Husband is the best man, where does that leave me?

You have a good relationship with your hubby's brother you should go support him. Be charming and mature because it's just one day. Unfortunately this Isnwhat you married into and these are things you have to attend. The good thing is at the end of the day you don't have to go home to these people. And I'm sure you will make friends with other party goers outside of the family circle. And don't be bent out of shape about it being your birthday. My wedding is the weekend of 2 of my friends birthdays and I just about lost my shit when they brought it up. You have a birthday every year and only one wedding a lifetime. I think it will be ok to reschedule a birthday bash for the sake of a lifetime milestone.

As a wedding guest you can't really request where you sit. If your husband is in the bridal party the bride will get to choose where you sit if she has assigned seating and you will just have to grin and bear it, sorry. You may get to sit with your husband, you may not.

Tonya, will this be the first event with FH's family that you will attend? If not, I'm sure there will be other family member's there that you can socialize with. Also, this is a great opportunity to meet your future SIL's family and get to know them.

Tonya, don't look at this as the glass is half empty.

Lol I don't think anyone understands when I say that I have no one to sit with. I don't get along with any of my husband's family. It has been 8 years and nothing will change. You say that this will not be the last/first event. See that's where you are wrong.. I will not be attending anything with my MIL included. She has made it very clear that she does not want me in her life. That bridge is burned, there's no rebuilding. I have no desire to get to know my future SIL, if that's what she is? We have nothing, and i mean nothing in common.

I like how people say "just bear it". Have you ever went to a wedding alone? I have. With my mom and my sister to my uncles wedding where my dad was a groomsman. It was absolutely terrible! We were seated outside, alone, while the entire rest of the family was inside. My mom wanted to cry. She felt completely isolated. An outsider. If my husband is the best man, and it's wrong for me to request to sit with him at the reception, I will not bear it, I have no desire to ruin my weekend, and have no issues staying behind in order to avoid drama.

Well honestly even if he has to sit with the bridal party during dinner and toasting, it will not last all that long and then he can join you guys. Ask him how he feels about it. In the end, I would say do not let that woman control your life. My FILS's are crazy and the opposite of my family. I am learning to deal with them. I will not let them dictate our wedding or my life. I am sorry that she treats you that way, but really I would go to support BIL and ignore them.

That's an awful place to be and I'm sorry you have to be there. I guess I would attend the wedding. Congratulate the groom, kiss your man, sneak a peak at the seating chart and if you find it unbearable, duck out quietly. It'll show your support but relieve you from the pressure of the reception.

I go to things alone all the time - but I'm a introvert so it works for me. I'm guessing you're not, though.

I would just go and support the one member of his family you do get along with. Take your child, enjoy it with him/her, dance with him/her and then leave. Don't stay long - just enough to show support.

You won't be alone! You have your kids!

I understand that it's certainly an uncomfortable position, but in your position, I would attend with my kids even if I sat alone. It may be a great time to just talk to random people you will never see again. Maybe there will be other parents with children there that you can socialize with. The best revenge is living well, so don't let them see you be beaten down.

That's a tough one... I've been in similar situations before and it's not fun. I'd be really tempted to not go, but that might be like letting them win. If MIL doesn't want you there, it might disappoint her if you show up and at least appear to have a good time. Does your husband have an opinion on whether you go or not?

I am sorry you have such a poor relationship with your in laws. What a terrible feeling that must be for you, and more so for your husband. Since you are certain that you will not have a good time (and are already anticipating crying) I would respectfully suggest that you do not attend. Any drama is NOT fair to the couple getting married. Missing a guest is less of a disappointment than one who causes drama. I'm sure you can understand that.

Since you're also upset that the wedding is held on your birthday weekend, perhaps you can make plans with someone that you get along with, which can be your excuse to regretfully decline.

I know what it is like to dread situations (we all have those evil people in our families). Best revenge is to look good and and fake you are having a good time. You will take your kids, sit and laugh. Is it open seating or do you know if there will be assigned seating? Is there any friends who you like? Maybe your husband can put a bug in the bride's ear about where to put you and the kids to sit? Is your FMIL as evil to your FSIL?

