. My mom told my sister and I think she was a little hurt. My fianced oked for me to ask her and she was so excited but acted cool about it. I think it is another big step in healing even though they really dont like each other much. They are making it work for me and the family. I'm blessed. Weddings have a way to bring out the best and worst in people but it also can seem like a confirmation of their "standing" in your life. I think you should come up with some way to include them (not task or money related) but more like you would for a mother/grandmother since they are like aunts. I like the reading idea or something that gives them recognition of their role in your life. Being point person with vendors is cool too (if you trust them to do that). Make it seem like that was always the plan so that they dont feel like an after-thought. You can't include everyone and it should be what you want. Just remember that these are long-term relationships that a wedding should enhance (not hurt) so do your best to make people feel needed and special if you can. Maybe they can work together to narrow down list of vendors or something that is enjoyable in planning. I dont think it's cool to throw your own shower or ask anyone to do it. Sometimes you can ask mom to get it rolling with someone by her asking "is anyone arranging a shower". I'm not having one and I feel too old and established to need one like a younger bride. Sometimes you are at the mercy of the people you chose in your wedding party to initiate that kind of stuff. Your older sisters might have known to do that if they were in your wedding party while younger nieces probably wouldnt think about it or have the money for it. Just enjoy the ride and keep it positive. Just my thoughts but I could be off base

View Quoted Comment I have a similar situation with my sisters. They are all 12-30 years older than me and there are 4 of them. I would LOVE to be closer to them, but haven’t figured out how to do it yet. I’m hoping my wedding will provide me opportunities though. One of my sisters offered me her ranch for the wedding, so I am pretty sure she and I will be spending more time together which is a start.

If you’re concerned about ruining the relationship, maybe ask them out for lunch and explain it to them.

I did the same thing, but mostly because weddings are expensive and I didn’t want them spending extra money on bridesmaids things. My middle sister understood and was grateful; my oldest sister has been a jerk about it all. I included their kids so family would still be in the wedding, invited them to the bachelorette, invited them for when I tried on dresses, and included them in family group texts. My middle sister has been completely supportive and has made it to everything; oldest sister has been pouty and judgmental behind my back. Like PP have said, you’ll never please everyone. I am paying for my middle sister’s hair as a thank you for how amazing she has been!

It’s yours and your significant others day; therefore the only people who NEED to be happy is you two! Family drama can be stressful and take away for the bliss of the time. If you would like to, and only if you would like to, maybe ask them to be part of the progressional. Not as a bridesmaid, but walk in before the parents and bridal party. That way they stand out for the other guests, feel somewhat included, can wear they’re own dresses and hopefully are appeased.
Congratulations! I hope things work out for you.

View Quoted Comment That’s so awesome!

View Quoted Comment Thanks
Maybe you can use your wedding as an excuse to engage them more than usual. Maybe suggest you all do lunch then ask them for their advice on some things. That could help them feel more important.

They are acting a bit immature! But, I would explain to them that you feel closer to your nieces and wanted them beside you. I think being honest will help them see! I would maybe include them in the dress shopping if you would feel comfortable doing that! (if they are mean during that dress appointment though, say you're getting tired and pull your consultant aside and explain that you want to come back soon, just without them, and they will set up another appointment for you discreetly!)

Are they having jealousy issues?

View Quoted Comment I would say yes! They always try and make me look like the bad one.

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