Husband is the best man, where does that leave me?

Personally I don't think it matters if I attend. Although i have no issues with my BIL doesnt mean we have a great relationship..there is a lot of history with my DH family that I am not including either. If you had to deal worth it, you would understand. When it comes down to it "everything" is MY fault. The only question is if it would be appropriate to either talk to my BIL or husband regarding the seating at the reception. That is all...pretty much given the circumstances that I will be alone. I just don't want it to be a 'surprise' your seated outside alone!

Thank you for referring me as a troll.. lol.. just because I don't get along with my DH family doesn't mean my Husband and I shouldn't have gotten married? We love each other that's what matters.. my parents LOVE my DH.

i see rant posts all the time. You don't really know the situation with his family and everything that has happend. Many people dispise his mother with how she is.. so this isn't just my experience.

Im actually trying to be positive about the situation, but if you knew anything about the last 8 years, im not the negative person here.. i just know what to expect. Husband doesn't have close ties with his family anymore, only his brother. After his mother talked badly about me to my DH he didn't speak to her since-but that will not stop her from talking about me to the rest of the family at the wedding. It's just not a situation I'd like to be in.. but you are right, I have a hard time going at things alone.

Also my future SIL hasn't made an attempt to be my friend either. Quite honestly, my BIL makes it difficult to do so with him questioning for the last year if he was going to call off the wedding :-/

Besides my husband actually wanting me to be there, I wouldn't have a hard time deciding.

I still don't see the issue. Your husband wants you there and you have no issue with your BIL. Just because your SIL hasn't reached out doesn't mean you should skip the wedding.

I don't think it's appropriate to ask the bride and groom to seat you with your husband.I personally feel that you should never split up bridal party members from their partners, but not everyone does. If you don't, sit with your children and enjoy the food. Smile, eat, leave after dinner (maybe without your husband if he wants to stay). You don't need to talk to your in laws.

I'm defensive because I'm being told I'm rude, a troll, etc.. if I wanted those opinions I would've asked.. i just don't want to be alone, I don't think that's too much to ask for.

I have been to my uncles wedding with my mother and sister, my dad was the groomsman. We were left out.. no one talked to us and we were outsiders. Looks like history is repeating itself..

Seemingly the more you post, the more defensive you become. Your description of the situation seems to drip with anger. Here's the problem: you asked for confirmation on something that you had a specific answer to already in your mind. No one here knows how you feel since you've chosen to keep your situation private. That's okay, but you have to understand that because of that, not everyone is going to see it from your perspective and will thus disagree with you.

You can't control what opinions people give you unless you control the situation by not asking for opinions.

Call the couple, and ask if they are seating members of the wedding party with their significant others. If they are, great! If not, you obviously don't want to go, so don't. If your husband has a problem with that, that's something the two of you need to work out.

If your situation is at the point I think it is, I know how frightening this prospect is for you. As human beings, we absolutely hate feeling excluded.

First of all, I would say that 90% of the wedding we do feature sweetheart tables. This leaves the bridal party free to sit with their spouses or SOs. If the couple is doing a sweetheart table, your husband must insist that you are seated with him --- no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Whether he is at a head table or sitting with you, politely endure the ceremony and the cocktail hour with your children. It won't be fun, but you can do it. Have your meal, and then take your six year old kids home. There is nothing wrong with getting your kids home at a decent time. Your husband may stay, or he may leave, but either way, you will be free to go early. Then, it will be over.

I'm sorry that you have such a bad relationship with your husband's family, but really, for him woman up, suck it up and stick it out. Go, eat, dance, look great and try to enjoy.

ETA: From your posts it seems like you have already decided, if you stop responding and changing your OP you probably wouldn't get anymore responses. I, for example, had nothing to add to this this morning, but thought it was a different post because of the OP change so here I am, giving you the same advice that you don't want to hear.

I have a b!tch for a FMIL and FFIL - they are both psychotic, and most people cannot believe the things that they have done or said to me and FH...there is a reason why he cut them out of his life. So trust me, I understand having really negative feelings towards your in-laws, and I have been dealing with this for 9 fraking years.

This is your BILs wedding - it is to celebrate him, and your FH is being honored in the wedding by being a groomsman. If you are honestly telling us that you don't care enough about supporting your BIL and seeing your FH being honored all because you *may* not be able to sit with your husband, you are one of the most selfish people on this forum.

I know you feel like you're being ganged up on, but you asked the question...and we are here to provide honest feedback. I think you'd rather hear it from us rather than people in your own family. We've all been in this position, I know I have (I posted one about gifts for bridesmaids). This is part of what makes this site so great...you get honest to god truthful feedback, even if some of it hurts.

I would go looking fabulous, mingle with the bride's relatives & friends (who don't know you and have no reason to not be polite), ignore your in-laws if they ignore you, and show that you can have a good time in spite of them.

I said this ALMOST SOUNDS like a troll, not that you were one. Reason being, this is your only post on this forum, it's long and dripping with anger as another PP said, you continue to get increasingly defensive, and you are not being very flexible where I feel people usually would be flexible. I don't think anyone is going to sit you outside while everyone eats inside. I find it hard to believe that someone did that to you in the first place because that's not really how weddings work (there's usually a designated eating area). Also, you have rings as your avatar. Pretty much anyone with rings as their avatar is going to be looked at with a little skepticism on this forum when they first start posting.

Being that this is your BIL's wedding, there's BOUND to be people there you don't know. Go talk to them. Ignore the inlaws you don't get along with.

It does seem like you've decided this is going to be awful and terrible without looking at all the ways you could have fun. You'll have your husband, even if you can't sit with him. You'll have your kids. You'll have your BIL. And there will be strangers you can converse with. There are tons of opportunities here. Consider them, and don't let your inlaws ruin the day for you just because they will be there.

Maybe you will get lucky and they will have a "sweetheart" table instead of a head-table! And I purposely didn't chose the date I REALLY wanted 8-8, cause it will be 8 years of us being together because it HAPPENS to be my Nieces 8th birthday! Make sure your fsil knows how rocky your relationship is with your in-laws so she can seat you accordingly. Maybe ask your bil and fsil if you can get together and have dinner before the wedding to talk it over with them. Maybe they will introduce you to their friends so you can have more people to talk to at their wedding.

I actually stopped reading the comments after I saw BunnyLove called you by Tonya. Clearly you've changed your name since yesterday= troll.

I don't see why you can't just go, sit alone at the ceremony, sit in your assigned seat at the reception (most receptions have assigned tables), then go home once dinner is over? Just direct all your attention to your kids. That's what my SIL's do, lol.

I actually went to a wedding with FH after a month of dating. FH was in the wedding and I only knew 2 people. I sat by myself most of the night, but still managed to make a few friends and enjoy myself. It's what you make of it. There will be other people there, not just your in-laws. You really need to suck it up.