How to word a limited bar on the invitation?

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I don't think anyone would actually cut out people in their lives for not having an open bar.

H's best friend since high school is getting married soon. They're doing one or two drink tickets and a cash bar. We're still going. We are pretty annoyed by the idea that even though we're spending nearly $2k for both of us to be there (we have to buy plane tickets, stay at an overpriced hotel, rent a car, etc) we're expected to shell out even more money if we'd like to drink though.

People hosting weddings like to gripe about how expensive they are as an excuse to have sub-par hosting in terms of food and alcohol. Those people are forgetting that it's expensive to be a guest at a wedding too. People are spending their time and money to come. Your reception is where you're supposed to thank them for coming, and that thank you takes the form of food and drinks. Don't sell your guests short on the thank you.

Host the number of people you can afford to host properly. Cut the guest list until you can afford food and drink for those you have invited. No one will remember your favors, dove release, photo booth, chargers, up lighting, chair covers, make-up, etc.--everyone will remember the food and drink--and your generosity or stinginess.

This is going to be confusing and unfair for your guests, and your wording would make me think the selection was limited, not that I would have to pay cash after a certain time. If you let your guests know drinks are only free for a certain amount of time, this is going to be every (alcohol drinking) guest at your wedding.

View Quoted Comment OK, awesome!

We did a consumption bar/ open bar for ours. It was at a restaurant. We had 48 guests and had four different beers available including shock top and dogfish head a signature apple cider mimosa with a brown sugar rim and Red and white wine. Our bar tab was less than 1000. Everyone had many to drink. We budgeted 1500 and negotiated the rates of the drinks ( we. We were paying the tab at the end of the night) . Everyone had a great time. But we asked the bartenders to tell us when we were approaching that number. They never did because we didn’t even top 1000. I think depending on your venue- you’ll be fine. Granted I had some very drunk guests who started drinking very early in the morning and started their own tab. And depending where you’re located and what your venue’s policy is.

View Quoted Comment Well stated. Thoughtfulness counts too. I also liked the first comment which stated there would be lots of opposition. We Just need to keep in mind this is a "forum" with a variety of "opinions". Take them all with a grain of salt. Your Day....Your Way!

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You try putting a time cap on it instead of saying limited so guests aren't confused. Like, "Open bar until (blank)pm." The venue should be able to help with estimating this since they have likely done it before. Then if they don't feel they are being hosted well enough, they know when to leave. With the costs of everything for weddings these days, and most venues requiring the use of their bar tender and alcohol I don't think it's unreasonable to ask them to pay to drink beyond what you're providing. I've been leaning towards a limited bar as well due to the cost my venue is charging for drink packages. They can always sneak a flask or something!

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^^ THIS. It's not about the type of friends that you have and are worried you'll upset. It's appreciating your family and friends for coming to celebrate this amazing day with you... and what better way to thank them than to provide all of their food and drinks.

I don't think anyone would leave a friendship because of a non-open bar. To that point, yes, our friends bring a 6-pack or bottle of wine and usually leave the leftover. They do that because it is proper etiquette to bring something when you are a guest at a dinner etc. The same way that we are grossly over-prepared with food and alcohol when we are throwing a party. Because really, our guests should not have to provide anything when we are hosting.

Etiquette can sometimes feel a little like trying too hard and putting yourself out to not hurt peoples' feelings. I wouldn't end a relationship over poor-etiquette but when I think back on the wedding that was poorly hosted vs. my friend who hosted literally the most incredible wedding guest experience ever I have much better happier feelings about the second one.

Have what your going to have and serve what your serving. Stop serving One hour before it ends and if you run out at least everyone got a Free buzz anything more than that if they want it they can buy it... You Do Not Want Anyone's Death on your hands... Do what you can and don't worry about the rest. Free food free entertainment and free alcohol and then FREE LOVE! Live to drink another Day. 😘

I found this on a reddit board.

"The first few rounds are on us! If you're feeling extra celebratory, a cash bar will be available for extra libations.""

I like to know what the arrangement is for alcohol as I like to have a drink at weddings so its definately something good to mention. I wouldnt want to be caught without cash if its a cash bar.

