Hyphenated last names vs not!

My mom did. She is in private practice and didn't want the mess that comes with changing her name. I will be dropping my maiden name entirely. Both my maiden is Italian and my married is French. Both are four syllables long. My middle name is my mothers maiden name. It would all be a bit of a mouthful (12 syllables).

Sorry, hidden comment and this are duplicates because of computer error.

I'm taking his name, but I'm temporarily professionally using both. I just started a new job and graduated from law school. Several of my connections (important in my field) know me by my old name and don't necessarily know I'm getting married. As a result, I'm legally changing my name to his with my maiden name as a second middle name, but professionally this first year am going by Mrs. Augustlawbride Maidenname NewLastname.

You have to do what works for you. And with the exception of a few places (doctor's office, law office, dmv, plane tickets) can socially go by one name and legally be called another.

I completely understand not wanting to take your husband's last name, but I don't think hyphenating is the answer. Let's say you hyphenate and your future child's last name is now Wilson-Jones. Child grows up and marries someone who also has a hyphenated name. Like you, they decide neither wants to take the other's name, so they combine. Your child now has 4 last names. This is the whole reason society came up with the idea of sharing one last name. I think keeping your own name is totally fine, but if you want a "family" name for the sake of children, just pick one or the other. It doesn't need to be the default that the wife takes the husband's name- he could take hers if she feels especially connected to it.

Also, if you plan on having children, you need to think about how having a hyphenated name will affect them. Like Sarah said above, every kid I knew growing up with two last names HATED it. It never fit on forms and made obtaining documents correctly very difficult.

@Sos0033 agreed on kids, although most kids I know with hyphenated last names had effectively dropped one by college thereby determining which one would stick.

@FutureMrsC, that's hilarious!!! Mine isn't quite as funny, but Valley-Ruddy doesn't really just roll off the tongue, either.

I think I've decided to take his name legally and socially (although I haven't told him I'm considering legally, yet) and keeping my maiden name professionally as I work in academia and have published under my maiden name. The thought of trying to update my CV to indicate the name change hurts my head.

@augustlawbride that's interesting. I wonder if it ever creates animosity though? Like if you chose to keep the name that was your mom's, would your dad be hurt? Idk.

@sos0033 yeah I always kind of wondered that too but for example the friends I knew that were Jane Smith – Jones usually so we're on the role as Smith – Jones but everyone knew as Jane Jones.

Sometime it would be the first one and sometimes it would be the last but it was rarely both in either College or law school.

I'd like you sometimes I wonder how they picked or if they picked or if it just kind of evolved

I currently have a hyphenated last name, culturally where I am from you are given both your dad and mom last name. I think it is very special that my family name is from both my dad and my mom. So far I haven't decided what I am going to do after we get married, very likely I will drop one, but hyphenate FH and one of my last names. And, hopefully if we have kids they will have both of our last names since our family is not only FH but me as well. I have lived my whole life with both last names and honestly I haven't had any problems, you just get used to it I guess.

@Lval82 - I am in the same academia situation. I was considering adding his name after mine (two last names, no hyphen) and just using my maiden name for work and his name for everything else. I just can't seem to find any legal information on how this works (e.g., would it be ok to publish with just the one last name and not both?) Do you know anything about how to use your maiden professionally if you legally change/add your married name?

Gonna take maiden as middle and drop my middle and take FH as last

My maiden name didn't flow well into my married name. They just didn't sound right together, so I didn't hyphenate.

I'm not hyphenating my name. I think it would look and sound stupid. I am probably just going to change my last name.

I'm dropping the Monday after my wedding!!!!

Hyphenating my future last name and my own would be a pain in the ass. 8 letters in mine, 12 in his. Nope. I have yet to determine how I want to handle my work situation and my name. FH seems annoyed that I haven't figured out how I want to handle it professionally. We work for the same company and well both of our names are 'youre related if you see someone else with this name' type of names.

My daughter has a hyphenated last name (mine and her fathers, we weren't married when she was born) and it's been a total nightmare! She's 18 now and will be changing to just my name soon so I plan to keep my name when I get married. Not to mention my FIs last name is terrible.

Long story short because of all the annoyances with my daughters hyphen I would never do it again.

@Debra P. - it probably depends on the organization you are working for. When my daughter was in grade school she was registered with both names but the school only used my last name because that's what we requested. Her college now requires both be used which is a nightmare. Her email address is so long! Lol

Our credit union however was kind enough to just use one name on her debit card even though both are legally on the account.