I can't stand my Maid Of Honor -- 12 until my wedding -- HELP!!!

(continued from above) "but he looks so good.. and we match!!!" I was dumbfounded - he is NOT supposed to match you you stupid idiot... so I told her that I do not want him in anything similar to the bridal party, and that he should just get black (standard etiquette). I then asked her a few days later if everything was good with his tux, to which she replied that "he hasn't decided on a color yet, but that she is aware of what he can't wear, but whatever he wants is "cool with her" - last time I checked... she doesn't get to decide Sorry this is so long.. I don't know what to do. I can't stand her!!! And another thing (these are two of many): At my final fitting I was trying to see myself in the mirror, and the idiot stood in front of me... blocking my view and the seamstresses.. and then she got upset when asked her to move! I am planning on talking to her about this and everything else after the wedding... but I don't even want her near me during the wedding... WHAT DO I DO?

Talk to her before the wedding ... she may not be aware that she is bothering you. Everything will be much better if you talk to her now and don't wait.

If she takes it badly and gets mad, then she may drop out and save you stress on your big day. In which case, she wasn't a good friend. If she is, then she will be glad you expressed your frustrations so she can help make your big day as great as it can be.

If you chose her to be your MOH, you should be able to have this conversation!

Wow, I'm sorry! He doesn't need to wear a tux period!

Oh wow, well it seems like she's going to upset you at the wedding so it's better you tell her how you feel about her and what bothers you and explain that it is your special day. If she gets fussy about her then she shouldn't come

Ya you need yo talk to her before the wedding. and tracey write she mit get mad or she will be a good friend and stop.

I want to talk to her before the wedding... but how do I tell her that I don't even know who she is anymore, I can't stand being around her, I think she is wasting her life with this guy... and that I don't know if we can even be friends anymore? Sorry.. just venting.. but I agree that I should speak with her... I just don't know if I will be able to say only what needs to be said (only things related to the wedding) OR if I will just start saying everything.... Its times like this that I wish I never asked her... We are not even having a "bridal party" - only our parents, siblings, and best man and maid-of-(dis)honor... and ring bearer and flower girl...

but I wish we just went with family... I love my FH best man... but at this point.. I wish there was no one but family

I know that I am stressed... and frustrated... and I just want to thank all of you girls for reading this and offering advice... It really means a lot to me that you would take a minute to help me out

I am having a similar (although less dramatic) situation, in that my maid of honor has changed a lot and we are no longer as close as we once were, and I regret asking her to be my maid of honor instead of other friends who I now realize I am much closer to. I'm still about a year away from my wedding, theoretically lots of time to figure things out, but I'm pretty lost about what to do too. I hope you get things worked out, sorry I can only sympathize and not help!

Maybe the conversation with her could be more about how you feel the two of have drifted apart... Try not to blame her entirely. It is possible that you have grown and changed too, and that's part of what makes her so unappealing now. Unless, of course, you're no longer invested in the relationship with her. Then you could tell her how you feel and dismiss her as MOH. Do you have someone who step into MOH role? Your day is so close.

Hang in there and try not to stress to much Your almost though this.I would save the serous convo (the person she is or has become) for after the wedding but def talk about the wedding related things that shes doing thats bothering you cause the last thing you want is this girl making you unhappy on what will be one of the happiest days of your life.

I agree..most def talk to her before the wedding. Calmly tell her how you feel..how she's acting..how she is making you feel like crap and hopefully she'll realize it. If not..you're better off without her Good luck!

This is tough and I feel bad for you. Why did you ask her to be your MOH in the first place? I wouldn't have given that role to an old friend that I hadn't stayed in contact with. I think it'd be very rude to kick her out, but in this case I'd say it's better to be rude then miserable. Whatever you do don't tell her you can't stand her. It's your day but she is a person with feelings. Tell her you have concerns that you and she have grown apart. You know you asked her to be your MOH but it doesn't seem to be working out. Thank her for what she's done, reimberse her any money she's already spent to be in the wedding. If possible soften the blow by giving her the opportunity to be a guest and be understanding if she is so hurt that she decides not to come.

If you want to remain friends with her after the wedding (which it sounds like you do), I would only address the wedding related issues before the wedding. Sit down and talk about what's going on. Her boyfriend certainly should not be wearing a tux. Your wedding is in 2 weeks....the last thing you really need to do is get into a big fight with your MOH about her boyfriend, complaining, etc. Friends often grow apart...but the best way to prevent a bad fall out is to be open and honest- Communication is key to any relationship.

Good luck to you and congrats on your wedding! You have stumbled upon a wonderful place to vent and also share ideas!

OMG - I'm sorry. I'm not sure if there is much you can do besides talk to her. I'm sure she will understand if you tell her that its important to you that her bf wear a different "shade" of blue and silver for his tux perhaps. Keep us updated. Good luck.

Honestly I would not open up this can of worms so close to your wedding. What I'd probably do at this point is just limit my exposure to her. What are your plans for the day of the wedding? Are yall supposed to get your hair/makeup done together? Getting dressed at the same place? Don't do it if you don't have to. Just fly solo and just meet her at the church. She'll only just be standign there during hte ceremony and then for the reception, have a sweetheart table and seat her at the table with her boyfriend. Then after the wedding, have a talk with her about the observations you've made during the planning process.

Honestly, this close to your wedding, I would keep my mouth shut and try to stay away from her at the wedding. Then after talk to her about everything. You're stressed enough as it is, there's no reason to go and cause more stress for yourself by having that talk with her right now.

I'm just afraid that if you don't have the conversation now, then you'll have a miserable wedding day. It's kind of hard to avoid the MOH and hating your MOH defeats the purpose of having one. Worst case scenario, she drops out and you spend the day without her, which it sounds like you would prefer anyway!

I've seen wedding ruin friendships before, yours may be no different. If she's not going to be a friend after the wedding, why have her be one AT the wedding?