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I know that this post is from awhile ago. But, I am having the same dilemma right now. My friends and family are not big drinkers, but my fiancee's side will be taking up most of our bar bill on the wedding night. I'm debating between the first two hours open bar or drink tickets, and we will put signs up at the bar while decorating to let them know that.

Most of the weddings that I have been to have been open bar the first hour or they didn't provide any free alcohol at all, which was 100% completely okay with me. Weddings cost A LOT of money, and I think that most people understand this. I agree with you - if someone is going to be upset that we don't have an open bar the entire night, then that isn't a person that I want at my wedding either. If people only had 3 drinks all night, sure, we would pay. But like you said, it's not our responsibility to use a huge chunk of our bank account for something that is literally going to go down the toilet a couple hours later.

So, don't worry too much, some people do agree with you.

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What we decided to do is make drink tickets that will be put at each person's spot (minus the few that we know won't drink like kids, my grandmother, recovering alcoholics). Then they use the tickets, each person will get three tickets, and get a champagne toast. So really they are getting 4 drinks from us.
To let folks know, I put it on our website, and we are also using word of mouth. On the website it says "There is a cash bar, but as a thank you for coming, your first three drinks are on us!"

The time/cash limits on bars means that people who like to drink are going to drink as much as possible in the beginning of the night, and order multiple drinks to have an extra on the table, etc. So some people will have a bunch of drinks and some people will have one, and then they'll have to pay for their 2nd just because they didn't try to game the system and/or get wasted early in the night. With the time limit, at least people won't be surprised. But I've been that person in line for 10 minutes and I get to the front at 9:01pm and am told I have to pay for my drink. It's so obnoxious.

It's tacky, by definition, to host an event you can't afford. Turning the bar to cash at some point during the night is by definition hosting an event you can't afford, so by definition is tacky. Don't do it. Have less options, or cheaper options, and close during dinner for just table service, etc., and cut money elsewhere, or have a smaller guest list, but host the event that you can afford.

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I just had to google what an apple cider mimosa was. I think I love you. No, I know I love you. Thanks for posting that!

We are doing exactly the same - we will have enough of our signature drink for everyone to have 1 (knowing 1/2 of our 150 guests probably wont drink much anyway) and then we have $1000 on the tab. Our families are not paying for the wedding so we are on a budget, we have been open and honest about what we will provide which is the signature drink and the $1000. I have not heard one person I have said this to bat an eye at it. As far as wording - on the direction card we are putting something along the lines of "Enjoy our signature drink and the first few rounds on us, then dance the night away with your choice of beverage at the cash bar - Cheers!"

I'm going to be perfectly honest. If I knew that you were only paying for some drinks, I would be the person going up and getting like 3 drinks and so would my FH. My college actually stopped doing timed open bars at alumni events because they found that people drank less over the course of the night/less people got drunk when they weren't rushing to get all the drinks during the time it was free.

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I agree with you. I've been to several weddings that had an "open bar" until it runs out. People can't compare a dinner event at someone's house to a wedding held at a venue that charges for every little thing. I am trying to figure out the same thing as you are. Because I also want to inform my guests to bring cash IF the bar runs out. And by IF, that means it might not run out. But if it does, and I don't bring cash, well then, I would have liked to know that prior to arriving. I am thinking about including it on details card under RECEPTION.

Details

CEREMONY

Please arrive 30 minutes early to ensure the ceremony starts on time.

RECEPTION

Buffet style dinner will be served. There will be an open bar for those guests 21+, however it could run out before the evening is over. A cash bar will be available thereafter.

CHILDREN

We regret to inform you, that due to number restrictions, we are unable to accommodate children with the exception of those immediate family member traveling to be with us and the wedding party.

I'm sure I'll get some back lash here, but despite all of the negative reviews about your bar, many people prepurchase a certain amount, and from there its a cash bar. You are not the only one.

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Jessica, I love that wording. I might go with that for our bar!

View Quoted Comment No, but we do frequently tell our friends "we're cooking dinner and have miller lite and wine; if you'd prefer something else, you're welcome to bring it."