Danielle
Savvy September 2019

Hyphen or Changing Last Name?

Danielle, on July 28, 2019 at 10:40 PM

Posted in Married Life 129

I'm really stuck on whether to change my last name or to hyphenate my last name. If I hyphenate, my last name will be fairly long at 14 letters. What is every one else doing? Any tips?

I'm really stuck on whether to change my last name or to hyphenate my last name. If I hyphenate, my last name will be fairly long at 14 letters.

What is every one else doing? Any tips?

129 Comments

  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    I will for sure be changing my last name as we both have long last names and I'm fairly confident I will never want to mess with writing both names out on documents.

    • Reply
  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
    • Flag

    Not sure I can offer tips. We are going from simple, one-syllable last names to hyphenating our maiden names. It's a lot! But it was truly important to us and that really is the bottom line, what means most to you. People can get used to a longer name just as easy as the one last name.

    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    I changed my name because I just really wanted to share a name with my husband and with our future kids. Not that NOT sharing a name makes you less of a family or anything but..... to me, it felt symbolic of becoming our own family.

    I like the idea of hyphenating in theory, but for practicality purposes it just seems like waaaay too much of a pain to be worth it. I would’ve just kept my maiden name sooner than hyphenating.

    I did keep my maiden name as a second middle name. It’s really only relevant on my social security card (license and other things usually only allow for one middle initial) but it makes me feel better in my mind I know it’s still technically legally part of my name and I feel more connected to my family
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag
    I’m hyphenating and my last name & it will be 16 letters total, 17 if you include the hyphen. Yea, it’s long, but I don’t really care. Keeping my current last name is more important to me than what people think about the length of my name. I’m an only child so I did not want to lose my last name completely. I’m also very established professionally and did not want to worry with completely losing my last name. However, my FW & I having the same last name was important to both of us. Especially when we have children. So we have decided to hyphenate of our names. So we will both have the same hyphenated last name.
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    We wanted to do this!!! But every name we came up with was absurdly awful lol.
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    I’ve bern debating this myself and my FH said he doesn’t care if I decide to keep my name. My last name would be 16 letters if I hyphenated since we both have long last names and a complete mouthful. The major thing that keeps sticking in my head is how much it has bothered me the past couple years not to have the same last name as our kids, so mainly for that reason I’ll take his name. Other options we considered are combining our last names into one, but either way it just sounds strange; and coming up with something new for all of us. Both of those options require us to change 4 peoples names (we have two kids), which sounds extra stressful! There’s no right or wrong answer. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • Kate
    Devoted November 2019
    Kate ·
    • Flag
    It all depends on your personal preferences. Personally, I am planning to take FH's last name, drop my given middle name, and move my maiden name into the "middle name" spot. My given middle name is really common, and I don't have a huge attachment to it. Like some PP's, I see it as a symbol of being a family together. My sister hyphenated her name when she got married. It's a mouthful (5 syllables / 13 letters), but she seems happy with her choice too! Everyone is different.
    • Reply
  • Florida Marlins
    Expert October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·
    • Flag

    It is a personal decision, do what is comfortable for you. My first time at the marriage apple I did First Maiden Married. When I become unmarried I went back to First Middle Maiden. My maiden name has three syllables and while not horribly long I did not want to hyphen it. So this time I am First Middle Married.

    I would suggest writing them out, saying them out loud to see what feels the best for you! Best wishes!!!

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    He's taking my name. We discussed it a lot and at the end of the day I have much more things in my name than he does in his, he didn't like his name as much. I wouldn't worry about changing it until you're less than three months out.
    • Reply
  • A
    Savvy June 2019
    Alex ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah it took us a few months to come up with something good.
    • Reply
  • Ellie
    Devoted January 2020
    Ellie ·
    • Flag

    I'm going to be changing my last name to his. I guess we're a bit traditional in that sense. Not to mention as someone who works in tech I've seen cases where adding extra characters and having lengthy names can cause all sorts of headaches when it comes to forms and etc.

    However, there were moments I felt conflicted about it and considered hyphenating because I love my last name and I love my immediate family but marriage is about crafting your own family. And I think about the fact that we all had the same last name and it's because my mom chose to change hers and I wanna do the same for our future children.

    • Reply
  • Kalie
    Dedicated June 2020
    Kalie ·
    • Flag
    I’m changing my last name only because I like that traditional way of doing so for myself.. however I think hyphening your last name or keeping it as your maiden name is also a very good choice. It shows that you aren’t leaving that behind. Whatever you choose to do should fit you how you want to do it. If you hyphen your last name, just be aware of those 14 letters, that may get frustrating when having to put your name down
    • Reply
  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
    • Flag

    I kept my last name. Honestly, I've never seen the point of hyphenating, unless he is doing it, too. Otherwise, you go through all the hassle of a name change, and still don't end up sharing a last name.

    • Reply
  • Makenzye
    Devoted July 2019
    Makenzye ·
    • Flag
    So for me it was hard to get rid of my maiden name, so I made my maiden name my middle and my last my husbands name.
    • Reply
  • Sara
    Dedicated September 2019
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    I'm changing my last name to his. My current last name is my ex husband's which drives FH NUTS. Pretty sure the only reason he wants to get married is so I can change it haha. My initials aren't changing though so that's a plus.

    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Devoted October 2020
    Lisa ·
    • Flag

    I love my last name and I have never met anyone else with it (outside of family) but, I am changing my last name. I want to have the same last name as my FH and our future children. It is a personal preference though.

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Expert September 2019
    Laura ·
    • Flag

    It's honestly up to you and what you prefer. I will be changing my last name. I've personally never liked the whole idea of hyphenating my last name. My last name is already long, so I don't want to add another one lol Plus I feel it would be easier to just have one last name.

    • Reply
  • Julia
    Savvy October 2022
    Julia ·
    • Flag
    I have thought about hyphenating my last name but people already pronounce and misspell it. I feel when I take my FH’s we will be one and if we have kids I want them to have my fh’s last name.
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    Honestly it’s a personal decision. I communicate a lot via email & I didn’t want a 13 letter name. Plus my last name is a bit problematic as it’s my mom’s maiden name & not my dad’s name.
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I can understand that being a problem for him Smiley smile
    • Reply

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