What a sad situation! As others have said, don't let this woman beat you down, especially not in front of your kids!

Where is your husband in all this?

It sounds to me that you have already made your mind up that your not going to have a good time. If you truely want nothing to do with this family (outside of your husband) why are you even thinking of going?

Why do you not want to get to know your soon to be SIL? You say that you have no issues with your BIL, but not going to his wedding will create one.

I'm sorry, I'm sure you're in a tough situation, but the way you have said some things in these comments makes me think you're not trying to get along with your in laws. I can only go off if what you've said here, so forgive me if I'm wrong. Your comment about the wedding being your birthday weekend rubbed me the wrong way. As adults, we have to do things on our birthdays all the time. That shouldn't even be an issue.

Even if your in laws are awful, I would still suggest you go. Don't alienate the one member of your husband's family that you get along with. At least go to support your husband. If you don't, you'll just be showing your in laws that they're right about you.

I've gone to a DRY wedding where I only knew a few people, most of them don't like me, and the only person I could have a pleasant time with was FH (who was in the wedding party). I went, I looked fabulous, I felt awkward most of the time, and he appreciated my effort. It was 1 day, I stayed under the radar, and I made polite small talk with those at my table

I am in a VERY similar situation as you are in that I do not get along with anyone on my FHs side of the family except for this brother (heck, FH doesn't even get along with the other people in his family, including his parents). It is TOUGH to be around them, which is why we limit our contact with his family, mine more so than FHs.

However, if you actually get along with your FBIL, I think missing his wedding would be a big mistake. You need to keep that relationship strong, and I know I would be offended if you missed my wedding just because you can't stand to be in the same room as someone else. There is NO rule saying that you have to speak with his family, and I think being alone for a couple of hours is worth it in the long run. Heck, you may meet some pretty nifty people at the wedding who can keep you entertained. Didn't you say that you have a 6 yo who will also be with you? All 6 yo's I know usually keep me pretty busy and entertained.

As far as sitting with your hubby at the bridal table, I think that is a call only the Bride and Groom can make - I think it would be tacky for you to request it. FH and I are personally having our bridal party and their SOs sitting with us at the bridal table but if they brought their kid, I would probably ask for them to sit at a regular guest table (sorry - I don't want kids at my table).

Why wouldn't you want to get to know your future sister in law? You get along with his brother, which seems pretty huge considering that no one else likes you. You should support him. You should want to get along with his FW. You DO have something in common - him.

I almost feel like this is a troll post because why would marry into a family that hates you? I would understand if your DH also cut ties with them, but he obviously is still a part of this family and you say that nobody except your BIL likes you. You obviously don't want to go so don't go, but I don't think it would be that terrible to sit through the ceremony and dinner with your kids and then join with your husband after dinner when the dancing starts. I agree with Kyle, just plan something for your birthday since you don't want any part of your DH's family. You don't even want to meet the woman your BIL is marrying, even though he has always been nice to you. It would be best if you kept that negativity away from the family on their big day, but it will also only make you look worse to the rest of the family, just saying.

I think you only hurt your BIL by not attending (and you like him!), and your MIL wins. Don't give her the satisfaction. Your husband is perfectly within his rights to suggest to BIL that they include SOs if they are doing a head table (not including SOs is rude as hell anyway), or that he sit with you and his kids.

Hold your head high if you choose to go and dont stoop to their level! Good luck.

Have you asked your BIL his opinion? Could you or DH causally bring up what kind of seating for the bridal party at the reception?

I think you should be able to sit through the ceremony alone. They aren't too long, you will have your kids. I suggest showing up as close to the start time as possible and leaving immediately after to avoid the family as much as possible.

If you would be included in the head table or husband could sit with you, then you might be ok at the reception. Perhaps you not coming would ease BIL's worries about drama.